Post # 46
jujubells : It does sound confusing. I don’t know what to tell you, other than to wait until he proposes then once it settles in for a couple days bring up that you don’t think the ring suits you very well. I wouldnt try and avoid making it seem like it’s a “bad” ring, rather that it;s a beautiful ring but it doesn’t feel like “you”. An engagement ring is pretty personal and you’ll likely want to wear almost every day, so it’s allowed to want one that you like and one that you feel like fits “you”. I don’t have any other advice about how to do it tactfully, the truth is I think he might be hurt regardless of how nice you are about it, but do your best.
Post # 47
I don’t know. It’s pretty clear he’s going to propose and I’d hate to see him not be able to take it back because too much time has elapsed. I might casually review your ring preferences with him for when he “gets the ring”. But I. A nervous Nellie about missing a return by date.
This is why I’m a big fan of the man and woman choosing the ring. In 33 years my husband has bought me jewelry I like only a handful of times and most of those times involved me pointing to something in a window or being right there with him. Fortunately he was smart enough to propose without a ring and we got it the following week when he had a day off.
Post # 48
I really don’t understand why people are suggesting you not have a conversation with your boyfriend. Sure, it will be awkward, but two people should be able to talk out awkward moments and upsetting things, not tiptoe around each other like they are in some romcom.
Post # 49
I will bring it up to him that I found his bad hiding spot while cleaning, and wait to see what his response is when I tell him I found it. If he asks me what I think, I’ll gently tell him it is a beautiful ring, but I’m not sure why he chose that particular style based on what we’d looked at and designed. As many of you said it’s probably best to not mention the ex, so I’ll leave it out unless he really pushes as to why I’m not fond of what he picked.
I’ll just be as open as I can to what he has to say. The jeweller’s return/exchange window is far gone at this point, and I think it’s better to leave it open for discussion how he’d like to proceed. If he still intends to use the ring, I’ll just request to pick my own wedding set. I think that would be a fair trade off.
Either way this will be an awkward conversation. I’m definitely going to poke fun at his hiding spot somewhere low (I’m 5’) when he could’ve put it anywhere high (he’s 6’5”) and I wouldn’t have stumbled across it while vacuuming.
I really appreciate all of the input from you guys, it’s interesting how split the responses were.
Post # 50
jujubells : Did you talk to him about it yet bee?
Post # 51
jujubells : FWIW I am not at all a fan of princess cuts so I can understand your disappointment 😕 good luck with your convo! My best friend has an ering almost identical to what your SO bought and she never wears it. She only wears a stack of wedding bands.
Post # 52
missinthecity : not yet. I’m planning to talk to him this weekend so he’s not tired and grumpy from work and will be more receptive to what we will talk about.
Post # 53
Good luck and keep us updated. I truly think it’s possible that he may have made an impulse buy and is now trying to sell it. That would explain why he has had it for months
Post # 54
I don’t understand why someone would hold onto a ring well past the return window unless he made a special arrangement. Maybe he is trying to sell it or save up again.
Since you’ve been very involved up until now, I’d just ask if he has any questions about your preferences and remind him what those are. Then let him handle the rest.
Post # 55
jujubells : Thread resurrection! How did it go??
Post # 56
As it is past the return date – can you phone the store and explain and see if they’d still let you exchange it?
Otherwise can you
– use the stones for a wedding band
– just suck it up until your wedding day then after the wedding only wear your wedding band (which will be beautiful and selected by you) after that.
– accidentally lose it (just kidding).
Post # 57
What if he can’t return the ring and can’t get his full money back if he sells it. What if he can’t afford another ring? Will you be okay if you purchase one for yourself and just let him know that you hate the ring he proposed you with?
Post # 59
twentytwentybride : I am hoping worst case scenario, she could pay to get the ring remade into somethng she likes, so then it would at least incorporate the diamonds he has already purchased