- Wedding: December 2013 - City, State
I just want to start off by saying thank you all the people who have been very supportive and positive towards my situation and really trying to give suggestions on what to do.
Upon writing this post I had just been told by my pre-arranged transport that he no longer is willing to take me to the hospital when I go into labour. At that point I was an emotional stressed wrecked because I had just been let down and had no other plan. Yes I had time to throughout my pregnancy for a back up plan but I honestly never thought I needed one. Also, yes I am one of them people who doesn’t drive, doesn’t know anyone who drives, lives in an area where I haven’t really spoken to neighbors so all of a sudden can’t go knocking on peoples doors asking for a lift at such short notice, only family I have is my mum, 2 little sisters, bf and his family all of which don’t drive. Yes of course I have mentioned this situation to them and of course they are asking around.
All I wanted to know when writing this forum was for extra information from other people or suggestions. I never asked for the in my opinion quite hurtful comments because quite honestly know one knows my situation which I have come to realise well maybe that’s the reason for such comments but like I said before I was a mess when writing the post to begin with but also didn’t expect to write my whole life story either.
I also do understand the reason behind the need for ambulances and of course I agree with it just wasn’t thinking straight at the time and in a way was looking for someone to blame (normal reactions many people have to situations) plus I am pregnant and my hormones are all over the place too, something my bf mentioned to me after I told him about such comments.
For the person asking about my job, it was seasonal the only one I could get living in the area I do so the hours drop over the winter and even in most cases they close until summer. I left my job in September and found out I was pregnant in November and by then I was already quite a fair bit gone. Yes there are reasons to why I didn’t realise I was pregnant sooner but in my opinion that’s irrelevant and quite frankly people do find out late on I’m not just the only one so yes it is normal too.
Since finding out I was pregnant I have had trouble getting into my local doctors because they are crappy around here and people registered there have to call up at 8am to book an appointment for the day which is difficult especially because I rely on a also crappy bus service to get me there or when I could manage to get in the woman on the phone would tell me that they are full for the day and to try again.
It got to the point where it was December and I decided to focus on just relaxing over the Christmas month and try the doctors again in January. Besides with it being Christmas they aren’t open anyway. Also I was constantly sleeping and tired due to normal pregnancy hormones so didn’t feel up to going out most days or doing anything. So this is also my decision to relax and try again.
It finally got to January and I was straight on the phone to the doctors just to be told again that they are full and can’t book me in. This went on for a few days before I remembered something about a 111 nhs number. So I thought I would give them a call and explain that I am pregnant and I’ve been trying to get into my doctors but I can’t blah blah to which they gave me a number for Louth maternity and I called them and got an appointment with a midwife straight away and by that time she said I was already 20 weeks gone. (More than I had calculated but does make sense now).
Being a first time mum and having an unplanned pregnancy I was unaware of all the things involved and what to do etc etc etc just like I am now and that’s why I am asking for help. There’s literally no harm in that, not every one knows what to do in life so sorry if that offends anyone but it is what it is. Also being so late to start the whole journey off also didn’t help because I’ve had less chance to plan things properly or was unaware I needed to until I finally spoke to the midwife.
I didn’t know about maternity grants or maternity allowances until someone told me about them when I was around 24/25weeks. To which I did thorough research into and got the forms and info sorted out as soon as humanely possible. The job centre I claim universal credit from didn’t help and told me absolutely nothing about them but you go through them to get it in a way. The only money I had was my £250 a month from UC so most of that has gone towards baby stuff. My mum has literally paid for most of my big baby items to which I am forever in her debt and of course would just love to take her out to say thank you but can’t afford a thing. My bf works and has also helped out a lot with baby things but also has his own bills to pay so hasn’t been able to afford much either.
So when I was told about the grant and allowance I was happy that I had a way to be entitled to more money to help us out but realised that I can’t send off for the grant till I’m 11 weeks before due date but the allowance I could but it could take up to 6 weeks which I still haven’t recieved now.
Also I had troubles with my maternity grant, I sent it off and they sent it to the wrong place so had redo everything and send it off again to which I had to wait and I’ve only just recieved the money which is typically considering I’m so close to my due date so yeah.
Sorry it’s long but this is my story of my rollacoster of a pregnancy and this unfortunately is Lincolnshire for you. Crappy Lincolnshire that’s only good for people who can afford to live here and can drive. This is something I have grown up to realise so this is why I have tried so hard to get a job and try to drive but unfortunately things have happened in life like not being qualified for a full time job which I’ve not been able to get, not being able to continue my lessons because the only job I can get is seasonal and I had to leave and therefore stop my lessons because I could no longer afford it and falling pregnant and going through all of this to now end up in this situation so yes I am sorry for being an emotional wreck but I’m sure anyone who is in my situation would be too.