(Closed) Found something in SO’s email. He denies it. Not sure what to think.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I went through a similar thing with FH and believe me when I say that the guy denying knowing anything is a pretty sure sign that he DID open the account himself if he is getting irritated when you confront him about it. There’s a chance it was someone else, but it was probably him. Sorry you’re going through this…=/

The good news is, if he did in fact open the account but is willing to come clean and fix his behavior, this isn’t a huge, messy deal. I mean, it sucks. But you’ll be able to get through it. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk…been there, done that, man.

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am not sure if what he is saying is true or not, especially with that password, but if his account was hacked, it is possible that “they” could have signed him up for it or he could have signed up way before he met you and just forgot about it, especially if there isn’t any activity on the account. Did he change all of his passwords when his accounts got hacked? If he didn’t anything is possible.

I know when I changed my facebook account to engaged, I have started receiving all kinds of singles offers, and I know I didn’t sign up for any of them. I just don’t click on any of them. They get deleted immediately, and I also told my Fiance what is going on, so he doesn’t get the wrong idea.

I am the first one to say though, trust your instincts. I would investigate further by just being on the lookout for external signs of change from him. Give him the benefit of the doubt, unless it happens again.

Post # 6
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@mn890: I don’t mean to alarm you, but that is exactly what FH did. He also had a longstanding porn addiction (from before I met him) that we were able to work through, but there were many incidents of denial, “I love you, this is ridiculous,” etc. Just be on your guard, I guess is what I’m saying.

Post # 7
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

To be honest this one is tough!  websites that people join years ago do send them random e-mails. For instance I get e-mails from facebook saying they found me dating matches and I am like wtf? I never signed up for no facebook dating. What exactly did the e-mail say?

Post # 9
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So my first reaction is even I get emails like that! My spam box is full of p*nis enlarging pill ads, etc. Gross I know and I certainly never signed up for them! But that’s what spam filters are for right?

Anyway, the whole password thing is pretty odd. One question- if his email got hacked into, why didn’t he change his password after it was hacked?

Post # 12
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@mn890: But how would the site have gotten his new password?

Post # 14
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mn890: there’s a CHANCE that it’s been being blocked by his filter and that one slipped through. 

So, there’s a chance he had the account prior and signed up. 

There’s also a chance that someone sent him a link to something at the site and he signed up just to see what it was and then forgot about it.  And, he could be embarrassed to tell you or honestly doesn’t remember doing it.  (not a surprise, since I’ve done that, but not at one of those sites… mine are usually at driver download sites).

you could always ask him to close down the account or let it go and keep peeking in on it every so often.  (check the computer history, too… unless he starts deleting it, in which case I’d start wondering….)

sorry you’re going through this, but for the time being, I’d let it slide and not worry about it. 

trust him… and remember: innocent until proven guilty. 🙂  (well, at least TRY to think that way! LOL!)

Post # 15
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@mn890:

interesting! maybe it go passed the junk-mail filter?? I am not finding excuses for the guy but strange things do happen esp. with free e-mail accounts. the other day my Fiance e-mail account was phished and e-mails were being sent on his behalf to all his contacts about a lot crap like nude pics etc.

If you never noticed before then maybe he joined to look at pics. I caught me Fiance looking @ amatour porn at first I was upset but then I sat back and realized men are visual  people and no matter how much I try to control him and tell him he cant look at porn I may as well accept it, why because I am confident about the fact that he is attracted to me and 2 because I would rather he be open about things and not sneak to do it behind my back. I figured being uptight about it will only make him be dishonest and since a relationship is about give and take I understood that he likes porn so why tell hime he cant look at it? Now he will even look at porn with me in the living room and I don’t mind.. I am not saying to do this as everyone is different but you need to go with your gut on this one and was his intent to hook up with women or to look at nudes? that makes a huge difference in the severity of the issue.

Post # 16
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I also went through this before with my ex-fin 7 years ago.  I came across a simular email like these months updates and was able to log in with his normal password.  He denied just like you are saying.  However, how my story gets different he started to get it all twisted up the more I asked.  He didn’t keep his story right.  Thus being why we ended the engagement…along with other reasons.

My only concern for you is that the password matched.  I don’t think the hacker would sign him up for this.  If he doesn’t have any pics or messages in his file it could either be an old account like he said or it could be that he opened it and then decided it was a bad idea and never went through with anything.  I def. would put more thought into your thoughts and feelings about it. 

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