Freaking out

posted 6 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
791 posts
Busy bee

Well I kind of agree that you shouldn’t be calling an ambulance as your primary method of transport. It’s for emergencies. I mean how to do you get anywhere? To work, the grocery store, doctors appointments, etc? 

Post # 3
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Uber maybe? 

Post # 4
6360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

melbear5267 :  Do you have anyone that can take you there? Any friends, family, or neighbors? Coworkers?

Post # 5
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I would consider finding a hotel near the hospital (most hospitals have one right across the street from them) a few days before your due date. 

Post # 6
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You could maybe try for a home birth?

Post # 7
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Are you or someone you know capable of driving?  Maybe rent a cheap vehicle for a couple weeks, if so?

Post # 8
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry you are going through this. It is true that women do not take ambulances to the hospital for normal births, and that women in labor should plan to get themselves to a hospital via private transport. 

Just want to confirm, you have no family or friends at all who are able to drive? If that’s the case perhaps you can hire someone- a friend of a friend maybe- to be on call for the week before and weeks after your due date and transport you to the hospital. 

Alternatively, you can explore a doula option where the doula is willing to provide transportation. Some will not for liability reasons, but I’m sure you can find someone who can, or a doula who can recommend someone who can. That way you have support for the long car ride there. 

Good luck! 

Post # 9
6445 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I have to agree that if you are two hours away from a hospital, you must be very rural. I live in the US, but in a very remote area. Even so, I am not two hours from a hospital.  How do you get to a grocer or to work or anywhere? Any place large enough to have public transportation would also have a hospital. How have other women you know made it to the hospital? 

Post # 10
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I don’t think it’s ridiculous they’ve told you not to call an ambulance. This is not an emergency. You’ve had months to think about this. Our emergency services are already overstretched without using them as a taxi service.

How does it take two hours to get to the hospital? It took me two hours to get from Manchester to visit my uncle in Lincolnshire hospital.

How do you not know anyone who drives? If you live in such a rural location I would expect most people to have a car.

Look into hiring a car maybe or do you have family who live closer to the hospital you could stay with? 

melbear5267 :  

Post # 11
275 posts
Helper bee

If you live so rural that you need to travel 2 hours to nearest hospital how can noone around you drive? How does everyone get to work, do the shopping, take part in sport/hobbies. I know very very few people who can’t drive, and those 1 or 2 that cant it is because they live in a city centre and never had any need to.

How do you plan on getting around with a baby/child? What if they need a doctor/nurse/hospital? I presume you found out you were pregnant 6 months ago, couldnt you have learnt to drive then or at least found someone to bring you to hospital . I really can’t get my head around this, something is not adding up…

Post # 12
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

Do you know ANYONE who lives closer to the hospital? Maybe you could stay with them while you wait for labor? 

Where does your mom live, and does she drive? Maybe you could stay with her during this time and give birth in her town/city. 

Post # 13
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Knowing that you’re pregnant, why didn’t you prepar for the? 

melbear5267 :  

Post # 14
2794 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Where do you live that you’re 2 hours from a hospital in Lincolnshire?

Ambulances shouldn’t be used as taxis. Do you really not have anyone with a car? Or able to get a taxi? Taxis here take women in labour to hospital all the time. 

melbear5267 :  

Post # 15
6169 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Damn. A lot of these response have some seriously stank tones.

OP- most (but not all) women who go into labor take several hours to deliver their babies. It’s not like we’re constantly shown in movies and entertainment where the first pain happens and then suddenly you’re hollering and cowning and baby is coming shortly afterward. So once you know for certain you are in labor, you should have some hours to get to the hospital.

Also, there are identifiable stages of labor and delivery and during the first stage, most women can still think and communicate somewhat effectively. The later stages are where the intensity is (usually) incredibly high and women are so internally focused that speaking and planning are a challenge. So your goal is to have a plan now and be able to implement it during that initial labor stage.

You likely know this by now but it’s really common for first time mothers to go over their due dates (by an average of about 8 days) so planning to go stay someplace right before or at your due date may get expensive.

Last thing which you may not know- it’s really common for women to go into labor at night because the hormones that trigger labor are more likely to spike at night. I’m not telling you that to freak you out more, but to encourage you to have a plan for both day and night.

How are you getting prenatal care thus far? Can the professionals who have been doing your checkups also deliver? If your pregnancy is healthy and considered normal, maybe a home birth is the easiest option for you.

Your post makes it sound like you are alone in figuring out a lot of this stuff which is a stressful place to be in in and of itself. If you are not on your own, has your partner proposed any solutions? Can you find a car/driver that you can hire specifically to drive you to the hospital?

I took issue with the tone of some of the PPs responses but the gist of what they were communicating has some truth to it. You are about to have another human being completely and entirely dependent on you. Waiting until this close to your due date to come up with a plan seems like you are expecting someone else to swoop in and save you. And, as someone’s mother, it’s going to be YOUR job to do the saving. You need to make that internal/mental adjustment because kids can feel when their parents aren’t on top of the business of adulting and it makes things really scary for them. Waiting until you are freaking out to figure out a plan for an inevitable situation means you’ve waiting too long to address the matter.

Good luck. I hope you create a solid plan that works really well for you. And congratulations on your coming baby!

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