Freaking out about getting older- long post

posted 4 months ago in Waiting
Post # 16
8327 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Exactly. Olldfashioned guy because he won’t propose within a month ,or wwhenever, of a friends wedding? That’s the strangest and most inaccurate  criterion for old fashioned l ever heard. As you point out, if anything it’s a modern phenomenon ,  part of the dream venue/bridal vision/4 day destination bachelorette scenario. 

I wonder  how OP got the idea that’s his reason for being so vague- did she assume it, or did he actually say the words ‘my proposing this summer would of course be out of the question as it would derail at least two weddings….”. The latter seems…..,unlikely  , not many men being so concerned with wedding etiquette, even erroneously. 

OP, as pps have said, you need to work out your priorities. And maybe think a bit more about why he would feel pressured, or have such curious reasons for putting off proposing…

manylovesbee1 :  

Post # 17
4064 posts
Honey bee

If you’re thinking of your fertility, now’s the time to have a talk with your SO. You can put a wedding together in a short amount of time, it’s absolutely possible. 

But ask yourself why you’re so worried about “pressuring” someone you’ve lived with for 3 years, by bringing up th idea of marriage. Because I don’t understand this at all. Complete honesty – it’s an underrated virtue.

Post # 18
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

evamoo :  so you’re saying he would NOT marry you right now. Wow, that would piss me off given your valid concerns about time, age and fertility.  Engagement is NOT his unilateral decision,  stop allowing him to call all the shots.  This is *your* life too. Tell him you expect engagement by the end of July.  That’s plenty of time even for a “surprise”. Plan the wedding for this winter or spring.  

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