(Closed) Freaked out about first doctor's appointment.

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yes they will weigh you, but before you step on the scale you can say ” I’d rather you not say my weight out loud” It’s nothing to be afraid of! The subject of weight has to be talked about because your Dr. will let you know the weight range you should try to gain and not surpass. Like only 10-15 lbs if you are obese, more if you aren’t etc. My Dr. never said a whole lot about the subject so don’t be nervous.

Post # 4
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry that you had such a negative experience!

They did weigh me at my first appointment and Darling Husband saw the scale.  Actually, he jokingly yelled out for the whole office to hear, “WHAT DID YOU EAT?!”  He is a jerk like that though.  Lol.  I’m sure you could just ask your husband to walk away.  

To date, they have weighed me at every appointment buthave never once made a comment about my weight (or even how much I should be gaining).  I’m assuming they stay pretty quiet in most cases unless there is an issue.  

Post # 6
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am pregnant and have my first appointment in three weeks. I am VERY overweight. I have already made lifestyle changes–eating healthier, walking a mile a day, and drinking more water. I know I will be told to gain little weight, if any at all. I plan bringing up the weight problem with the doctor before he has a chance to say anything. “Look, I know I’m huge, but I am trying to do the best for baby. Here is what I am doing already. What else would you suggest?” The way I see it–I’m already pregnant, and he knows I am doing what I can to have a healthy pregnancy. I was worried at first about what the doctor would say, but now I just want this baby to stick. I wouldn’t worry too much, OP. 

Post # 7
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

This has nothing to do with your initial post.

But, I once wet to the ER for an ear infection, I thought it would go away but – it didn’t, and it was causing me a TON of pain. After waiting almost 2 hours, the Dr. finally came in, and it looked like he just woke up [mind you, this was 9 am and the hospital wasn’t busy]. He asked me what was wrong, I told him I had an ear infection. He just looked at me like I was crazy, he examined my ear, and go figure, it was an ear infection. He then told me that I wouldn’t had gotten an ear infection is I wasn’t overweight.

I worked at a burger king, wearing those nasty head sets all day .

I was like wtf? I told him that, and he didn’t say much after that and left in a hurry.

Thanks doc.

Some dr’s seriously have no tact, and I can’t believe they are in the medical field!

Post # 9
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I am due with my first child this July and according to the BMI scale I am considered obese. I was very concerned going to my first doctor appointment…not because I didn’t want hubby to know because he already knows and loves me anyway, but I was concerned about what the nurse practitioner was going to say. I have had two appointments now and my weight has yet to be brought up. My hubby and I brought it up at the last appointment and she said since it is usually a touchy subject she doesn’t bring it up unless she starts getting concerned. She even gave me the o.k. to gain 25 pounds even though I am “obese”I feel as long as I keep my weight gain to the very minimum it should be ok.

I hope everything goes well for you!! Good luck with TTC!!

Post # 10
269 posts
Helper bee

you get weighed at every exam. im overweight because i had three kids.so close together. im 5’2″ and before i got prego with my first i was 110 with less than 20% body fat now im 160 with 31%. weightgain is expected and sometime is weightloss. with #3 i got down to 140 bc i could not eat i was so sick! your dr should only bring up weightloss if its a medical nessecity. they will encourage light to moderate exercise most of the timeto keep back and ab muscle strong. believe me…you lose it all. and dont go thinking you can eat whatever you want whenever because not everyone looses all that baby weight by breastfeeding. i Boyfriend or Best Friend all of mine and still havent gotten back down to prepregnancy size for baby #1. im still breastfeeding number 3 and i know i probably wont lose weight until i wean. our bodies are our sacraficeses…darn.

Post # 11
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had a super negative experience (about weight) with an obgyn years ago and it ruined my mood on dr’s. But that’s a super long story. I found a new obgyn and I’m overweight… she congratulated me on my pregnancy and mentioned how I should only gain about 15lbs this pregnancy. I get weighed every appointment, hubby knows my weight but he knew before I went in how much I weighed. It doesn’t phase him. 

Post # 12
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I know weight is sensitive–for everybody–me included!


