- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I got engaged recently, and it’s been an exciting but stressful time. My mom has been helping me look into venues and has been supportive. But I just have this nagging feeling that something isn’t right. I’m too scared to commit to a venue and put down a deposit. In the back of my mind, I’m thinking, what if things don’t work out? What if we lose the deposit? What if I screw everything up?
Maybe I should just plan a really small wedding of about 80 people. I don’t like being in the spotlight. Hearing all the congrats about my engagement was about all I could handle.
I love my fiance but it feels like this engagement is happening to someone else and I don’t know why. Maybe because I never thought I’d be engaged for a long time, before I met him. I’ve always been a romantic and I keep hoping things will be like they are in the movies (which I know is ridiculous). It’s just the way I’ve been raised/my personality. I feel very fortunate to have this guy who loves me, but sometimes I don’t feel like he does. I want my fiance to hug me when I’m upset and not keep asking questions.
I was single for about 5 years before I met him. Maybe I’m scared of losing that independence. I was a very independent person when I met him. Now, not as much.