Post # 1
It’s my first post here! I joined because I really need some support from other brides who can understand what I’m going through here. My fiance and I are getting married in late September, and we have friends who are getting married in late August. This weekend, I found out that our friend who is getting married in late August and I are planning to wear the same dress. At first, I was able to laugh about it, but later found myself crying! I love my dress and I’ve been excited to wear it all along, but now it suddenly feels as if the thrill is gone. I’m not even excited to wear it anymore. I’ve told myself that most people won’t notice and I should just go ahead and wear it, but I’m also considering buying a new dress used or at a discounted price online and trying to sell my original dress. Am I just being silly? Should I go ahead and wear the dress anyway? I guess I’m worried that I won’t feel as special or our day won’t feel as special.
I should mention that the dresses are in different colors – hers is white/white and mine is ivory/champagne. There will probably be about twenty or so people that attend both of our weddings, a few of whom are in both wedding parties.
I’m so anxious to hear what you all think. Thank you for taking the time to read this and respond!
Post # 3
I would be upset but there is a reason you fell in love with that dress! Like you said, most people at your wedding will not be at hers and vice versa and I doubt many will really notice. To be honest, I don’t even really remember specifics about all of my friends dresses anyway so no one will remember. Don’t give up a dress you love just because you’re worried about what others think!
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. Your dress will look different because of the color change; plus you have different bodies, which will affect the silhouette of the dress. Your hair, flowers, makeup, jewelry, and shoes will be different. People outside the wedding party probably won’t notice unless you say something about it. As for your guests in the wedding party, even if they realize it’s the same style, it’s not like you’ll look any less special to them. You’ll be a beautiful bride in a beautiful dress and they’ll be taking in the whole picture, not the details on your dress. Any guys involved probably think all wedding dresses look the same anyway.
Post # 5
I agree with PP! Don’t give up on your dress.
Since you will be at her wedding before yours, you could make an effort to style yours differently than she does hers. A different sash, a different bustle, different headpiece, etc. these are ways you could make yours feel a lot different than hers.
I agree that I don’t usually remember a lot of details from a brides dress, just the overall feel of her entire look. Make it your own and don’t look back!
Post # 6
Don’t worry about it! Like you said, the dresses are different colors! They will fit each of you so differently that I’m sure people won’t even notice that they are the same dress! If it’s something you love- rock it! There’s a reason you picked it. You shouldn’t sway on the dress of your dreams because someone else has the same one. Take it as validation that you picked a fabulous dress!
Post # 7
Honestly, I doubt anyone will notice. I went to a wedding recently and although I thought the bride’s gown was GORGEOUS and I spent some time admiring it, if you lined her dress up with a few others that were slightly similar, I doubt I’d be able to correctly choose hers.
Post # 8
With only 20 guests in common, I honestly don’t think anyone will notice! And your hair, makeup, veil, flowers, accessories will all be different. Honestly, don’t fret and don’t stress. You loved your dress before, don’t let this change your feelings or excitement!
Post # 9
Have you ever seen those “Who wore it best” pages in the fashion mags. They show two celebs wearing the same dress, but it never looks the same because they are on different people and accessorize it differently.
You may have the same dress but it will look very different on the two of you. Youll have different venues, hair, body, jewelry etc.
And even those 20 guests in common may not notice. I went to two weddings with the same dress and I didnt notice. I only found out it was the same dress because one girl was looking at a picture of the other girl at my house.
Post # 10
I think you should wear your dress! You fell in love with it for a reason and you will wear it your own way. I’m so sorry that this is stressful and it would bum me out, too. But, I really don’t think 99% of people would realize it was the same dress- just probably note that it was a similar overall style.
Post # 11
Yes, go ahead and wear your dress anyway. Breathe. You will look fabulous and special and nothing is going to change that fact.
Post # 12
@mrsSonthebeach: Took the words right out of my mouth!
Post # 13
Thank you all so much! I feel a lot better about the situation already. I really like the idea about styling my dress differently. I have my first alterations appointment in a couple weeks; maybe I will see if there are any subtle ways they can alter the dress (neckline, etc.) just to make it a little more unique to my style. I think that would also give me some more peace of mind about everything.
Post # 14
I agree with PP, it’s highly unlikely that people will even notice it’s the same. I’ll be completely honest with you though. If it were me, I would still wear it if I felt like it was going to look about the same or better on me than my friend. If I thought the dress was going to look better on my friend, I would choose something different. I know that sounds awful, but I wouldn’t want to be on the losing end of one of those “who wore it best” deals like ThreeMeers mentioned.
Post # 15
Don’t give up your dress! They aren’t the same color, so they aren’t the same dress. They’re going to look completely different. Honestly, they will.
Look at it this way… both of you must have excellent taste in dresses!!!!
Post # 16
When I got married my friend and I who were getting married two weeks apart didn’t know until my wedding that we had the same dress. We also had the same group of friends and not one of them ever noticed we had the same dress. You forget that dresses look different on each girl. Seriously they can look like a completely different dress. I understand why you could be initially upset but try to let it go. I will be a great day!