Post # 92
No, do not read them until you asked him. I now its your fiance, but this is his personal property from an ex-lover, they are private unless he is ok with you reading them. Plus you might end up getting jealous, its like opeing pandora’s box.
Post # 93
You are 100% wrong, and have major security issues. Wow!
Post # 94
I understand. I had to clean out a house that him and his ex shared even though she had moved out 9 months prior to me coming into the picture. His ex is the only person I feel threated about because he loved her before. (Which is silly because I too was married before.) So I saw the wedding album, other pictures, etc. I still bugs me that she has a few pictures of him on her facebook.
I am thinking that your husband said those things to his ex wife as closure for the relationship. There are many emotions that one goes through when filing for divorce. I too had sentimental feelings even though we had lived separately over 5 years and I was very much in love with my current husband. Think of it as just closure…nothing more.
Post # 95
Guys, I just want to say thanks for all the support. I did tell him that I looked and we talked about it when he got home. I showed him the card that I thought he’d given to her at the end of their relationship and it seems that it was a card from when they were just dating and she’d broken up with him for a week. Whew! We had a good conversation about my insecurities about him being married before and me feeling like his rebound. He explained that that relationship was different from the marriage I have in mind and our relationship and that’s how he could get over it so quickly (she cheated and was abusive). He reassured me that he does not think about her and the box I found was not a “love box” full of memories that he wanted to reminisce about.
He threw away all the cards in the box and told me that if I find anything in the future I should just tell him and he’ll throw it. He said that he has to live with his negative memories and I shouldn’t have that burden too.
I apologized for looking at them at all. It’s all good now. Finding the box just made us fix something that’s been eating at me and I hope my insecurities about that relationship are mitigated (fingers crossed).
Post # 96
Cannot agree with you more!
Post # 97
Glad you guys resolved it! 🙂
Post # 98
Ok, prom pictures or birthday pictures, aside.. I was under the impression that these pictures she found were documenting the relationship, not just his life in general. Plus, I think it also depends on how serious the relationship was.
SO glad that was resolved! 🙂
Post # 99
@MrsSanchizel: I would tell your Fiance you found them. Perhaps he will share them but otherwise he may want you to just let it go. I saved all my old letters and such and recently was organizing and found them. Though I let Fi read a few I am not saving them for him or for me for that matter. One day I may burn them or perhaps one of my children will take them or whatever. The thing is that the relationships in past letters are just that, the past. You can’t change the future if you live in the past and reading those letters can cause you to do so
Post # 100
You control the next few hours of your night; make a good choice by throwing them out and feel good about it. Or feel pretty lame and down cuz you read a bunch of old love letters?
Post # 101
I would ask your SO to get rid of the letters if they upset you, but not read them.
I guess it depends on why their relationship ended.