(Closed) Found out something about an old friend, not inviting him to the wedding.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Is your date correct? He may have already bought a plane ticket if he was coming from CA. I mean, I wouldn’t want this jerk face at the wedding either, but just a thought.

Like another bee said, your invites should have been sent out already if your date is correct, but if they haven’t been don’t invite him.

Post # 18
Member
2152 posts
Buzzing bee

@This Time Round:  Can you please as self appointed etiquette snob direct me to any authority that has sad it is ok to not send an invite after an STD?  I haven’t been able to find one.  So hopefully you have something.

You have asked him to save the date, which he presumably is.  How is ok to now just not follow through on your committment and just not follow up?  I don’t see anything polite in that.

Though if the OP is determined to not invite him (though I think she should stay out of other people’s relationship) I think she at least owes him the decency to let him know he is free to release the date, and that no invitation will be forthcoming.

 

 

Post # 19
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Nope, I wouldn’t send the invite.

Post # 20
Member
557 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsTVLover:  

View original reply
@MapleCreekBride:  

View original reply
@somethingaquamarine:  

I think most women would want to know because after 4-5 years dating, they were likely sexually involved, and there’s the potential for STDs if her partner was cheating. It’s not about trying to hurt a friend with useless info. It’s about trying to protect her by sharing something that could end up being very important to her health.

Post # 21
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

@bunnymama:  Where’s the potential for STD’s when the relationship ended many years ago? Either she caught soemthing THEN and its been dealt with. And clearly she would have known who she caught it from. Or she wasn’t exposed to a STD.

 

Post # 22
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@bunnymama:  That’s a good point. Sorry, I did not consider that aspect.

Post # 23
Member
557 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@bklynbridetobe:  There are lots of things like HIV that can lay dormant for years before a person ever experiences symptoms. I’m not saying everybody would want to know, but lots of people would appreciate knowing so they could get tested.

Post # 24
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@bunnymama:  I am willing to bet that is not the reason OP told her, but I don’t think it applies years later.  Surely she’s been to a doctor since then.

This same situation happened to me.  My friend told me in August.  In October I was her maid of honor.  In November, we ended the relationship over her telling me.  I just couldn’t see any feasible purpose for her telling me.  

Post # 25
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

@bunnymama:  Well of course, which is is why women should be tested every six months or yearly at least. I was quite shocked years ago with a thread in the bee that most of the women claimed because they were in monogramous relationships, didn’t get tested anymore. Which is just crazy in this day an age.

Speaking of here it is.. http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/spin-off-how-often-do-you-get-tested-for-stds#axzz2RVjPbCVf

 

 

 

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