(Closed) Foud out something

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Anxiouspeanut: LOL it’s hard waiting patiently isn’t it! I honestly thought I’d be engaged 6 months ago at the latest. And I’m still not. But it’s going to be oh so exciting when it finally does happen ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 18
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

@Anxiouspeanut: Don’t worry girl.. I totally get where you are coming from. It wasn’t until recently when I went through all SO’s finances that I realized that LIFE comes up. Its hard for us girls.. but we have to trust in our men. And I know you have prob been doing this for a while now.. but we all waited.. and when it happened.. the waiting just amplified the happiness of that time. *hugs* it will be ok. It will happen when it happens and you are not crazy to be disheartened. keep your head up and drown out the neg thoughts and people

Post # 20
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

@Anxiouspeanut: Dont take offence! Just play in to his game lol You will have one up on him many more times if you are to spend your life with this man.. and you can ALWAYS refer back to ….remember that one time when I wanted to get engaged…….well this is payback B****! lol You should really keep in mind that revenge is a mother…and payback is a bitch lol He prob really likes to see you squirm.. and I can’t blame him.. I would totally do the same thing to my SO if I had one up on him! just for fun! You will get your chance ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 21
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe his version of paying for the trip includes the price of the ring? If it did and he was surprising you he certianly wouldn’t tell you, “2K for the trip, oh, and 1K for the ring.” At least he wouldn’t if he wanted to keep it a surprise. ๐Ÿ™‚ If it does, sounds like its going to be a fantastic trip

Post # 23
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

@claireos: I was thinking the same thing! But u know sometimes we like to keep our hopes down so we don’t get dissapointed ๐Ÿ™

Post # 25
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Anxiouspeanut: I’d be careful how much you push.  My brother bought a ring for his girl over a year ago and ended up giving it to my mom to hang onto because he was so sick of hearing about it.  They were having other issues too, but he called the whole thing off instead of giving it to her sooner (they’re still together, but not engaged).  If you know he’s planning on it, then take a deep breath, know that he loves you, and give him some time.  Since he’s getting snarky on you, it sounds like you might be pissing him off, so you might want to ease up.  =)

Post # 27
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

@Anxiouspeanut: The two of us are pretty much in the same boat and I know exactly what you are experiencing.  My SO made a MAJOR purchase last week which has nothing to do with an engagement.  It made me question whether he was thinking at all about getting engaged, given that he spent so much on this purchase.  I didn’t say anything to him, even though he sensed I seemed upset about something–no matter how much he asked me to tell him what was wrong, I said it was nothing at all.  That is because I have made a promise to myself not to say anything until after July of this year.  So far I’ve been quiet since early December and it has NOT been easy.

But what has kept me going on this long is the realization that NOTHING I say or do right will change whatever is meant to happen in the near future.  Think about it, if you and your SO have already talked about getting engaged and he’s said he is workign on it…then there is really nothing you could say to speed things up at this point.  If anything, it will turn him off to it and everything will get delayed.  Men don’t like to be pushed and even though we don’t think we’re pushing when we bring up the topic–they are SUPER SENSITIVE and take it as major pressure!

So, hear me out on this….

If you like, the two of us can make a pact not to say anything for a few more months–what do you think?  It helps to have another bee in the same position and we can support each other when one of us is about to explode. 

Post # 29
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Shirinjoon: I agree with you.  Everything you said was spot on. 
OP, you’re in a difficult position and we sense your frustration.    Through the short term experience I’ve had “waiting” (Once I kinda knew we were going to get married – though I’ve been waiting close to 3 years before that)  I realize it’s not worth ruining the relationship over.    Easier said than done and we’re all in a similar position and anxious but we really need to be distracted and just move on and let it happen in it’s own time.   

The most difficult thing is that the proposal/ring is not in our hands, but it really just symbolizes the long term commitment so we need to try to shift our focuss on that and just live, personally I’ve found the “waiting” process really wears down on a person and I know what you mean about those bitter remarks and resentment, it’s not healthy. 

It’s sad that it all comes down to finances in so many situations, and a lot of times the guy feels he has a specific standard that he must meet too (even though some girls don’t really care too much) 

 

 

Post # 30
Member
450 posts
Helper bee

@Anxiouspeanut: You know, it’s funny how the universe works.  I notice the moment I let go of obsessing over something or fearing this or that, everything falls into place somehow.  Personally speaking, everything in my life has come naturally and whenever I’ve tried to “make” something happen it just wouldn’t.  I don’t know about you, but letting go for me has been the BEST way to live my life. 

I do have my moments though (as you can see in my posts).  But for the most part I think that I’m relaxing about things now.  I really believe that’s because I’ve stopped saying ANYTHING having to do with weddings–even other people’s! And when I do lose hope I come on weddingbee–and it has helped me tremendously.  So here’s to a smooth and carefree ride for both of us in the next few months…best of luck!

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