Post # 1
Two weeks from this very moment, I will at last be on a plane back to the States and into my boyfriend’s waiting arms. I’ve lived in a very rural part of Japan for the past two years.
Though I am, of course, thrilled to live on the same side of the globe as my Boyfriend or Best Friend again, I’m also really sad to leave here. I ended up sobbing to him over Skype on Monday night. He said, “Well I’m here…” But all I could think about were my students and friends and activity partners here who I might never see again. I really want to be with him again, but I’m also really heartbroken to leave paradise here.
I’m also worried about how things will change once we’re able to see each other every day. I’m worried we’ll fight, we’ll start taking each other for granted, etc. Those are probably not going to happen, but I’ve been thinking about it anyway.
Anyone else in the same situation?
Post # 3
First of all, biiiiiggggg (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))). Leaving a place you love is never easy. I met Fiance 12 days before leaving for Italy for 3 months. We had an amazing time during those 12 days and I thought my heart would break when I left. I made incredible friends in Italy who I still miss to this very day, and again, when I left, I was a freaking mess. Like uncontrollable sobbing mess, and a lot of my friends were the same. I agree, I was (and still am) so sad to leave them behind, knowing that I likely wouldn’t see them again. It’s an awful feeling when those people have become your family.
Here comes the but. But I got home to Toronto, reunited with Fiance (then BF), and just let things fall back into place. I let him become my family and my every day companion. Absolutely it’s hard and you’ll miss your friends a lot, but you’ll be able to stay in touch via Skype, FB, email, etc. Plus you’ll always have some place to stay if you go back to visit! When you get home, you’ll need to adjust, but just take it one day at a time. I’m sure it’ll be fine! It’s totally natural to be worried about how you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend will do once you’re reunited, I can’t tell you how much time I spent thinking about it. Just focus on enjoying the next two weeks, soak in all of it, then worry about being home when you get there okay?
Post # 4
Aww. *Hugs* Don’t worry! I found that when my SO moved in together after ending LDR- we sniped at each other waaaay more than we do now- but we both knew it was a phase. We could never take each other for granted, the LD aspect of our relationship made us stronger and we fall more in love with each other every day.
Change: That’s life, sister! Good luck!
Post # 5
bakerella I couldn’t’ve put it better myself 🙂
Post # 6
I’d be pretty sad if I was moving back to Dallas from Japan, too (I grew up in Dallas, and have traveled to Japan – it is AMAZING!). Just try and remember that you get to start a new life with your boyfriend, AND you have all of this great travel knowledge. You can always go back! Make adventure a priority in your relationship, and you will feel fulfilled.
Post # 7
Ive been through this before too. My Fiance started out long distance in college. I moved accross the country and saw him every couple of months. When he decided to move accross the county to be with me I had the same feelings you were; not about leaving home, but about seeing him EVERY DAY. I thought, “wow, how will i feel seeing him every day. When we see each other now it’s like a vacation. Now it’s real life!” I think it was our LDR version of cold feet.
There will definitely be an adjustment period but you’ll get used to it and as long as you dont want to take each other for granted and keep that in mind, you will remember to treat each other with kindness. And just remember next time you feel overwhelmed, he won’t have to comfort you over skpe. He’ll be able to give you a hug in person.
And I agree with the others, try to make it a priority to go back to Japan and keep in touch with friends over skype.
Post # 8
Oh sweetie!! I know EXACTLY how you feel!
I met my Fiance when I was living in London for a year, and we didn’t start officially dating until 3 months before I left. We broke up, and I went back to Los Angeles with a broken heart. We ended up keeping in touch for 6 months before we decided we couldn’t live without each other. He asked me to marry him, and the first 4 months of our engagement we were 9000 miles apart. I flew here about 6 weeks ago, and I was terrified that things would change.
Well, they HAVE changed! It’s strange but wonderful to be able to wake up next to him, and while we do argue more often now… we’re able to make up, go out, stay in, or just sit on the couch and watch a movie. We’ve gone from Long Distance Romance to No-Distance Relationship.
Yesterday, I just started tearing up randomly because this change has been so hard for me. I miss my friends in LA, my coworkers at my old jobs, and even my car, lol… but you know what? Getting emails from friends that miss and love you is like getting an unexpected gift. Keeping in touch with loved ones via Skype and Facebook or whatever you use is so easy, and it feels just as good as seeing them everyday. I’m glad I read your post… it makes me feel better too!!
Post # 9
Thanks, everyone! It’s just been a hard week. I’m a teacher here, and it’s my last week of classes. I only have one left to go. I’m going to miss my kids so much. 🙁
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I know we’re in this for the long haul, so hopefully you’re all right and we’ll realize the difficulties at the beginning are just a phase. I keep trying to just think about the good things like how warm he is at night.
Fortunately, we’re both pretty adventurous, and we plan to move back to Japan together in a few years after we get married. We’ve talked about grad school in the UK and six months in Italy, too. So long as we can find the money, Boyfriend or Best Friend and I will always travel.
I think if I can just get through all the going away parties in the next week, I’ll be okay. Man, I started sobbing at my elementary school send-off yesterday, though… Wish me luck at the middle school today!
Post # 10
GreenEyedMoon, I can really relate, I work with college students in the middle east and I am leaving in 2 weeks. I am really going to miss them and I can’t help but wonder if they will even remember me. I have been here two years and I have had my own life here, Japan sounds way cooler, but this place has really grown on me!
I am moving to New England to go to graduate school now, the same school as the Boyfriend or Best Friend, and I am ‘kfj;kgjkgjdlksomg sooo excited to be together again. But in the back of my mind I am scared that the adjustment might be hard on our relationship.
I have also noticed that in a lot of successful LDR’s the couples talk A LOT and we are no exception, I worry that when we are in a no-distance-relationship that we might not make a conscious effort to do that daily, you know, take it for granted.
Im guessing you are about done with the courses! I wish you the best of luck on the adjustment back!
Post # 11
I am in the same position as you are GreenEyedMoon. Our LDR is about to end! this post has helped alot. Thanks bees!
Post # 12
We’re still long-distance, so I haven’t experienced this myself yet, but you know what? Change is freaking scary! And two years is a long time to live somewhere, so don’t beat yourself up for being sad to leave. It’s not black and white; it’s not like either you love one place and hate the other, right? Feeling overwhelmed with this huge life change is completely reasonable. But I’d also make sure to tell him exactly how you’re feeling, so he doesn’t just see you crying and think it’s because you don’t want to come home!