(Closed) Found out my family invited 180 more people to wedding…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@jessicaashley:  I would tell your father that you cannot afford to feed or seat them and that since he is responsible for inviting them, then he is responsible for either taking care of them, calling and cancelling the invitatiion, or turning them away.

Post # 4
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Wow. I can only imagine how you are feeling, planning a wedding is overwhelming enough but thats pure insanity. If I were you I would try to confront your father (as calmy as you can). Explain that the guests you and your fiance invited were invited because of the part they played in your and your fiances life and are important to the two of you. Ask him why he did what he did and who he expected to pay for the last minute invites. If they must attend (for whatever reason he may have) try to reach a compromise with him; he pay for the uninvited guests, they only attend the reception etc. I am so so sorry this is happening to you!  

Post # 5
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I would tell your dad that he has three options at this point:

1) Cover the cost of his additional guests, including any damage to the lawn from that many people or any last minute additional vendors or costs.

2) Pay for security to politely turn away anyone not on your original list, explaining that you have already surpassed the maximum legal capacity for the venue.

3) Have him call everyone individually and explain his screw up.

I would be furious! He needs to take care of it for sure. How many people did your grandmother invite? I feel bad for her and her guets if your dad misled her about it being okay to invite people. It may just be worth sucking it up for her, assuming she didn’t know what was going on.  

Post # 6
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

can you move the wedding? If I was in your shoes I would see if I could borrow someone elses yard and not tell Dad til an hour before but then again I am a brat. Sorry you are in this mess 🙁

Post # 7
Hostess
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Cappugcino:  +1

 

 

Ugh… I cannot even imagine being in that situation.  I would be so LIVID!

Post # 8
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You poor thing, I don’t know how I would handle it. I guess demand your dad cough up money for seating and feeding HIS guests or he needs to get on the phone now! That’s one of the most inconsiderate things I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry!

Post # 10
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wow. Put your foot down and tell him to either fork over the money or disinvite those people. That’s awful and so stressful! 

Post # 11
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Where are all of these people going to park? I honestly think it’s time to get security to ask people to leave. This is going to be a disaster if you let univited guests in the door. Also, what about bathrooms? I can’t imagine many backyard venues that could accomodate 300 people.

Post # 12
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

security! Let your dad explain why they were turned away

Post # 13
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Seriously, I would move the location and not tell him and only tell the 120 guests. 

ETA:  Where did he get the invites from????

Post # 15
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You need to go to your father and explain that there’s no room to accomodate more people and that if he wants to invite them, he’s going to have to pony up the cash.  If he doesn’t, ask him to call and uninvite people and explain that he wasn’t in a place to invite people.

Post # 16
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the PP who said to get security.  I would have a security person with a list. If you’re not on the list, so sorry, but you can’t come.  Your dad has lost his damn mind.  If he is embarrassed by his guests being turned away, oh well.  Maybe he’ll think before he goes behind someone’s back & invites people to a shindig he isn’t paying for.

I’m so sorry that this is happening to you… you really don’t deserve to feel this way about your own wedding day.  I hope that it all works out.

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