(Closed) Found out fiance invited 2 girls he's slept with to our wedding

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 107
Hostess
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

View original reply
@jaia07:  he doesn’t allow me to have my male friends.

Are you sure there aren’t bigger issues here? 

Post # 108
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Some people are obviously reading the first few sentences of your original post without reading the rest, and it’s also extremely rude to minimize her feelings as an overreaction just because you have different views. She has said he WOULD MIND if the shoe was on the other foot and that they’re also invited to her BABY SHOWER – that is just weird and icky all around. Hunny go with your gut instincts, especially since he wouldn’t want anyone you slept with at the wedding or shower. Thank goodness my Fiance and I agree on this topic, we like to leave the past in the past. 

Post # 109
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
@jaia07:  That he does not allow you to have male friends and is still friends with women he slept with would make me angry too. There will be two people at my wedding I have been intimate with my fiance knows about both and one is in the bridal party. Their SO’s are also invited. If he wanted to invite someone he was intimate with in the past and was still friends with I wouldn’t care. But your Fiance is making rules that benefit him and hiding stuff from you. I would get into couples counceling because it is wrong for him to dictate who you can and can not be friends with when he does not respect you enough to abide by those same rules.

Post # 110
Member
14158 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I know the OP seems to have resolved the situation with her Fiance.  At least I hope she has.  But for those who say it’s “immature” that people can’t see past a continued  connection to a former romantic partner, there are many people who cling to former relationships  who are either stuck in the past or  lying to themselves or their SOs about what they are really getting from the relationship. There can  be issues around letting go, moving forward, saying good bye, fear of abandonment etc. that are in no way healthy or “mature.”

Wanting to move  forward in life  with boundaries is not  a bad thing. If having dinner by yourself with a former lover is your cup of tea, that’s fine, go right ahead. But it’s not for everyone and it doesn’t diminish those who feel it is not a great or necessary thing, no matter how nice of a guy or woman the ex may be. Maturity has nothing to do with it. 

Post # 111
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree thats its shady that he invited those girls without asking you. I had several ex boyfriends (all of whom I’d slept with in the past) but I asked my DH if he was alright with that (he was). I even had one in our wedding party. I’m confused why he’d try to hide it from you, its your wedding, you’re going to find out who has been invited!

Post # 112
Member
3268 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@HisBride515:  

 

+1 If the OP’s fiance is not comfortable with her having male friends, he should NOT invite women he has slept with before to the wedding. That is a double standard and total lack of regard for being fair. 

I could see being a friends with an ex, but not if it makes a current partner very uncomfortable. It is about respect for feelings. 

Too many women put up with blatant disrespect, all in the name of seeming “secure” or “cool”. Sometimes that leads to so called “female friends” making a play for the men who are involved with “secure” wives.

 

 

 

 

Post # 113
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@jaia07

Your Fiance was disrespectful in inviting those girls and witholding informaiton like that from you but I’m going to go a little off topic here and ask you how would your Fiance feel if he knew that you are disclosing his sexual history/health for the whole world to see? You have posted pictures of the two of you in other posts, what if someone were to find you on this site.. would it bother him that they found out he has had an STD? 

Post # 113
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
jaia07:  Fiance and I both keep exes in the past and have no contact, we also haven’t asked each other our number or who our exes were.  It works because we both share this view, and while I probably would have accepted a past hook up as one of his friends if they were good friends still when he and I met, I would have hoped for full disclosure from the beginning.  I’d be livid if someone was in our circle of friends and I didn’t know that history.  So I think you are right in being mad, and I wouldn’t want them at a destinaton wedding either!

Post # 114
Member
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
jaia07:  The part of this that isn’t cool is that he did it behind your back, presumably because he knew you would be unhappy about it.

The individual circumstances of their current friendships may or may not make it appropriate to invite them (in a normal, overt fashion).

Post # 116
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
jaia07:  I’m so sorry about your daughter and I hope you’re getting the support you need. 

Post # 117
Member
9565 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
jaia07:  I am so sorry for your loss. 

The topic ‘Found out fiance invited 2 girls he's slept with to our wedding’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors