(Closed) Freaked about deployment

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

This breaks my heart for you! I have no advice but girl… Do you need a hug? {{{HUG}}} I myself would be feeling the exact same way and I think I would have a hard time not sharing those feelings with him. There are many amazing military bee’s. Especially MightSapphire who is in the military herself and Ejs4y8’s husband was deployed for quite some time. Also, stick around the military boards because I know other posters have made suggestions for military specific online community.

Post # 5
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You are doing the right thing by not venting to him about the stress.  It sounds to me like you have the military life well understood and IMO you will make a GREAT military spouse, which is one of the hardest thing to acheive.  Coming from a military family, I suggest Letters, letters, letters. Videos on memory sticks are great for them, little somethings in the mail, record cds of you talking to him.  Send something out as soon as you get the IPO.  Even if he hasn’t left yet.  There will be alittle contact, even my cousin who is in Afghanistan (infantry also) gets to jump on FB once in awhile and talks to his wife regularly as he can.  Have you contacted his FRG?  They may be of some help as they get most of the news first and usually keep in great contact with eachother, but that varies from group to group.

*HUGS*

 

Post # 6
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I totally feel you, lady. Darling Husband is USAF and has yet to be deployed due to long training times in his field. He was scheduled to be deployed in June, but they decided that we are PCSing instead so he has been delayed. He works with bombs, so I am terrified that he’s going to get blown up.

I understand the mentality of not wanting to share your fears and doubts with him. You feel like you have to be so strong in order to be that support system he needs. Honestly, the best thing to do is to connect with someone else who knows what you are going through and share your fears with them. I know when Darling Husband first enlisted and left for basic, I was a hot mess. I had a friend whose boyfriend was deployed at the time and we spent a lot of time together talking about it. She really helped me pull myself together.

If you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

Post # 7
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Katew1222: I have been through so many deployments! Let me just say the first one is the HARDEST! You have to learn how to keep yourself busy, and be yourself without him. Pick up an extra job or take up some classes at the gym. Find a good support group, make friends with other girls in his division. Sometimes there are chances that he will get to call, so stay positive. Also a big tip is anything that you have on your mind that you want to tell him, jot it down on a note pad, you don’t know how many times during my first deployment I was like ugh I forgot about that.  You will be able to share wedding related things, you send wedding packages, that include details about your wedding, if you cant send packages and only mail, then stuff them with pictures of the details. I won’t sit here and say it is easy because its not, its your part of the deal thats the hardest, you wake up with a positive attitude everyday and get out of the HOUSE as much as possible.

“Distance does to love what wind does to fire, it extinguishes the weak, and feed the Strong!!”

I stand by this quote 100% it is true! I must say after every deployment our bond and love has only gotten stronger! Its apart of your life and as a military wife we are made STRONG.

Best of Luck, if you need anything or have questions feel free!

-Crystal

 

Post # 8
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I forgot to add, think of the letter-writing this way. If you save all of them (we still have all of the letters that we wrote back and forth when he was in basic) then you will have a wonderful history of things to share with future generations. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@zippylef: This is true. My grandfather was USN and he passed recently while we were cleaning out the house, we found letters that him and my grandmother had wrote to each other. Cry It was so SWEET!

Post # 11
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yup, we have several generations of letters.  I treasure them all.

Post # 11
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

double post

Post # 13
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You may want to join a military spouse forum online. The ladies have been through or are going through exactly what your going through. cichouse.com or militaryspousesupport.net those are my favorites.

Post # 14
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I understand what you’re going through!!  Fiance is scheduled to go to basic in July, which means only letter writing then.  When he’s done training, he’ll be on subs, which means our only means of communication will be email, and it’s apparently not that reliable.

So, yeah… I totally know how you feel right now!  I rely on texts/calls/seeing Fiance all the time, so the thought of going to only letters is something I’m still adjusting to.  MilitaryOneSource.com is really helpful, and definitely try to connect with other wives/FI’s in your man’s unit.  Going through this with other women who you can talk to will be very helpful!

We’re planning on writing letters to each other before he leaves, then open them slowly while he’s gone, along with writing to each other while he’s away.  That way if we can’t write to each other, especially when he’s on a sub, at least it will feel like he wrote to me. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My Fiance was deployed right after we started dating and I remember how hard it was for both of us to adjust to being apart. I definitely agree with what everyone else has said, write letters and lots of them! I think I wrote close to a letter a day, and he came home at the end of it with all of them 🙂 I also sent care packages with different things that would make him smile or be practical for him. Not sure where your guy is going, but my Fiance was in Afghanistan during the winter and really appreciated the blanket and hoodie that I sent because it gets cold at night! Any little thing to make them smile will definitely be appreciated. I also found that I felt like he was there when I was writing or making these packages, it made time go by faster.

And like other people have mentioned, find a way to stay busy. It doesn’t matter what you do, but as long as you are doing something then time will go by faster.

And talking to other people who are going through the same thing can be a huge help. Other friends might not understand what you’re going through so it makes a big difference to have someone to talk to about everything you guys are going through.

You can definitely get through this and it will make you so much closer and stronger as a couple in the end!

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