Found My Xmas Gift: Boyfriend Buys Me What He Likes, Not What I Want.

posted 10 months ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
967 posts
Busy bee

Wrong. He may be a poor gifter but he is not wrong by etiquette standards. FutureMrsBex :  

Post # 48
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Since you guys live together, I assume you share finances as well as your lives. When married, your decisions affect your spouse, kids etc. It’s not a great sign if someone is this thoughtless this early on in the relationship, especially with such a large amount of money.

I’ve made it very clear to my husband not to make any substantial purchases for me without clearing it with me first. Saying someone should just be grateful for whatever comes their way is an interesting point of view. I have my own tastes, standards, style, preferences and I am honest with my spouse about it. It is not offensive to me that I get no “surprise” gifts. I prefer to discuss things with my husband and say “why don’t I get the new phone I need as a birthday gift” or “I want to upgrade my ring, so this is what I plan to do” etc etc.

Post # 49
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

penny1403 :  I think proper ettiquette says something about how the gift should be meaningful, that leads me to believe the giver should take  into consideration the other persons wants, needs, interests, whatever. 

OP’s boyfriend is being a total dick by giving her something he knows she doesn’t like. 

Post # 50
Member
8327 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

futuremrs2020 : 

“Sounds like there are a lot of jealous bees commenting on this post, “it’s his money” “first world problems”. GTFO. There are clearly more issues here, but you’re all failing to see it.” 

Well, I can see many posts which clearly  acknowledge OP’s real  problem, seems to me you’ve  failed to see them .

Speaking for myself, LMAO at ‘jealous ‘…. you are  projecting perhaps? 

Post # 51
Member
5583 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Doesn’t etiquette generally say that a gift should be something the person receiving the gift should enjoy? How it he not wrong by etiquette standards? penny1403 :  

Post # 52
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Lol absolutely not, but thanks for taking the time to check. And I clearly didn’t miss the point, as I made several comments regarding the fact that her boyfriend isn’t giving a shit about how he makes her feel. 

elderbee :  

Post # 53
Member
421 posts
Helper bee

Is anyone else wondering what the gift actually was?

Post # 56
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

Happy news!

Post # 57
Member
12 posts
Newbee

Forgive my snarkiness, but I can’t resist: 

Hahaha. Take it back to the store, get a refund and then buy what you really want. When he asks, “Where’s your purse?” or “Where did you get that new purse?” tell him you exchanged the one he bought for you because it wasn’t your style (and you thought you made that clear to him) and that you know that he wants to make you happy, so you exchanged it yourself so as not to inconvenience him. hahahaha. 

That’s “passive-aggressiveness” back in his face. 

 

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