(Closed) Found a condom in FI's pants pocket. So confused! Long

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m with all the bees here who seem to be (mostly) in consensus that your Fiance is telling the truth.

But I would absolutely un-invite that creep of a “friend.” I know may sound a little drastic, and please do it in as kind and rational a way as possible (not angrily or spitefully) – just tell him that your wedding day is sacred to you, and you and your husband-to-be want to surround yourselves with people who love you both and fully support your marriage.

I also think it’s important that you take a stand on this, so that your fiance understands that you feel strongly about this issue.

I wouldn’t make your fiance do the dirty work – that’s almost like a punishment, for something he didn’t do.

Just be sure to let go of your anger and focus instead on making your wedding day as full of only good, positive feelings as possible!

But that’s just my 2 cents – only you can really make this call, and I’m sure you’ll make the right decision in the end.

 

Post # 123
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016
Post # 124
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

When I first started to read this, my first thought was “someone probably gave him the condom as a joke.”  I really don’t think he did anything.  Surely dudes are going to bring condoms to a bachelor party, especially if they’re single.  I doubt the friend expected him to actually take him up on the offer.  Some men are just gross.

Post # 125
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t know but finding an unused condom after a bacholer party is not very uncommon, they are there, girls come back with tons of them from there party along with penis straws.  It is all just part of the experience in my opinion.

Post # 126
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Zhabeego:  You misunderstood my post.  When I said “how terrible” I was referring to the fact that someone would encourage him to cheat.  I agreed that she should find out who the friend was and remove him from their lives.

Post # 127
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jaylinjo:  I’d let him come to the wedding just so that I could make him feel like crap in person and say sorry to my face! 

Post # 128
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@hlayers:  Oh, sorry!

Post # 129
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee

@jaylinjo:  I think he’s being honest. He told you all about the strippers and lets not forget….the condom wasn’t opened.

Post # 130
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would be very inclined to trust your man.

Post # 131
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

How close is his old friend to him now? I think it might still be awkward for your fiance and that friendship might fade over time. Maybe they both have different lifestyles and beliefs now.

Post # 132
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

In order for me to invite that piece of sh**, he’d better say sorry to me before the wedding day. I don’t want to talk about it ON my wedding day.

Post # 133
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think that J needs to call you and apologize profusely if he expects to attend your wedding/be part of your FI’s life. If he’s willing to do that, then I think that it’d be best for your relationship with your Fiance if you were gracious and forgiving enough to allow him to attend. I’m sure that he now feels shitty and embarrassed and knows that he crossed a line, and it would be hard on your Fiance to feel like he’s being punished when he didn’t do anything wrong. But if J isn’t man enough to admit that he behaved horribly, apologize, and vow to support your relationship instead of undermining it, then no, I don’t think you should have to see this asshole on your wedding day or ever again.

Post # 134
Member
717 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

You cannot control who a grown man’s friends are. Regardless of what the FRIEND’S values are, YOUR FIANCE has enough balls to say no. He’s not your child, he’s your companion.

Post # 135
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m with the other Bees who believe your Fiance. If it was any other scenario than his Bachelor aprty I’d probably be suspicious but this is like if you had a Bachelorette and one of your friend decided you girls would all play “put the condom on the banana” and then your guy found that condom and questioned it. 

 

His friend however, if he was serious that they prepaid for a stripper, is a total jerk. That goes beyond “We’re just a bunch of drunk guys having a bachelor party”. That’s truly jerky. I wouldn’t blame you if you univited him from the wedding.

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