(Closed) Four weeks away and I'm not excited anymore, help!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

Elope. The one thing you both need is alone time where you can RELAX. Get away from the family and the drama and the sad wedding thoughts and just focus on you two. You can see the others for dinner after. But I’d say that more than anything you guys just need to take the time to connect and rejuvenate.

Post # 3
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I agree with eloping. I got married in the Bahamas with just two guests. It was wonderful and stress free. If we couldn’t have afforded the trip, we would have just as happily went to the courthouse.

Also, with your Fiance has he had a chest x-ray? He might have pneumonia. I was hospitalized for it for a week in November and coughed so much before being diagnosed I was throwing up too.

Post # 4
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

This whole thing sounds like a hot mess. If it’s really just about the insurance just go to the courthouse.

Post # 6
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I also agree with eloping. Fiance and I had initially planned a nice big wedding with all of our family and friends, but as we got deeper into wedding planning we realized what a shit storm of drama it would be with all of his family in one place at one time and we just couldn’t stand the thought of starting our marriage with so much toxic negativity and drama around us. We’ve now planned to get married while on our honeymoon next month. Stress decreased by about 100000%.

You two sound like you really do need to just get away from all of that negativity. It may mean losing some deposits on venues, but honestly it will be worth it. Hopefully you guys can figure something out, sorry you’re having to go through this all 🙁 Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

Caturner15:  How much money is invested, do your guests have air fare? I agree it sounds like a great case for eloping and having much needed R and R instead of the drama. I’m sorry all that happened to you guys. Maybe in 5 years you can have a vow renewal that more resembels a traditional wedding…if you want. 

Post # 8
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Agree with PP, eloping sounds logical. If that’s not what you want to hear, I can understand, but why go through all the stress for just 7 people? It’s ultimately about you and your Fiance. 

Post # 10
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Caturner15:  I am so sorry that this time in your life has been such a (understatement of the year here) terrible time. I know when I got engaged that my life would be a lot more fun and festive. Feel free to judge, somewhere along the line I got in my head that I would get engaged and would be spared the difficulties of life. If my magical rose-colored engagement bubble ever shows up, I might ask for your address and send it your way. 

Eloping, for financial reasons, is off the table. But let’s not forget that you have worked hard to have this intimate wedding with those who love and support this incredible decision you and your Fiance are making. I think that its hard to see that you are going to have a wonderful day with your nearest and dearest when there are still family and medical issues.  I think that regardless of size or formality, you will probably walk away from that day feeling a deep and resounding joy that comes from being in love and celebrating with those that love us.

If you can’t be thrilled, can you let go and let the day unfold naturally? Each wedding is unique not because of who was/wasn’t there or where it was. Its special and unique because your love story (especially that you have fought and triumphed over adversity) is special and unique and truly incredible. Even with all that is going on, I hope that this day can be one you fully allow yourself to experience and cherish. Those family fights, the medical problems, they AREN’T invited to your wedding and they made need to be uninvited from taking up some serious real estate in your thoughts and mind. 

Your honeymoon sounds like a much needed break from the stressors and difficulties you have to deal with daily. If you can’t bring yourself to be excited about the wedding, know that at the end of all of this you are spending the early part of your married life in grand style and celebrating your love story. 

Best of luck!

Post # 11
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

For me, the excitement did eventually come back sooner to the wedding (like a couple days before), but if you’re truly miserable, there’s no need to have a wedding to have a marriage.

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