(Closed) freaking out a little!! advice please!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh my gosh! Thats crazy. What are the odds of that happening? I would try and talk to her and let her know that you both cant have the same wedding day, being cousins and all. Its not fair to your family to have to pick which wedding they want to go to.

Im sorry you are going through this, I wish I could offer more advice Embarassed

Post # 4
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

That stinks. I guess people can’t say “you only get one dayyyy” to this one, huh? Has she responded to your message – and do you think she’ll decide to change hers? If not, what are YOU going to do? That is such an awkard situation. Did she not know that you already had that date (i.e. were you and your Fiance not very vocal about it?) Sorry for all the questions…. Just things I’d think about. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

That is upsetting but you know what? This is good because you’re finding out now and not 6 months from now. You and your cousin can both have beautiful days. I think that it’d be exciting to got to a morning ceremony and a breakfast or brunch reception – hang out in the city and then later in the evening go to a ceremony and dinner reception but that’s just me. You and your cousin could get together and decide that one of you can have a breakfast or brunch reception and then the other can have a dinner reception. Then, you guys could arrange activities for your guests to do in the meantime esp. if there’s a city with a downtown nearby. Guests could go to musuems, botanic gardens, tours and etc. I know you’re freaking out but if you and your cousin are both willing to compromise then both of you could have your own weddings (along with your own style and budget) on one beautiful day.

Post # 8
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you did all that you can do. Did she know about your wedding?

By letting her know that you have the same date she can decide if she wants to compete with you for guests or not. I would be upset too, sorry you have to go through this.

Post # 9
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That’s crazy they picked the same day. I’m guessing you are not that close with this cousin? It stinks people will have to choose, but they will know that you chose your date first and it’s the cousin that should switch imo.

Post # 10
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Not that this is any help at all…but I love August 4th as a date!

 

(It’s my birthday) 😉

Post # 11
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Logistically – how many people will actually have to choose? Just wondering how big of a deal it will be guest-wise.

Also, I think you should just breathe and wait for her to respond. By all means, you had the date “first” and it’s got a sentimental value to you. She can either be a considerate cousin and pick another day or she can let the drama ensue. Sorry you have to deal with this though. :/

Post # 13
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, this far out, wouldn’t it be possible for you to change your date? I know you said it had significance to you, but your wedding date will also have significance… because it’s your wedding day.

 

I’ll bet you can find another day that your church & photographer are available, and then there isn’t a problem.

 

I guess ultimately you need to decide… what’s more important to you? A particular date, or having all of your family celebrate with you?

 

Still sucky though.

Post # 14
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

oh boy, that’s terrible!  i hope your cousin and Fiance decide to change their date, keep us updated!  until you hear back, there is really nothing you can do.

one piece of advice is to not give in right away.  they may be willing to change, but may test you and see if you offer to change yours first. even if you are willing, i would say don;t tell them this immediately and emphasize how important it is to you!

good luck!

Post # 15
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Your cousin is a guy…  unless your super close with him chances are he forgot your date or never told his Fiance.  (I am not trying to bash men but my fiance forget’s dates a month away so I can only image a date over a year away).  Don’t panic or start changing things yet.  See what she says and go from there.  I am sure there can be some compromise for the sake of the family.

Post # 16
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m so sorry this is happening! What an awful situation 🙁  I don’t have much advice other than to wait and see her response. Please keep us updated!

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