Post # 1
Just a little vent although I am very happy and excited. Found out today that one of my friends is pregnant which was surprising because they’d always said that they didn’t want to have kids. But his brother and sister both had kids this year so I think that’s what changed their minds.
I honestly felt a little twinge of “wish it was me too” but it was mostly just happy for them. I told my husband via text on my way to an event. Also told him that I suspected my best friend is pregnant. Lo and behold as soon as I got there she pulled me aside and let me know that she is pregnant.
Super excited for her and I know that they’ve been trying for a little while -I hate though that I also have this little twinge of “I wish I was also pregnant.” I’m definitely not sad or angry I know that our time will come but I still have this feeling of a lot of people are pregnant around me and I’m still not. Three family members or close friends have announced in past few weeks and two in one day – I found out within an hour of each other -has got to be some sort of record!
I’m 5 DPO now so who knows it could be our month and if not we already have a very fun weekend planned next week for Valentine’s Day which will be a start of a new cycle and time for us to celebrate our marriage and our life and what lies in front of us.
Post # 2
I definitely understand. I just found out today that one of my cousins is pregnant with their second “oops” baby. I’m totally baffled. I just want to pull her aside and be like “how does that even happen?!” We’ve been trying for 6 months, and it gets harder each month. Hang in there!
Post # 3
MsYankee: Just wanted to send you some internet hugs. I can understand needing to vent. And that sinking feeling when it seems like everyone around you is getting pregnant and you’re still trying.
Darling Husband and I tried for a really, really long time before we were able to get pregnant. In the time that we were trying (although we hadn’t ever told anyone that we were trying), several of our close friends got pregnant. A couple of them even got pregnant TWICE in the time we were trying. My Brother-In-Law and (now ex) SIL also had two kids during the time Darling Husband and I were trying. That was the worst, because she is competitive in a not-so-nice way, and she really made me feel even worse about it. It was hard being happy for all of these other people when I felt sad. It wasn’t that I wasn’t happy for them — I was! But I still felt sad and felt like I had to hide that. Plus, it was super hard having everyone ask us, “So when are you guys going to start trying for kids?”
Anyhow, I guess I’m just trying to say I understand how you feel and to send you some internet support. Trying and waiting is so hard, but, once it happens, it will be fabulous and just perfect. *hugs*
Post # 4
jammer62: thank you!<br />
longtimemrs: thanks, I’ll take the hugs! It’s almost like I feel worse for feeling this way than sad we’re not pregnant yet (does that makes sense?) she’s only 11 weeks so I’m really hoping we’ll be pregnant in the next few months so we can be pregnant together even for a short time!
Post # 5
Hugs!! My SIL is 5 months pregnant and my other SIL has the single most charming two year old little boy I’ve ever met. Being around them makes my ovaries weep. Try to stay positive throughout this and keep on trying!!
Post # 6
Two c my friends have gotten pregnant since we’ve been trying as well. It sucks. I thought we’d be pregnat together. The worst was shopping for a baby shower gift for one of them on the same day I got my period. I just wanted to cry in the store. The other friend is having her shower at the end of the month…hoping I have my BFP by then!
Post # 7
PonytailKim: thank you! I am trying to stay positive! It was just a lot with finding out one after another today within an hour!!
gonatgo: thank you, good luck to you too!!! hope we both get BFPs soon!!
Post # 8
I totally get out how you feel. A lot of ladies around here have seen my venting. Many friends and family members got pregnant this last year, either as an oops or on their first try. It’s an interesting mix of emotions: happiness, excitement, and a bit of disappointment.
It’s okay though, we’ll get to join them soon!
Post # 9
MsYankee: Don’t feel bad for feeling this way!! It’s just natural to be jealous and sad – I don’t think there’s anyone on this board that’s been trying for a while that hasn’t gone through it! There’s always that element of “happy for them, sad for me” when someone gets pregnant and you’re trying. I hope your turn comes very soon! Just let yourself feel sad without any guilt about it, and the happiness/joy for the others will come. Sending you hugs and good wishes.
Post # 11
Oh man, that is tough! I think anyone in that position would feel some jealousy and resentment, so that is totally understandable. We have been trying for about 5 months, but I’m not even ovulating so we have a long road ahead. Thankfully for me, most of my close friends aren’t even married so I don’t have to worry about them announcing any time soon.
Post # 12
MsYankee: i totally feel your pain!! none of my good friends are pregnant (2 best friends not even married) but my my SIL’s son just turned 1 and i know she’ll be trying again soon. we are very close in age and got married within months of each other, and although we love each other i feel there is always the “comparison” game going on (or maybe it’s in my own head?) anyway, i adore my nephew but lately, when i see him, i get sad because he is already over a year and we still don’t have our first, so it just reminds me of that. we didnt start trying at the same time as my brother and his wife (they got pregnant right after their wedding and we purposely waited over a year to start trying) but she still got pregnant on her first or second shot and here i am, 5-6 months in…. no bfp yet. if she announces her second pregnancy before i’m even pregnant with my first i know it will be very difficult at all of our various family functions and events.
i really hope this is your month. on the bright side, you will have good friends with little ones around the same time you’ll likely have your own, so there is that to look forward to 🙂
Post # 13
Aww, I totally get that feeling of “happy for you, but sad for me.” I hope this is your month!
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
I hope this is your month! I know how you feel. I can’t seem to connect to my SIL’s pregnancy… I am just jealous and sad that in the span of three years, they met, married and got pregnant where for me, it’s wait, wait, wait some more. Before it was waiting to get married, then waiting to sell our home and buy a new home, and now it’s waiting for mother nature to kick in. Most days I am okay, but last night I was drunk and he told me that she called to say she’s having a boy, and she’s decorating the room, and all I could think about was the completely empty room beside our bedroom which is meant to be a nursery.
Post # 15
vanike: jetsetbee: jily: RunnerBride13: krystalite: KatieBklyn: thank you, you all are so sweet! I’m much better today, it was just a lot to take all at once. Especially because Darling Husband has been having some issues performing frequently while TTC (this cycle we had some issues) and so there’s already this pressure on us from that.
One good thing that came from all this is Darling Husband and I had a conversation with my parents and brother about us trying. Darling Husband and I have kept it a secret from everyone but we keep getting all of the “it’s time for you to have a baby”, “when are you guys having kids?” and that was adding even more pressure while we were trying and nothing was happening so we did let them know that we are working on it but we would appreciate it if they just leave us alone about it for now and we will let them know when we do finally get pregnant.
That alone seemed to take a big load off of Darling Husband and I because although we wanted it to be a surprise and not let anyone know we were officially trying it ended up being pretty stressful because we kept having to hear it from a lot of people all the while we were trying and being unsuccessful. So now that at least my family (the worst with the pressure) will back off a little and hopefully that will allow us to try to stay a little more relaxed throughout this process.
I remember how anxious I was while waiting to get engaged and this is on a whole new level…. Once we are pregnant I’m sure I will forget all of this anxiousness in waiting because it’ll all be worth it!