(Closed) Found something in SO’s email. He denies it. Not sure what to think.

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is a tough one. I would say if the password worked, he had to have signed up for an account. However, it could have been just out of morbid curiosity. If he knows that you know his password and that you have access to his computer, I would say it probably is nothing.

But boy, if I were you, I’d sure be taking a peek at his deleted emails, or any of the cookies on the system. Usually I would say that would be the WRONG thing to do, but under these circumstances, I think it’s a bit different than snooping.

Post # 33
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

If he signed up for the account years ago, he would still remember it existed. The fact he “doesn’t remember” and is getting irritated with you is kind of classic manipulative behavior.

Post # 34
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

hmm, I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. I get spam email all the time. Is there a chance he signed up for a dating site before you two met and it gave out his info to other sites? The main reason I wouldn’t be worried is because you have access to all his email; he emailusage is an open book, why would he do something shady when you can see it?

Post # 35
Member
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

do i think he is lying? yes.

do i think it’s irrepairable? no.

gut instinct wise, i think he is in defense mode, cuz he got caught and doesn’t “want to hurt you”… when in all honesty men need to learn that the TRUTH is the best.

he definitely, at least, needs to fess up. and cancel the account. and talk with you as to why he opened it in the first place.

 

communication is key. it’s a bothersome situation, but i think you’ll work through it!

Post # 36
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Okay, back up – maybe I missed it, but is this a dating website or a sex website?

Because if this is a dating website, and he genuinely DID open it (which remains to be seen) I think that’s much more a cause for concern than some dumb sex website. Porn is porn, it’s an industry populated by consenting adults who are taking part by choice and being paid for it. BFD.

Post # 37
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I honestly wouldn’t worry too much about it.  Before I met Fiance, I had signed up for a TON of dating sites–many that I never used except to browse.  I knew a bunch of people that had met on the internet and figured it might be a good way to meet a like-minded guy.

I’m always getting random emails from sites (dating, shopping, or otherwise) that I signed up for YEARS ago and haven’t looked at since.  When I get them now, I go through and unsubscribe, but many of them I don’t even remember until the email comes through.  So, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt unless you have other reasons to doubt him.

Post # 38
Member
1741 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like he didn’t use the account, no picture, etc. and if it worked with his old password, most likely he did create the account a long time ago. I recently had a similar experience. I signed up for a dating website because i wanted to suggest guys for my friend to date. My profile only contained the bare minimum and I never signed on again after I used it that one day. Well, that was about 6 months ago and i just got a birthday greeting from the dating website suggesting i check out the new members. I forgot I had signed up and even without taking any action, they sent me an unsolicited message so your FI’s story seems very plausable to me.

Post # 39
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

He’s probably just embarassed, and that’s why he’s being defensive and weird about it. Honestly, if there’s no evidence that he’s been actively using the site I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s probably something he signed up for a long time ago, and they’re still sending him e-mails.

Post # 40
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I tried the online dating thing years ago, and have long since forgotten my log-in information…yet they still send me stuff.  I also have been getting online dating site emails ever since I signed up for the Bee…interesting.

Have a friend make a fake account and “watch” him to see if he’s active?

Post # 41
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s odd that his new password works. I personally think he’s not being honest with you. Since you asked him and he denied it, I would keep checking it, if he changes the password then he obviously uses the site and doesn’t want you to know what he is doing. I also would create a fake account with fake information and contact him, see if he contacts you back. If he does in any small way then you know he is active on the site and sadly doing things behind your back.

Edit: I only say create a fake account b/c I had a previous bf who did this and that is the way I found out he was lying. Was it wrong on my part? Probably a little but I wanted to get the truth from him and he was a liar so this is the only way I could get it. Needless to say that relationship ended after I found out he was still trying to hook up w/girls from the internet.

Post # 42
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with what most people are saying here. It’s the password that’s weird. If it was an old email address, he’s remember it (sexyfitguy…). 

About a year ago I found porn addresses coming up on my Fiance computer (freepics whatever came up as a searched site address when I was looking up “facebook” ha.) And he STILL denies having looked at it… but I know how the internet works. 

Post # 44
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Just to offer some perspective- I signed up for a dating website about 8 years ago. every once in a while, out of the blue, I get an e-mail from them. You cannot close accounts, so technically mine is still actove though I removed most info. Maybe that’s what you were seeing.

Post # 45
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

I can honestly say that I signed up for a website a couple of years ago and they changed the name of the site and the contents but kept my info and would still send me emails about it even though I hadn’t signed on in years and didn’t even sign up for what the original had become. It’s possible that he doesn’t remember signing up because the site was different when he did.

I think you should trust your husband this time, but also don’t be naive to future red flags.

Post # 46
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

No one hacked into his account and joined a porn site using the password he used for everything else.  He clearly opened it.  Now WHEN he opened it is a different story.  Could’ve been a long time ago, could’ve been recently.  Personally, I wouldn’t think it was that big a deal if my Fiance joined a porn website.  Guys like porn.  I’ve joined porn websites before.    Lots of guys look at porn, it’s no reflection on you or your relationship.  He likely joined it a long time ago and is embarrassed to admit it now.  

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