(Long story warning)

But it’s also a doctor’s (or PA, or Nurse Practioner’s job) to keep us informed of our own health.  When I was in college, my dad had a lengthy battle with cancer and then passed away.  Between the stress of working 30 hours a week, going to school full time, and driving home 5 hours every weekend to help my mom with my dad, I gained about 25 lbs in one year.  And I was average to begin with, so that put me barely in the overweight category (by maybe, 3-5 lbs.)

For reference, I am 5’7 and got up to about 161 or 163.  I think for 5’7, “normal” is anywhere from 125-157).  I had a 3 month period where I kept getting sinus infections because my immude system was shot.  As I kept gaining weight, I requested the nurse to stop telling me my weight.  On my third visit in as many months, she finally said—“Look, I think you should know, you’ve gained 25 lbs since this time last year, according to your chart.  You’re officially in the overweight category”.

I was angry.  But after a week or so, the sting wore off, and I realized she was right.  Not wanting to know wasn’t helping me at all, and allowing me to be ignorant about my own health goes against her job, too.

In the end, it was a wake up call and I ended up losing 18 lbs over the next 3 months.  When I went back in that summer for an annual exam, that same nurse was SO EXCITED for me.  She even told the other nurses how much weight I’d lost and they all asked me what I’d done (Just starting eating less, honestly.  No fancy diet plan).

Now, I’m pregnant.  I gained too much weight in my first trimester (I was SO sick with nausea, I basically put my self on bed rest–haha), but because my stomach was even worse if it was empty, I still forced myself to eat crackers or toast about every other hour.  Suprise, suprise, the combination of 0 physical activity + force feeding myself to combat nausea = weight gain.

At my last appointment, my doctor straight up told me and I need to stop gaining weight and just maintain until the third trimester, or I’m going to gain way more than 25 lbs.  The nurse who weighed me say in a not-very-polite way “wow, you’ve gained a lot for the first trimester!”  Um, thanks.


Did it sting?  YES.  Is she right?  YES.


So, it’s possible you just have a rude doctor.  But is it also possible you are at the top of the “normal” weight for your height and she’s just doing her job by letting you know?

Post # 13
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Wed2Attn:  They will weigh you at every appointment because it’s important to monitor weight gain during pregnancy, but I doubt they will say anything to you unless there is some sort of problem. I’m a tad overweight by BMI standards. I’m a 10/12 and am in pretty good shape fitness wise, always have very healthy heart rate, blood pressure, etc. The doctor did not say anything to me except that I should not gain more than 2 pounds during the first trimester, which is normal. Nothing about my current weight was said. Please don’t stress over it!

My husband already knows my weight, but the nurse/doctor never said my weight out loud. You can always let them know if you would prefer it not to be discussed in front of your husband.

ETA: edited for spelling

Post # 14
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m a size 10 now and 5’6″. I have the same issues you do regarding weight. The only OB appt Mark has gone with me to (miscarriage consultstion) I said “you sit over there and don’t you dare look here :)” I don’t Even want to know my weight. I had an eating disorder and food phobia (eating in public) in high school. I shave always yo yo between 135 and 165. For purposes on keeping baby healthy, I turn around backwards on the scale so I can’t see. They understand. I asked her to only tell me if I start I gaining too much, but to not tell me the number.

Post # 15
1564 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

How insensitive of the P.A.! As someone who is a similar size (6’0″ & size 10), I would definitely say that you are not overweight! Sometimes I think that people forget the taller people do generally weigh a little more (it would be weird and disproportionate if you were 6’1″ and 110 lbs!). Also, don’t worry about your weight on the scale. I find that the scales at the Dr’s offices are never accurate (yesterday, the Dr’s scale told me I was 170, I am 165 consistently). I would say that you are as healthy as you can be and that is really what matters!

Post # 16
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I cant believe the PA said that, rude.  Dont stress about it.  I am overweight and when I found out I was pregnant I was worried about thwa they would say too.  At my first appointment he said he didnt want me to gain more than 20lbs during my pregnancy, mostly because the baby would take what was needed and I didnt need to carry the extra weight.  I laughed in his face.  I thought there was NO way I would stay anywhere close to that 20lb limit.  Well, I did, I gained 22lbs total and the NEVER gave me a hard time about my weight.  It was a totally positive experience.

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