“In thinking about it now (and over the past few months), I can see where his goals have blended with mine.”
I’m not understanding what you mean by this. If I understand correctly, he wants to travel constantly and you want to settle down. How have your goals blended?? You don’t want to travel and he doesn’t want to get married…seems like the opposite to me.
A lot of guys picture paint and tell you everything you want to hear in that honeymoon stage. And shame on them for doing that- that is why I always think it is a red flag when guys do that. It’s a way to lure you in to a false sense of commitment when they don’t even know you at that point in time.
After 2, 2.5, even 3 years I would think you have seen who he really is and what he really wants through his actions. Why are you still here 4 years in without so much as a mutually agreed upon timeline (considering your ages and potential difficulty having children-not knocking others in relationships for 4+ years)? Honey, you’re wasting your time with him.
He is lying to you. He has been for years. I would be pissed at him for continuing to placate you with a “sure, hun” every time you talk about your life goals and then continuing to do what he wants.
It’s okay if he prioritizes travel, but he has to be honest about that with you and be willing to let you go since you want different lifestyles. Instead, he is just bullshitting you. You’re talking, but he doesn’t care. Clearly.
I don’t know what other advice to give you than to leave him. It’s not like he actually has a legitimate reason for not proposing. He has more than enough money to scrape together to get you a ring. He is old enough and established enough at this point. There is nothing standing in his way- except his disinterest in settling down. I think deep down you know this but you are afraid to leave.
If you don’t leave now, you will just be another day older every day you stay with someone who doesn’t want the same things as you. You are wasting your own time and only hurting yourself.
You have to take responsibility for getting what you want, because no one else will, and if you want kids, you’re going to have to move fast. Be strong and go after what you want. Good luck!