Post # 1
So I knew I would be thrown a shower by my aunts, because it happened for my cousins. My Maid/Matron of Honor and I were talking about getting together in August and she mentioned how we couldn’t do it the weekend of my shower. I told her that I didn’t know when the shower was, so not to tell me anything more about it. That ended that.
Well then I told my mom that my Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t know it was a surprise, so whomever was passing that info on to people needed to make that clear. My mom talked to my aunt (it seems) and my cousin then messaged my Maid/Matron of Honor basically bitching about ruining the surprise. At this point, it didn’t really ruin anything.
THEN, my Maid/Matron of Honor tells me how my cousin was ticked off because now I would be suspicious of any invitation I get for August for something else, because now I would know it’s my shower. I definitely didn’t need to know that. I am SO ticked off at my Maid/Matron of Honor for saying ANYTHING – once she knew it was a surprise, she should have kept her mouth SHUT. She was ticked off at my family (somehow she blamed me for “family drama”…but uh, I’m not supposed to know anything) so somehow she felt it was ok to tell me this.
I gave my Maid/Matron of Honor a piece of my mind her stupid behavior and didn’t tell anyone in the family what I’d been told.
So I got an invite today for my uncle’s retirement party with a note of “no gifts please” on it, and I have a feeling this is to throw me off for my shower. I am SO bummed that I know anything, but it’s not like I can say “Hey! I know about your surprise!”
I’m just so bummed that the surprise was ruined.
Sorry for the vent. UGH!!
Post # 3
it sucks the surprise was ruined, but I would be grateful I was getting a shower and people cared so much to throw one for me!
Post # 4
I think you may be overreacting here. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is spending her time to plan a party with your family after all. Just because you can’t be surprised any more doesn’t mean the party isn’t happening or that people didn’t spend their time planning for you. Take a breather and reevaluate what’s really important. You said it yourself, you knew it would be happening. She just narrowed the time frame for you but honestly you still don’t know the exact date. So what’s the harm?
Post # 5
I think you owe your Maid/Matron of Honor an apology. She already got bitched out by your family, even when she didn’t tell you anything, and now she’s been bitched out for telling you it might be in August.
Who cares if you know when it is. Everything else will still be a surprise, and hey, as Hikergirl08 said, just be happy people love you enough to give you one!
Post # 6
I agree with PP’s, you were harsh on your Maid/Matron of Honor. It seems like it was a mistake, and being chewed out by your cousin was enough don’t ya think? Sure it sucks that you pretty much know, but like PP said, won’t it still be a surprise?
I know the date of my shower, and the time. That’s it. I know my Grandma has been planning it for a year and hides the decorations every time I go over, so to me my shower is very much a “surprise shower”. I’m excited that she’s planning it without any of my help, and WANTS to.
Sorry if I’m coming off as rude, but c’mon, lighten up. If that’s the most you know then who cares
Post # 7
You knew you were getting a shower, so nothing has been ruined except the date.. and really wouldn’t you rather know the date at least so you can wear something cute and have a gift ready for the hostess? 😉
Post # 8
I also think you owe your Maid/Matron of Honor a major apology. What she said really was NOT that bad at all. Plus, it seems like you DID know you were having a bridal shower, so what’s the big deal about knowing that it’s in august?
Post # 9
For the record, Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t planning anything – she’s just supposed to show up. My aunts and cousins are doing all of it.
I think that’s where my main frustration comes from – Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t planning any of it and other people are really bending over backwards for it, and she ruined the surprise. I feel bad for the people who are going out of their way to make this a surprise and now it’s not. I wouldn’t mind it if it wasn’t meant to be a surprise. I have thrown surprise parties before (including for MOH) and I know how excited I get over keeping it a surprise and fooling the person.
And as far as giving her a piece of my mind, I really just told her to NOT tell me anything else. My cousin apologized to her once she found out about what my Maid/Matron of Honor really said originally.
I’m grateful we’re having a shower. I’m even luckier that we have so many people that love us and support us.
Post # 10
Well, if you actually show your disappointment that would make it much more worse than your Maid/Matron of Honor accidentally spilling the beans.
Post # 11
You were the one who should have been quiet. Your Maid/Matron of Honor made an innocent remark and you ran with it.
You owe your Maid/Matron of Honor an apology. The previous posters are right.
Post # 12
Sorry, I think you are overreacting, and I do agree, you owe her an apology. These things don’t come out of the blue expensewise, and things slip. You have to give your bridal party room to make mistakes, just as you will make mistakes. Just lighten up and enjoy this time, because nothing can be again repeated!
Post # 13
I also agree with the pps.
It souds like you were originally a little miffed that your Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t the one planning the party. Do you know what went on there? Why she didn’t plan it? (The shower was supposed to be a surprise, right?) I’m just thinking if you knew your aunts were planning a surprise shower, because they’ve done it for your cousins, why would your Maid/Matron of Honor plan one too? Maybe she offered and they turned her down. Maybe she felt out of place and backed down.
And I kind of feel bad for her. She didn’t know the party was a surprise. Your family apparently, didn’t make that known to her. Yet felt they could chew her out for it. If they were such experienced party planners, and that was such an important detail, wouldn’t they have made sure she knew? So then upset for being yelled at by ppl she probably doesn’t really know, she turns to you. And tells you about the the “other invitation”. Maybe she shouldn’t have… But 1) if she wasn’t doing any of the planning, your cousin probably should have kept her mouth shut and not told your Maid/Matron of Honor about the invitations. 2) your Maid/Matron of Honor might have thought that at this point you would have naturally been suspicious of the “other invitation”, (and I think you probably would have) 3) It probably would have been wiser for the surprise party planners to have just changed their game plan at that point, and not send you a false invitation. It really wouldn’t have been hard to simply have a friend or family member just ask you if you wanted to go shopping or to lunch or something, as a way to lure you to the location.
So it sounds to me like the ppl planning the party made some mistakes and blew it out of proportion more so than Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 14
I still don’t see how the surprise is ruined, and I still think you are overreacting.
Post # 15
I blew a surprise bridal shower for the bride the night before the shower. I was also one of the bridesmaids. The Maid/Matron of Honor and mom had planned it to be a surprise and DID NOT TELL ME. So whose fault is that? You should lighten up on your Maid/Matron of Honor – she probably feels horrible and attacked, and she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor afterall, so isn’t she a good friend of yours?
Post # 16
Yup, sorry – going to agree with pp. You definitely owe your Maid/Matron of Honor an apology. I feel really bad for her!! I do not see how your surprise is ruined at all? You already knew it was happening, so it wasn’t a total surprise?