(Closed) Found Fiancé With Online Dating Profile

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4066 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Obs you need to talk to him.  But I would not be running down the aisle with this guy.

 

What did the texts that he accidently sent to you say?

Post # 3
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I don’t see how you could possibly stay with him. I just think it’s SO low and it’s not just a fantasy living out an alternative life he could have, this profile seems to be actively Plotting for it. It doesn’t seem like a happy future. 

Post # 4
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

In My Humble Opinion…move on. Enough said. If he can’t devote himself to only you while engaged than don’t think for one second he’ll do it when you’re married. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

Post # 5
Member
7553 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
lostinlv:  you haven’t got married yet as you didn’t want to settle on your big day.  If you stay with him you will be settling full stop. I would be running away very quickly! 

Post # 6
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

You need to talk to him. Are you sure he’s still active on the site? I know a few of them, ie Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, continue sending emails even once you’ve shut down your account – they want you to see all the pix in the email and log back in (DH and I both still get these emails even though we met on OKCupid and shut down our accounts 2 years ago!). Just a thought. I would ask him before jumping to conclusions.

Post # 7
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this. I went through a very similar situation with my ex-FI (he cheated on me, we got back together, then I found his profile on a dating site). When I confronted him about it, he broke up with me. I was heartbroken. But now I realize that he was a serial cheater, and I am so lucky that we broke up before I ended up married to him. 

When it comes to cheating, I think one time MAY be forgivable. But a pattern of cheating, or the kind of thing he has done by signing up for a dating profile? No way. You deserve so much more. 

 

Post # 8
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Run. Now. Filling out an extensive online dating profile is truly unforgivable, and if you stay with him you will regret it. You deserve so much better, please don’t delude yourself into believing that this can be fixed or worked through. 

Post # 9
Member
2236 posts
Buzzing bee

He’s a sexist pig, judging ALL “America woman” for being a certain way, while looking for probably more “domestic” (ie meek and controllable) women online. Like… WHAT?

If it was a fake profile with fake name and location, I might consider talking through it and trying to move past, but the fact that it’s all real… this makes me think he would really just up and abandon you if he could get something that seemed promising going with another woman. That’s not love.

Post # 10
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
lostinlv:  His ‘about me’ was so douchey it made me giggle. His tired little quip about “American women” is so predictably misogynistic, and sounds like his fetish for “overseas” women is probably racist too. Charming.

If I were you I would log in to his account, change his relationship status to ‘engaged’ and then edit his profile to include “I still think my fiancee doesn’t know about this weird alternative universe fantasy I have, I’m not very bright. But don’t worry ladies, I’ll be single soon!” And then I’d dump him.

Post # 11
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

PS lucky he never met me it would totally shatter his narrow world view: straight up (not proud of it but…) bridezilla or should I say *eurocilla* throughout engagement. If he thinks “foreign” women somehow aren’t demanding 😂 I guess he’s never left the U.S.? 

Post # 13
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

print out his profile, and leave it on his desk. Circle SINGLE, and leave a note saying “you definitely are now”

 

Pack up and leave – you don’t deserve this. 

Post # 14
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
Speck_:  Couldn’t have said it better myself! I was going to suggest logging in and changing his profile, but you nailed it!

OP, you deserve better. I would run, not walk! I would screenshot pics of the profile too just so you have solid evidence before bringing it up! Oh, and has he had any messages with any women? I would message them as well!

Post # 15
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
lostinlv:  RUN!

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