(Closed) found pictures on my BF's phone

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I personally couldn’t have a future with someone that acted like that while they were committed to me. Just not the quality of person I would look for in a partner/team mate/husband/father to my kids.

Sounds like a Skeever.

Post # 33
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

EW his response is just YUK!!!  would send the convo, pictures to yourself and save the numbers. in that case, if he decides to delete it , you have proof. Once you confront him, if he gives you a bullcrap excuse or denies it…..i would call the females to get more details. These women probably think he is single or whatever. You dont want to marry someone that doesnt value your relationship. Hey better now, than later.

Post # 34
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Set a glass of milk down in front of him and raise an eyebrow to see how he reacts. If asks what its for respond with “Your mother always said you needed more milk”

Post # 35
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@mydeadfriendx:  +1!!!! 

OP, it’s downright disrespectful to you and your relationship. An engagement would not make a difference. He is such a sleazeball for doing that–especially when he is in a committed relationship with you.

Better you found out now than later when you’re married or even weeks before your wedding. He doesn’t deserve you at all.  I’m so so sorry you’re going though this. Big hugs! 

Post # 36
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@mydeadfriendx:  +1     I like your style! 

Post # 38
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I always try to put myself in the other persons shoes. If he went through your phone and found pictures with responses what would he do? Would he be mad? Would be leave you? Ask yourself can you live with this knowledge? Can you trust him again? If not I would say the relationship is doomed.

Post # 39
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Wow, good on you for following your intuition-it never fails! My man has never been sneaky with his phone, he has a super nice Samsung Galaxy Note and its practically a small computer so I’m always playing with it-he definetely doesnt mind, he has nothing to hide.
This man is 34 years old and STILL ACTING LIKE A MAN-CHILD. Thats complete disrespect, and he is definetely NOT ready for an engagement/much less a marriage. IMO, I’d walk. 

Post # 41
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t give him a chance to explain or lie. I’d throw his crap on the porch, with some snarky comment about milk, and change the locks. You have done nothing wrong here, and my response is not intended to come off as insensitive, but you deserve better. Point blank.

Post # 42
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

ewww. 

Have a convo about it if you want, If it were me Id welcome him at the door by tipping a glass of milk over his head. 🙂  

Post # 43
Member
3090 posts
Sugar bee

@sortawaitingbee:  DO NOT LET HIM TURN THIS INTO AN ISSUE OF YOU SNOOPING! Yes it was wrong but obviously he was not one to trust right? I have to say with my current dbf i have not snooped, i feel no need to. i trust him 100% however, i snooped by exs once and i found some texts i shouldnt have. He convinced me it was no big deal but you know what? The feeling to snoop never went away and you know what else? When i looked again i found even more..and worse. I dont believe there is any excuse in the world for him to talk to someone like that unless it was an old friend where they joke around like that  in which case you would know the girl. I hope you bring it up and give him a chance to explain himself, but i probably wouldnt believe the “she is just a friend, its just texting, never hang out with her” business.

 

good luck to you!

Post # 44
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@sortawaitingbee:  I’m a snooper and I think significant others who aren’t open books are generally hiding something, so I’m not going to yell at you for snooping. 

The exact same thing happened with my Fiance a few months after we became bf/gf. I half attempted to look at his phone right in front of him and got a huge reaction out of him about his privacy. Heh. So I told him privacy was for people with something to hide, he disagreed. So his phone was technically off limits, though I never hid the fact that I snoop, I came right out and told him. Well one night he accidentally left his FB logged on on his phone. And he had the same this as your BF, several very inappropriate conversations for a man with a girlfriend. He may not have been actually cheating, but it was still very wrong. You need to talk to him ASAP. Don’t put up with it now or you’ll be putting up with it forever.

ETA: When I told him what I found and he saw how truly upset and hurt I was he told me that he knew he probably shouldn’t be doing that, but it was just talking. But now that he saw how horrible it made me feel he would never do it again and he didn’t.

 

 

Post # 45
Member
3051 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

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@joya_aspera:  haha! I’ve had classmates take pics of power point slides or white board notes instead of taking notes before too! that made me laugh

I’m NOT the type to call these random girls up…I would confront him and judge his reaction. I would be able to tell if my SO was lying though so that would work for me. If nothing else this needs to be strike 1.

Post # 46
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

After you just moved in?  So I am guessing this is not his first rodeo with texting girls if he has enough audacity to do it with you in the same domicile.

PEACE OUT!

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