(Closed) Found out FI cheated :(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
Member
1457 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

It’s a new day! How are you feeling? Did you talk at all? Any updates?

Post # 80
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Any updates?

Post # 82
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Sorry…but the fact that he keeps lying to you and keeps telling you to drop it makes it sound like he’s mad at you for finding out. That would not be cool with me. 

I think you need space from him more than just a day of not talking. Take a few days and not talk to him. I don’t know if I’d be able to get over this. Kissing a girl and having sex with her are two completely different things. And you have an email from him saying that he had sex with the girl. I don’t know if I’d be able to get over that. 

What did he say today when you talked to him? Did he tell you to drop it again?

Post # 84
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@mandy102:  it sounds like you are dealing with this well but I am concerned because with your short replies I feel that you have already forgiven him and plan to just move on from this. I really hope that you have thought this through. Never forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness….

Post # 85
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mandy102:  Hey honey…I just saw this post and wanted to say I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.

I know you’ve already started conversations and are already working on this, but I just wanted to share my two cents.  If you found e-mails, that means your trust was already waivering.  People read one another’s e-mails when they are suspicious.  Think long and hard about the chances of ever returning to a healthy trusting relationship when suspicions have already been proven. 

Keep your head up and remember that you deserve nothing but love, respect, and kindess!!

Post # 86
Member
6117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am so sorry!  To the ladies that shared their experiences, I’m so sorry that you went through that aas well.

 

Honestly, if you two are only dating or engaged, I’d break it off. The good long lasting relationships don’t have a crack this big in the foundation.  You need a good solid foundation if the rest of the years are going to be good.

If it were 15 years into a marriage, that was pretty good before this, then I’d might try to do some saving/therapy.  Maybe.

Post # 87
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

He should be doing the work to make you feel better about him and you.  He sounds like he’s  being a tool.  I had an ex-fi that we were in an LDR and he was shipping out to the Middle East. He felt it was his right to eff anything with a heartbeat before he left.  I was devistated and he made me feel like it was all my fault, if i’d just move to germany and wait for him. jerk face. 

Sounds like you have the opportunity to take a good hard long look at your relationship.  Do you feel safe?  I mean it, are you CARED FOR? does he make you feel important … does he listen …  if not get the hell out.  It’s scary to be alone … but .. BUT it’s  better than being a doormat for the rest of your life.  your not a broken person now, you will find love again.

Post # 89
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@HisIrishPrincess:  Agreed.  You can be lonely in a relationship, too. 

The topic ‘Found out FI cheated :(’ is closed to new replies.

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