(Closed) found pictures on my BF's phone

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@joya_aspera:  For real!  What a turd!!!

Post # 48
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

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@RTC_KLC:  +1.

Who cares that you snooped?

Should you have? I don’t know, maybe you had reason to suspect, maybe you didn’t. What I know is that it is a non-issue compared to his utter douchebaggery.

Seriously. Pour the milk over this loser’s head and cut him out of your life. He’s not good enough to waste any more time on.

Post # 49
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@sortawaitingbee:  Warning: immaturity alert. I responded to your post, then took a shower (where all good thoughts happen). So, I originally said that you should make a snarky comment about milk, and I had a great idea. When he gets home, you should ask him “you know the saying, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Well, I have decided the grass is greener on the other side…so get the F*** off my lawn.” : ) 

Post # 50
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@joya_aspera:  Amen! Please see post below yours : )

Post # 51
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@sortawaitingbee:  Before I give you my answer, my question is this…

You’ve been together almost 2 years, you’ve just moved in together…

what are you planning on doing with this information if you find out he’s cheating? If the answer is forgive him and continue living with him, then you don’t need an answer because nothing will change. You can’t change his behavior or make decisions for his life, all you can do is change your behavior or change what you’re doing for YOUR life.

So if it’s a deal breaker and you’re ready to leave TODAY, then confront him. If not? Save yourself the grief.

Post # 52
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

you snopped cause you felt something not right was going on. you cant mess with a woman’s intuition

Post # 53
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@sortawaitingbee:  I went thru the same thing.. we were dating for about a year… I had a weird feeling and snooped in his phone and found the same type of thing… girl txting him topless pictures and way innapropriate sexual messages.  I called him out..and he turned it around on me for snooping.  I dumped him. 

We got back together six months later…and then another six months later I caught him doing the same thing. 

HOWEVER….this was a 25 year old “boy”… not a 34 year old man.. your man should know better by now. 

Post # 54
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It’s definitely crossing boundries for sure… It’s right out disrespectful! Some guys think its ok and it is not! Definitely something that needs to be addressed because it will continue and you will continue to be hurt. I agree with all the others…don’t let him turn this on you to make you look like the guilty one, or the jealous one or the sneaky one. They tend to do that when they get caught with something they know is wrong. It’s called emotional manipulation. There are no excuses in this case. He needs to grow up and confess that he did you wrong, not only that but be sincere with it and never do anything like this again. He needs to genuinely realize how this made you feel. It should hurt him that you have been hurt…and that he caused that hurt. If he sincerely gets it and regrets it, and knows he can lose you over this, then there may be a chance to work it out, but he would have to be an open book…nothing to hide. It takes time to earn trust back. AND he should text that girl -while you are there – to tell her that it was wrong, he has a girlfriend and that they need to cut off communication. But if he gets defensive, makes excuses and turns it on you, then it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship, because that means he has a serious character issue and he will most likely not change because he doesn’t see it as “wrong”. He shouldn’t be choosing attention from other girls or their pictures over you. You should be the priority and protecting your heart should be at the top of his list…not some girl’s picture of her “tata’s”. My rule of thumb…he should never be doing something that he would never do if you were right there with him…especially if you have already communicated how certain actions of his caused you to hurt. It’s not a game he is playing…this is your heart he is dealing with and his future!

But if you feel like you cannot get past this and you need to leave, I would be supportive of that 100%. No girl wants to feel this way and you shouldn’t have to! A real man would not even put you in this situation. He should know what he has in you, and feel like the luckiest guy in the world and build you up. You shouldn’t have to question what girl’s pictures he’s looking at on his phone behind your back. If he is a real man he would respect you at all times when you are there and when you are not.   

<Hugs >

Post # 55
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

he sounds like a massive douche (my mother always told me i need milk). Ewwww. Dump. 

Post # 56
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Besides the fact that he is having a sexual relationship w/ that woman, he’s a 34 year old who uses cheesy lines like “my mother always said I needed more milk (heh heh heh).”

What a douche. Run awaaay.

Post # 57
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@cantonbride:  Lol didn’t even read your comment and wrote the same thing. What an asshole!

Post # 58
Member
3101 posts
Sugar bee

@sortawaitingbee:  I don’t think you did anything wrong.  You should run, run, run.

Post # 59
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sortawaitingbee:  People are going to be all ermahgerd you snooped

Not me.

I dated a guy and we were happy for a while. He was my best friend and I thought he was just a great person. All of a sudden I got this feeling… I can’t describe it really. I just KNEW. It was like my heart had dropped into my stomach one night and I ended up snooping into his Myspace and finding a ton of messages.

I was young and forgave him. There were several other instances like this. One night I had that same gut wrenching feeling, I drove to his work and there was a girl wearing a tiny tank top leaning into his car window. She walked off when I pulled up then she flipped me off when she drove away.

I am sorry you are going through this OP and I am glad you found those photos before you got married. Talk to him.

Post # 60
Member
231 posts
Helper bee

sad..so sorry for you

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