Found engagement ring bf had stashed, got some weird vibes

posted 2 months ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
385 posts
Helper bee

 

jujubells :  It does sound confusing. I don’t know what to tell you, other than to wait until he proposes then once it settles in for a couple days bring up that you don’t think the ring suits you very well. I wouldnt try and avoid making it seem like it’s a “bad” ring, rather that it;s a beautiful ring but it doesn’t feel like “you”. An engagement ring is pretty personal and you’ll likely want to wear almost every day, so it’s allowed to want one that you like and one that you feel like fits “you”. I don’t have any other advice about how to do it tactfully, the truth is I think he might be hurt regardless of how nice you are about it, but do your best. 

Post # 47
Member
3515 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t know. It’s pretty clear he’s going to propose and I’d hate to see him not be able to take it back because too much time has elapsed. I might casually review your ring preferences with him for when he “gets the ring”. But I. A nervous Nellie about missing a return by date.

This is why I’m a big fan of the man and woman choosing the ring. In 33 years my husband has bought me jewelry I like only a handful of times and most of those times involved me pointing to something in a window or being right there with him. Fortunately he was smart enough to propose without a ring and we got it the following week when he had a day off. 

Post # 48
Member
779 posts
Busy bee

I really don’t understand why people are suggesting you not have a conversation with your boyfriend. Sure, it will be awkward, but two people should be able to talk out awkward moments and upsetting things, not tiptoe around each other like they are in some romcom. 

Post # 51
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

jujubells :  FWIW I am not at all a fan of princess cuts so I can understand your disappointment 😕 good luck with your convo! My best friend has an ering almost identical to what your SO bought and she never wears it. She only wears a stack of wedding bands. 

Post # 53
Member
203 posts
Helper bee

Good luck and keep us updated. I truly think it’s possible that he may have made an impulse buy and is now trying to sell it. That would explain why he has had it for months

Post # 54
Member
11618 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I don’t understand why someone would hold onto a ring well past the return window unless he made a special arrangement. Maybe he is trying to sell it or save up again. 

Since you’ve been very involved up until now, I’d just ask if he has any questions about your preferences and remind him what those are. Then let him handle the rest.

Post # 56
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

As it is past the return date – can you phone the store and explain and see if they’d still let you exchange it? 

Otherwise can you

– use the stones for a wedding band

– just suck it up until your wedding day then after the wedding only wear your wedding band (which will be beautiful and selected by you) after that. 

– accidentally lose it (just kidding).

Post # 57
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: By the lake

What if he can’t return the ring and can’t get his full money back if he sells it.  What if he can’t afford another ring?  Will you be okay if you purchase one for yourself and just let him know that you hate the ring he proposed you with?

Post # 58
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan

Also very curious!! 

Post # 59
Member
385 posts
Helper bee

twentytwentybride :  I am hoping worst case scenario, she could pay to get the ring remade into somethng she likes, so then it would at least incorporate the diamonds he has already purchased 

Post # 60
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

what happened?!

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