(Closed) Found naked pics of so on his phone :(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m sorry, but something is really wrong here. Telling another woman that she is beautiful, reminiscing about past sexual experiences together, allowing her to confide and lean emotionally on him while he is in a relationship with you and obviously hiding their conversations by deleting the messages, not to mention naked pics that never made it to your inbox? Sounds like cheating to me. They may not be doing anything physical *yet*, but to me… that is still cheating. My advice would be to tell him this is making you uncomfortable and if he doesn’t want to accomidate you then you should seriously reevaluate your relationship. My ex did something similar. Not even as obvious, really. Just deleted texts, her confiding in him about her relationship and him confiding in her about ours. Long story short, he has been dating her for over two years now. 

On the bright side I have found someone that always puts my needs first, regardless. You deserve someone that puts you first, someone you can trust. 

Trust your gut. 

Post # 34
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

It didn’t sound suspicious to me until I read about the Facebook messages. For the record I take and send pictures of such a nature to my SO. Sometimes I send them, then sometimes I’ll look at them and think they’re stupid, or feel self conscious about them so I won’t send them. Then they’ll sit in my phone for awhile because I forget about them. Once in awhile I will go through my phone to delete pictures to make space and will delete these pictures. I could see how it would be weird if my boyfriend saw them on my phone, but didn’t receive them and then saw that they had been deleted later. But that’s just me and my actions. I would talk to him about why it is making you nervous and uncomfortable 🙂

Post # 35
Member
9478 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would have a serious sit down talk with him.  Tell him how you’re feeling.  Show him the hurt and emotions going through you right now.  You may get the answer you’re looking for.

Post # 37
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ultimately the decision to trust him or not is up to you. I had things like that happen all the time with my ex-husband. Very suspicious behavior but I chose to believe him and trust him. In the end I was the naive one. He was lying and eventually online chats and messages became a full fledged affair . . . and more than one. Safe to say I left him and we divorced but if things like this are popping up now, especially with the texts and nude photos, I would be wary.

Post # 38
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Always, ALWAYS trust your gut. If he used to send you pictures when you were in the infatuation stage, something tells me he’s in that stage again… with someone else. If he had nothing to hide, he wouldn’t have deleted the pictures.

Post # 39
Member
11259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@BewilderedBee:  He said he just feels bad because she’s a great girl and deserves to be happy.  what, and you don’t??

Post # 40
Member
9939 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@BewilderedBee:   Ask him how he would feel about it if you were talking and texting and leaving messages on FB with another man in the exact same manner as he’s carrying on with this girl.  (And sending naked pics back and forth of each other’s pieces and parts, he certainly has some naked pics of her somewhere, I’ll bet.)

The more naive you are about this (making excuses for him), the easier it is for him to continue getting away with it.  You know something is wrong here and you’re afraid to confront him. That says a lot about your relationship right there.  You should never be afraid to talk to your SO about anything.  If he knows his talking and texting this girl hurts you that should be reason in itself enough for him to stop doing it.  He’s being extremely disrespectful of you and your relationship.

Post # 41
Member
9478 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@BewilderedBee:  You’re entitled to express your feelings.  He is your Fiance.  

View original reply
mypinkshoes – said it best:  He said he just feels bad because she’s a great girl and deserves to be happy.  what, and you don’t??

…You could bring that up to him.  

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to him face to face then write him an e-mail or letter.  It does help tons.

Post # 42
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@BewilderedBee:  A therapist once told me that it’s our job as partners in a relationship to behave in ways that make our SO feel confident and good and aren’t suspicious.  It is wrong to do things that make you question his dedication.  I think it is fair for you to bring up to him the facebook messages.  I’m not saying you should tell him “you need to end all communication with her.”  I am saying you should let him know his relationship with her makes you uncomfortable and you’re looking to him to do what he needs to do to give you reassurance that it’s truly platonic.

Post # 44
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

She knows we’re engaged and doesn’t really say anything inappropriate, but I’ve seen messages from him to her, talking about how great she is and how beautiful she is. When I asked him about it, he says he’s just trying to make her feel better because her self esteem is so low.


This concerns me way more than the naked pics, although that’s weird if he hasn’t sen them to you in a really long time. So he’s just trying to build up her self-esteem. Right. OKEY DOKEY.

Post # 46
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

There would be one helluva fight at my house.  And I’d either get to the bottom of it, or he’d be hitting the door.  But I’m kind of aggressive about cheaters.  I’ve never had even the tiniest mistrust in my Fiance but if I did, I’d call him on it in a heartbeat.

The topic ‘Found naked pics of so on his phone :(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors