Post # 91
soymilk : I clapped back, but I didn’t insult her, just pointed out some facts.
Any steparent has to walk a fine line for a while, especially a couple of months after moving in with the kid.
Btw I know a bit about blended families considering I love my stepdad to pieces. But you’re welcome to your opinion too.
Post # 92
franklymydearidont : That is the most ignorant thing I have read in a good while.
“A real mom would…” is highly inappropriate and wrong. Being a step mother is still being a REAL mom and REAL mothers do what they can to protect their families based on THEIR circumstances.
Obviously OPs doctor is not overly concerned or he would not have suggested ripping out carpet and buying humidifiers. If her allergies were severe and untreatable he (THE DOCTOR) would have told her to rehome her pets.
Get off your effing high horse and add a little empathy to your life. You are seriously lacking.
Post # 93
Lovemybowhunter : Sorry bee, but I would close this thread. Most of the bees commenting here are not ones who would feel any sadness if faced with the potential to abandon their pets in your situation. Those of us who would be just as upset have given you so many tips that have worked for us over the years. Ultimately you will know what is best for your family and YOUR child. Good luck, bee!
Post # 94
- Wedding: December 2016 - Sacred Heart Catholic Church
smalltownbigworld : I think franklymydear has empathy towards the child. She is exactly the type of person I would love my ex to meet and marry. She seems like she would love the kid as her own, but understand she is still a stepmom. We do not know the exact conversation that went on with the doctor, but from speculation and personal experience, doctors sometimes say that if the person refuses to get rid of the pet. I heard it, my ex coworker heard it, my bro-in-law heard it, my mom heard it…”if you will not get rid of the animals, these actions will help alleviate (not eliminate) the symptoms.
Post # 95
Allergy medication. There are usually shots they can take. Doesn’t have to be a biggie.
Post # 96
Just wanted to comment again and give you support after these ridiculous “a REAL mom would..” comments. I hope they don’t get under your skin. Everyone just wants to do what’s best for their family, not to have their bloodlines analyzed by anonymous posters.
Has your doctor raised the possibliity of vaccinations?
Post # 97
smalltownbigworld : happyowlbee : My point with the “real mom” comment was that the OP is having more empathy and acting more like a real mom toward the pets than the child. At least from what I have seen in her posts. I thought that was obvious from the furbabies comment.
Smalltownbigworld, I read your previous posts on this topic where you seem to have a lot of empathy for the pets, and much less for the human child who is going to be asked to battle their allergy symptoms or take steriods regularly because OP can’t bear to rehome her pets. Yes pets have feelings too, but they are resilient and adaptive if you find them a good home, just like any animal.
For me, children trump pets every single time. I guess it seems extreme in this group of people, but I honestly never understood why many people are fine with seeing human suffering but not okay with seeing animal suffering.
In this case, many posters are fine with seeing the child suffering on more or less a permanent basis, but not okay with the animals temporarily suffering during the adjustment of being rehomed. I genuinely hope those posters don’t have the same problem because I would make the same “real mom” comment to them too.
Obviously we differ in opinion and life experience. Have a nice day!
ksks1234 : This is the exact relationship I have with my stepfather and I honestly love him so much more for it. There is nothing insulting about being a stepparent, and it honestly rubs me the wrong way when people imply that there is.
Post # 98
Anyway, this discussion seems to be going off course and I don’t want the OP to feel too attacked, so I will refrain from commenting in this thread any longer. I still stand by my original comment people are referencing, but it’s obvious that on a public forum there are many people with different opinions. If you are one of those people, great for you, but I don’t want the thread to get too off-topic.
Post # 99
she’s allergic to trees and pollen.dust too. so I guess I’m supposed to never let her go outside.Some of you are real high and mighty sitting behind a computer. I will do what’s best for my family. my animals and my *step* child. furthermore you don’t know the dynamicstatus of our family so labels shouldn’t have been brought in. it is HIGHLY OFFENSIVE
Post # 100
Lovemybowhunter : A serious comment on the trees & pollen allergies thing. I do try to stay inside & keep windows closed during high pollen season. It’s for a short while each year, but it makes a big difference keeping my allergies in check.
Post # 101
Lovemybowhunter : I don’t want to pile on, but I just read through the whole thread and I think you need to calm down over internet comments. Anyone can post anything they think, but you don’t have to let it make you upset.
I don’t think the analogy between pet allergens and environmental allergens is right. Going outside is necessary to live a normal life, and obviously your daughter should still go outside, but a lot of allergy sufferers, including myself and my Fiance, do try to stay inside on days with the highest pollen count. It makes us more comfortable when we can breathe properly because despite taking medication we both find that our breathing is affected.
I saw you only moved in with your Fiance in the past couple of months, so this is obviously why this is coming up now. I know moving in together is a lot of stress and is hard, and I hope the ongoing transition to living as a family goes okay for all of you.
I personally would rehome the pets, but it sounds like you’re going a different route for now, which you have the power to do, so I wish you good luck.
Post # 102
- Wedding: June 2017 - Country Cottage and Gardens
It sounds like you’re seeking help from a medical professional. If you feel comfortable and confident with them then go with your gut. If they seem to have done everything they can and your daughter is still suffering then rehoming may be the only choice. But you’re not a bad parent if you exhaust all the options, as some are seeming to imply or blatantly say. You’re being a responsible pet owner. Some people dump animals too quickly and there’s unnecessary suffering. Not to mention the benefits of having pets for kids growing up and the emotional repurcussions of getting rid of a pet. I’m sorry that you have to go through all of that! I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to give strong advice either way because we just can’t know the situation. Suggestions on possible solutions are another story…
Post # 103
The suggestion that bees who tell the truth about allergy-induced asthma somehow don’t care about their pets is really offensive.
medical professionals have already attested to in this very thread in warning about the dangers of allergy-induced asthma, which never goes away once a child has it.
reality: life is really hard sometimes and some choices are horrible, but we do them because we have to be responsible for our kids. Breathing matters. Sorry, not sorry.
As for this OP’s child, I hope her child is one of the lucky ones for whom mitigation and shots work.