For me, money is ALWAYS a touchy subject…
That comes from life experience (I am over 50)…
My upbringing makes it a “breach of Etiquette” to ask someone such personal Questions
AND my bad marriage / horrid Divorce has taught me that money can be a very UGLY topic for couples… even married couples
(Statistically Money is a HUGE issue and a cause of many a Divorce)
My beliefs are such now UNTIIL YOU ARE ACTUALLY MARRIED, that whatever you own is your own…
Even if a couple has agreed to pool / share resources jointly
(And what does that mean anyhow? For some people it means 100% combined, and for others merely paying expenses 50/50. ALL VERY CONFUSING)
Legally you have no stake in one another, until you say I DO
So I can’t see where what he has been doing with his money is truly any great concern of yours
Maybe a gray area tho in that you’ve both agreed on a common goal, and now you find out that things are not exactly as you assumed.
You could certainly have a chat about it, as you claim you came upon the Bank Statement “accidently”
But then what ?
What if he tells you he has a lot of money put aside… he’s been keeping it on the down-low because he sees it as a Private Personal Matter
Does this mean your views of him change ? Or he of you ? Will it erode the trust you two have ?
Honestly, I think you might want to weigh the possible outcomes of such a discussion / confrontation BEFORE you reference the Bank Statement you found
Maybe it is better to just have more open discussions about money in general, and how you guys value it… how you feel about it, what it means to you now in life, going forward, and for the future.
Those topics will tell you a lot more than perhaps playing this one card…
Hope this helps,
PS… For the record, Mr TTR and I didn’t join our finances pre-Wedding, we stuck with a 50/50 situation (not ideal for the long term for so many reasons… you can do a WBEE SEARCH and read my comments on WHY exactly such an idea doesn’t work and is detrimental to women ala Gail Vaz-Oxlade of “Til Debt Do Us Part”) BUT it assured that neither of us was in a situation whereby if we should spit up while dating, that there would be a “bigger loser” in the equation.
Found the link to a past topic on Joint Finances… you can find my very detailed replies at # 6, # 18, # 19 and # 23