(Closed) Found Fiancé With Online Dating Profile

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
346 posts
Helper bee

lostinlv

maocat:  +1

(email of online dating profil have dates)

 

Stay strong bee. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  icelady.
Post # 32
Member
5159 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Well, I will be honest, before I even finished reading “it’s been a bumpy relationship…he has cheated once a few years ago…we had our ups and downs, as any relationship but over all things we better than they had ever been!” I had my inclination to tell you that don’t justify the negatives in your relationship as something that “any relationship” has. I have never thought of my marriage as a “bumpy one” or of “ups and downs” or had to say but “overall we are better than ever” to justify it. You REALLY sound like you are settling.

So of course once I got the part about the online dating profile, I clearly took the position you need to cut your losses and move on. Not only because what he is doing is dishonest, and it sounds like he intends to at least carry on some sort of emotional relationship, but he sounds like a pig making generalizations about both American women and foreign women. Gross. He broke your trust at least once before and you forgave him. Why would you condone him doing it again?

Post # 33
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with checking if it’s still active or not.  I still get emails from my old online dating accounts.  It would most likely update the age too as I think you put the date and year in so it will continually update.  You could make a profile on that site and check his profile. It generally says if someone is active. 

But even if it’s old, what he put is really offputting.  Trust your gut. 

Post # 34
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Please get out before you have children with him and are tied to him forever. Obviously if he’s texting other people and you found a freaking dating profile of him, he’s not committed to you. What other possible sign are looking for???

Post # 36
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee

OFF WITH HIS HEAD! 

Post # 37
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If you can confirm that he is currently, actively on this website — this is a no brainer.  This “relationship” is over.

Even if not, I just don’t like the sound of this whole thing.  You postponed your wedding because you are too busy and don’t want to settle on a dress?  Really?  This just seems off.

The texting thing is also weird.  What do these accidental texts say, and what does he say when he realizes he sent them to you?  If my Darling Husband accidentally texted something to me, he’d be like “oops sorry I meant that for Joe.”  Does he just not say anything?  

Post # 38
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Not every relationship is a rocky one. You deserve better. The “wrong person” texts really say it all.

Post # 39
Member
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

He sounds shady AF. Find out whatever you can and confront him. 

Post # 40
Member
7 posts
Newbee

lostinlv:  Girl, NO. Run. Do not walk. Let him see the smoke coming off your heels as you Usain Bolt your way out of his life.

The best advice I ever got: Don’t pay attention to what people say to you. Watch what they do. Their actions will tell you what you need to know about them. Believe their actions — they are the truth.

RUN. This man is not to be trusted.

Post # 41
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I vote to create a fake account in some country you know he likes and send him a message. See if he is still active. Somewhere on there it should show if he has send messages recently or received anything. I know firsthand when someone is cheating online, he can make up all sorts of excuses about it not really happening. Truth is though, it likely is, but you need to catch them in the act. I know I don’t regret divorcing my ex who did this to me. I am now much happier than I ever imagined I would be. I learned my lesson and found someone who is respectful and who understands how important faithfulness is to me. You deserve someone who can offer you that.

Post # 42
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

The same way you refuse to settle on your big day and your dream dress, do not settle for the man. You deserve a man who will commit to you and only you, in good and bad times. You deserve a man whose fantasy IS you, and does not need to create a fantasy life online with other women. This man is cheating on you, even if he hasn’t found a woman to do it with. It is cheating, on your emotions, on your worth, on your engagement. 

To be honest I wouldn’t even want to speak to him about it. I’d print out the email and dating profile and give to him and tell him we’re done. I’d try to move out that same week or have him move out that same week. No third chances.

Post # 43
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Speck_:  

Lol YES!! That is brilliant!!

Post # 44
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2016

lostinlv:  

Sorry your going through that! I would dump him! My ex-f seemed like the world to me! I was devastated when things got rocks and we eventually broke up! But I’m glad it happened because now I’m married to love of my life! 

Break up with him… find your love of your life… the love that won’t look overseas for women, or cheat or send mistake texts! That is not cool! I would talk it through, but it sounds like he’s just telling you what you want to hear. 😓😢

Post # 45
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

Oh my goodness, first off. I am so sorry. Second off, I’m not one for lying or going behind someones back, but I second what MissDevourer9 said.. That is the only way to know for sure! 

 

Please keep us updated and let us know if there is anything we can do. 

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