Freaking out

posted 3 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t understand how you live in Lincolnshire and are two hours away from a hospital, I live in Birmingham which is the other side of the Midlands and can get to Lincolnshire hospital in under two hours, so something is not adding up here. 

How have you been getting to the hospital before now? If you do live two hours away from a hospital (which I highly doubt if you live in Lincolnshire), you must live in an extremely rural area. In very rural areas people need to drive to get to shops and places of work etc, so unless you are in contact with virtually no one I don’t understand how you don’t know anyone who drives.

I’m sorry, but this post makes no sense. 

Post # 18
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

There’s a lot you’re not telling us here!  How are you managing your antenatal appointments – surely your situation would have been raised by now?  There are volunteers linked to hospitals and churches who could help.  Where are your parents, what about the baby’s father? What about his family/friends? Why did you have to leave your job – isn’t there anyone there you could ask for help?  Why did the guy ‘bail out’ who was originally going to help – can’t you talk to him again and explain how desperate you are.  I think you need to be a bit pro-active here rather than taking the ‘woe is me’ stance – you’re going to have a tiny human dependant entirely on you soon – you need to step up to the mark!

Post # 19
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee

What about the baby’s father? You don’t have any family at all who could help? Neighbours? 

I’m sure if you called a taxi and didn’t tell them you’re in labour they would turn up and take you, I can’t see them turning down taking someone to hospital. Your situation is really unfortunate, but the hospital is right, ambulances are for emergencies, they’re not taxis.  

Do you know you can claim refunds for your transport to the hospital for appointments if you’re on benefits and have no one who can take you? https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/help-with-health-costs/healthcare-travel-costs-scheme-htcs/

Also, try contacting the hospital charity and transport services and see if they can offer a taxi service who would be willing to take you. Alternatively, I know it’s a bit late in the day but could you have a homebirth? 

Post # 20
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Have you spoken to your doctors/the hospital about this? Would they be willing to schedule an induction around 39 weeks so you could reasonably make it to the hospital without being in labor?

If not, you don’t have to be friends with people for them to be willing to give you a ride. I’d ask around or post on a local page that you need to hire someone to drive you. There’s generally community services to help people with rides who need them (elderly, disabilities, etc.). None of the solutions may be obvious to you, but if you put the questions out there you may be able to connect to someone who has answers. I really do think the doctor or maybe someone connected to benefits might be a good place to start. 

It sounds like you’re in a hard situation and you’re going to get through it. You’ve gotten this far and you can get the rest of the way. There’s an answer somewhere. Keep asking and you’ll find it.

Post # 21
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Ok  I would contact your gp and ask them for advice. They should have information about services in your area which can provide support for things like this. 

I would also seriously consider moving. Obviously it’s unlikely to happen before the baby arrives but I would start looking into now. If you live in such a remote location with no transport and support system it will be difficult for you to get out when the baby arrives. It will also help you build up a support system if you can move to an area that has lots of baby groups so you can meet other new mums going through the same things you are.

melbear5267 :  

Post # 22
Member
7906 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

TwilightRarity :  Totally agree with you about the tone of prior comments. This bee is already in a shit situation that she seems completely overwhelmed by, and I fail to see how stank tones as you call em (lol) are going to help her at all. I think we need to be supporting women in need!

OP, I think the pp’s suggestion to contact local churches is a great one. I am sure someone in your community would volunteer to drive you. I don’t go to church anymore but I guarantee if someone had shown up at my local church in your situation there would have been a number of people happy to be on call to help her out. 

Deep breaths, mama, this is a problem, but it’s not unsolvable. 

Post # 23
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s totally true that people often forget how long public transportation takes- it’s hard without a car and having to rely on bus schedules. 

I’d definitely see if you can hire or request for a volunteer to be on call the week before and after your due date. Also, do you have support where you are after the baby is born?  If you are in such a remote area with difficulty accessing resources, it’s so important to have support for meals, checking in on you, taking you to post partun appointments, etc. Having a newborn is so hard so please take care of yourself and relay on others as much as you can. Sending hugs. 

Post # 24
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

Do you have social services there? I’d contact them for help. Maybe they can put you up in a women’s shelter or hotel near the hospital. They may be able to foot some of the bill for a hotel, too.

Post # 25
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee

tiffanybruiser : 

Tbh the situation with churches is not really the same in the UK. They don’t play a large role in the community as most people do not attend and/or are not religious here, so the church going circle is very small and tight knit. If you turned up to a church you’d never been to before and started telling people you wanted free transport to the hospital you probably wouldn’t get very far.

Of course she could try it, but I don’t think it’s likely to work and would be met with a lot of suspicion if she’s never been to that church before. I don’t know if OP is religious either, but if she’s not she might not feel comfortable attending a church just to get a free ride (I personally wouldn’t). 

Post # 28
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This is going to be really unpopular based on a lot of your responses, but if you are starting to have contractions close together then call the ambulance and tell them you are having chest pains.  I say this as a worst case option.  

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