Post # 437
“Freeing”–what a great way to put it. You’re right, it is freeing to be with a trustworthy man. You simply don’t waste a lot of your time and energy trying to figure out where he is, has been, is doing, was doing. You just live your life and have your relationship.
Post # 438
@Asia: Here’s a problem…. He said he wanted a threesome. 3 people knew about this, your So, Brett, and Kansas girl. There’s 3 people.
The only person to not know? You. The only person he hid this from? You (and maybe Kansas)
This is exactly what I was thinking!!
My ex was a big fat cheater, and did it way many more times than I ever found out. I mean after I just kept hearing more and more stories, he even got a girl pregnant and was “there for her” through her abortion. Just gross. But I had invested so much time, and my confidence just kept getting broken down so I tried to fix it despite the cheating. Even after he told me I should probably get tested since he “might have an STD…ooops”, thank god I didn’t!
I just never thought I would be able to leave, but in the end I did. I went back a couple times for barely a day before realizing I was making a mistake and this wasn’t what I wanted. In the end it was all about me needing to realize what I was worth.
@Dizbee Then I met my current SO. Not only do I have no worries, it never crosses my mind that he might stray. … I was paranoid all the time and hated it. Now I’m completely relaxed and comfortable and trusting, no nagging thoughts or worries, nothing. You have no idea how good that feels until it happens to you. And it can happen to you…but not in your current relationship.
This is so true. I was a nervous snoop, but now I have all the trust in the world for my SO. He would never hurt me like this nor would he tolerate me disrepecting him.
Post # 439
Hey, I’m a little late to the update on this thread, but thought it worthwhile to chime in. OP, I am so sorry for all your loss and heartache. I think a lot of bees are being a little harsh on you, but its likely because they’ve experienced similar situations in their pasts. I have too. Just wanted to say that whether things work out or not with you and your Fiance, you are not rejected from this community and its not your job to justify your choices to us. I am sure this is hard enough without feeling ridiculed and shamed. I am sure you could use a lot of support right now, so if you decide not to return to this forum, please confide in a trusted friend or family member. Its so easy to shut down and feel ashamed to tell others. Don’t. Everyone has struggles in their relationships and everyone needs counsel and support. I wish you peace and strength and commend your honest with everyone here.
Feel free to PM me if you need a listening (reading?!) ear. 🙂
Post # 440
Any update, OP? Very curious as to how you are doing. Hope you’ve been better since your last post & that you were able to benefit from seeking professional help. Wishing you the best of luck
Post # 441
@BewilderedBee: Wow and also the fact that he responded to the picture messages so quickly with his own pictures shows that he had no moment of thinking “wait, this might be a really horrible thing to do to my fiance”.
Post # 442
@pookiesmom: Wow, you sure nailed it with that post! I can’t think of a single thing to say that can top that one for zeroing in on the essence of the problem here . . .
Post # 443
Sooo did you guys get married?