(Closed) Found a condom in FI's pants pocket. So confused! Long

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@jaylinjo:  I don’t think he did anything, HONESTLY.


Good job for keeping a level head.

Post # 4
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@jaylinjo:  Reading your story I would tend to believe your Fiance is telling you the truth. 

However this:

Even if he is telling the truth, I want to know who this “friend” is that gave him that damn condom knowing that he is getting married in 19 days! That “friend” will no longer be allowed in my home and I never want to speak with them again (I am cool with all of FI’s boys, I hang with them all the time!).

I am right there with you.  In My Humble Opinion, you deserve to know who this “friend” is and they would be dead to me.  You have the right to know who is trying to encourage your Fiance to cheat and who has so little regard or respect for you. 

Post # 5
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@jaylinjo:  Has he done anything before to break that trust? If not then I would trust him. Sounds like a legit story but I do agree with you about not letting this “friend” in my house, life, marriage again. Friends don’t do that. They just don’t. Hugs!

Post # 6
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@jaylinjo:  I don’t think he did anything either.  But I DO agree with how to handle the “friend”.  Your Fiance has to tell you.  That is disgusting.

Post # 7
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That totallysucks. I would also ask for the “friends” name and see who it was. What an asshole for trying to get your fiance to do that.

Post # 8
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think you answered your own question: You trust your Fiance. So trust him that he is telling the truth. If he hasn’t given you a reason to believe he is lying, then believe him. If you can’t get over it, maybe you have more trust issues than you think you do.

Plus, if he had sex with a stripper, you would have found a used condom (or no condom at all), not a wrapped one (unless he was carrying around more than one, but seriously, who carries a bunch of condoms around with them for one night?)

I totally agree with you, though, about being pissed at this “friend” of his. I wouldn’t want him in my home, either. I would demand to know who it was, and he would get one hell of an earfull from me.

Post # 9
3350 posts
Sugar bee

@Zhabeego:  +1 The friend deserves your wrath, and I honestly think your Fiance is telling the truth. Now if the condom was not there, and it was just a wrapper…different story.

Post # 10
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jaylinjo:  ((HUGS))  I’m so sorry you’re hurting.  Try to calm down a little.  It does sound like, in this case, it’s part of a harmless bachelor party prank.  He told you what happened and how/why the condom was there.  His explanation is plausible. 

Things like this are why bachelor parties are so utterly stupid and such a bad idea, imo.  I will never understand the point of them.  I’m so glad we decided against those.

This sucks to have happened to you so close to your wedding.  But you agreed he could do those things, so you really have to take some of the responsibility here for what happened.  You can’t make him feel guilty now, after the fact, when beforehand you told him it would be ok to have that kind of bachelor party.

You have to choose to believe him or, if you don’t trust him any more, reconsider getting married so soon.  Is that an option for you?  Has he screwed up that badly?  I’m sure you’re shocked at your own pain and sense of betrayal.  It’s funny how it sounds all cool and easy going until the reality of the situation strikes.

This is no way to start a marriage.  I’m so sorry for you!

Post # 11
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@jaylinjo:  wait, it was an unopened, new condom? I would believe him. He was so open about everything else. Probably just some guy playing a joke

Post # 12
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’d probably believe him, based on what you said. 

The other day my husband went to take my car and went through my purse and found a prepaid cell phone he’d never seen before. That could’ve looked bad, but he just asked me about it. It is a client’s of mine who gave it to me so I can get a recording off of it. Point being, sometimes look bad and they aren’t. If you wouldn’t suspect your fi otherwise, and because he seemed to be so honest about everything, sounds to me like he’s a good guy.

Post # 13
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

The fact that it was still unused is a good sign. But yeah, find out the friend’s name. That’s really awful of the friend!

Post # 14
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I believe him.  I think a lot of the already married men try to live through the groom to be which is really pathetic in my opinion. 


Post # 15
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Also, this is kind of personal but Magnum is a plus-sized condom for men who can’t fit into normal sizes. Consider whether your guy needs that size or not. If he doesn’t, it was probably just a bachelor party prank.

Post # 16
9691 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jaylinjo:  If you say you trust him and you have no reasons to doubt him then that is what you should do.  I don’t see why you should be crying all day…I would take him at his word if I were you.

However, I would definitely ask exactly which friend this was as I would want to know!

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