(Closed) Found a condom in FI's pants pocket. So confused! Long

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

*hugs*

Ugh, I am so sorry that you are going through this.  I don’t know your fiance, but it does sound like he is telling the truth.  I would also want to have some words with his ‘friend’ and let him know that he is no longer welcome at your home. 

 

 

 

Post # 18
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I believe he is telling you the truth.

Post # 19
Member
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

What an asshole friend! I agree that he should be shunned.

Trust your Fiance. It’s not like you found a condom WRAPPER.

 

Post # 20
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Zhabeego:  Exactly what I was going to say. I would absolutley want to know who encouraged my fiance to cheat on me.

Post # 21
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@jaylinjo:  It sounds like he didn’t do anything…but WOW. That’s disgusting! I totally agree with you. NEVER allow that “friend” in your house again. 

 

Frankly, I’d suggest telling your fiance that you’re glad he made the right choice, but be very clear that you do not approve of nor could you ever forgive cheating…and  by putting him in a position to cheat, his so-called “friend” could have cost him your relationship and the future you are planning to build together. That guy is NOT a real friend. (He’s a pig).

 

Plus, paying for sex is illegal, disgusting and totally degrading. It’s also dangerous. If your fiance had sex with a stripper and she had some STD, he could have caught it and  passed it to you. One of my closest friends found out her long-term boyfriend was cheating on that way. It ended their relationship, but she’s going to have a disease (not AIDS, thank god–but another STD there’s no cure for) for the rest of her life. For that reason more than anything, I’d be sure your fiance is telling the truth. I’d also suggest that you get yourself tested if you have ANY suspicions that he isn’t.

 

So sorry you had to go through this! 

 

Post # 22
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I agree with the previous bees. Sounds like he was open and honest with you about everything else. Had it just been the wrapper then it would be a totally different story.

 

 

As for the friend… Find out who that mofo is and give him hell!!

Post # 23
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I would find out who this so called “friend” is and have some words with him……

Post # 24
Member
612 posts
Busy bee

It sucks that you have to deal with this, but i agree with other people that this was probably just a prank (an asshole-ish prank if you ask me).  Sounds like your guy really didn’t do anything wrong, and you normally trust him anyway, so i wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.  Except to disinvite that guy friend of his!  Ugh!  What an ass 🙁

Post # 25
Member
1502 posts
Bumble bee

@Zhabeego:  + 1 x 1,000!!! That is absolutely unacceptable of his “friend”.

 

Post # 27
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m pretty suspicious of guys when I hear/read “Did he cheat?” stories, but I honestly think he didn’t do anything to break your trust.

 

 

Unleash hell on that “friend”, I know I would! Even if it was a joke (which doesn’t seem likely because it was pre-paid for), it’s not funny, under any circumstances.

 

I think the best way to make the horrible thoughts to go away is to get the friend to confess to giving your Fiance the condom, and to get corroborating stories from other guys in attendance that your man did nothing wrong.

 

Post # 28
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yeah definitely don’t think he did anything. If he had anything to hide he definitely would not have forgotten about that condom. He knew exactly what you found and told you a reason with no hesitation what so ever.Just move on and enjoy each other and don’t let this get in the way of the best day of your life 🙂

Now as for the friend yeah I would be pissed off too! FH has a friend who got married super young and had kids, got divorced and now is all about having sex with whoever because who cares…he even has a girlfriend and cheats on her so FH already knows I don’t like him. This friend of your FH sounds like something FH friend may pull when that day comes up and if he does all hell will break loose because I already don’t like him!

Post # 29
Member
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Honestly, I think it was probably more of a joke than anything – trust your FH, the friend is probably a bit of an ass but most guys have one of those.  The fact that it’s a magnum makes me think it’s a joke (No offence but generally when guys have them, they’re not serious – maybe your man is exceptional and if so kudos to you Wink)

I would be thrown too but I wouldn’t worry about it a bit!

Post # 30
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jaylinjo:  what a disgusting person to pre-pay the stripper for sex, holy shit. The fact that your husband was even honest about THAT gory detail (along with the other stuff, and the fact that the condom was unopened, and the fact that you trust him to begin with) makes me think you should trust him on this. The guy who gave him the condom is absolutely vile, ‘friends’ like that are not friends. I would especially want to know if this person is a groomsman – would he stand there with your husband, witnessing his marriage, having just tried to encourage him to cheat?! Though frankly anyone who is a guest at a wedding, in my mind, is enough of a witness to the marriage that they should be supportive of the relationship. And not pay for infidelity! Wow, yeah, find out who this douche is for sure. 

Post # 31
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsGinkgo:  I thought it sounded like a joke at first too, until I got to the part where the stripper was prepaid to have sex with the groom…

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