(Closed) Freaking out about possible move. San Fran!!!! Help!

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Talk about culture shock.  I don’t have any advice but CA, Woo.  I am sure that when you two put your heads together you will find the answer that is right for you.

Post # 4
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Mrs Hedgehog: I lived in SF for 3 years and…it is super expensive. It’s a gorgeous city, but you’re right- real estate prices are out of control.

If this job is really worth a move, i would recommend talking to some real estate people about what some realistic goals would be to owning a home outside the city, based on your salaries and the prices out there. Then based on their answers you and Darling Husband can sit down and have a talk about all the pros and cons.

Good luck!!

Post # 5
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

yeah , i don’t remember where I saw it, but San Fran is one of the most expensive cities in the US…thats really sucks. I would suggest making a budget and trying to stick with as best you can.

Post # 6
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I guess you and your husband will have a big decision ahead of you. You will need to weigh cost vs. salary and job to determine if this is a good career move for your husband. What about your job, will you be able to find something in SF? I think 2 salaries vs. 1 is a significant factor to consider. Is this a forever move or just a step on a career ladder? In the second case, why not continue apartment living for a bit longer as you won’t want to buy a house and then try to sell it again in 3-5 years (at least I would not). If you both value being near family and owning a home over a career then you should be having a different discussion. Only you and your husband will be able to determine where your priorities are in life and what you are willing to sacrafice to achieve these goals.

Speaking from my experience, my Darling Husband recently took a job that is in a city where rent is triple what we were paying and we will need to live apart with weekend visits for a year. However, the benefit to his career (and mine for staying) is significant. As well, his salary is significantly higher to cover increased cost of living. It’s not forever and certainly not in a market that we would be able to own a home in in the near future but it gives him the possibility to apply for jobs in his chosen location in the future as well as a promotion now that he would not have had in his old position. It’s also in a market that has job opprutunities for me when I move which is a factor you should not overlook.

Good luck in your decision.

Post # 8
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

SF is REALLY expensive, but since the cost of living is more, the starting wages are typically higher.

My husband is applying to graduate schools for next fall, and applied to a bunch in MA, but also a few in Northern California, so there’s a possibility that we’ll be moving out there next year. In fact, my brother just moved to Napa, and my cousin lives in SF. OH and we’re going to visit them next Wednesday (omg I can’t wait!!!)


Anyway, if the job is worth it, and the pay is enough for there to be a difference even with a more expensive apartment…then do it! It’ll be an adventure! And if you’re miserable, you’ll come home. Good luck! If we both end up there, we can be besties! (PS I swear I don’t say “besties” in real life).

Post # 9
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not much help but Darling Husband and I may be in the same situation in the not so distant future. We’ve looked into apartments in SF and we’d be looking at around $2,800 p/month to get atleast the same caliber of apartment that we currently have (we pay $1,300 p/month in Upstate, NY). It seems like a SHITLOAD of money but you have to remember that you will be making quite a bit more (I would assume). I know that Darling Husband is looking at tripling his salary if we end up moving.

It will be an adventure but I think it’s good to explore new places. Life in CA will be completely different than life in NY or TX but who knows, you may love it. I’m a little concerned about Darling Husband since he’s been a “small town boy” his whole life but I think eventually he’ll acclimate (I grew up in NYC so I can probably hold my own). Portland, OR is actually on the top of our list of places to relocate to on the West Coast but the job offers seem to all be in and around SF.  

Post # 10
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s not so bad.  My aunt lives in Fremont and she has a house.  If you move farther away from the city it’s a little cheaper.  Plus as someone mentioned, the salary will be higher in Cali since cost of living is higher.  In the long run it’ll be good career wise. As for moving, it’ll be fine.  I had moved from Kansas to Boston to New York and now I’m in London.  It’s not so bad and it’s nice to explore new cities.   You never know, you might like it there.

Post # 11
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

If he gets the job, you need to really weigh the increase in salary to the increased cost of living. We’ve seen that discussion here on the boards before – $50k in a small area is rich, while $150k in a big city is barely making by.

So if the salary doubles, but your housing quadruples – you aren’t coming out ahead.

Best of luck!

Post # 12
19 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

Lucky you! I love love love San Francisco! I lived there for 10 years and will hopefully go back in a couple of years, pending our job situation.

I would recommend that if you don’t want to live in the city, you look at places near the BART. It’s fast and convenient. That way you won’t have to sit in traffic to commute into the city for work. I’d recommend looking into Walnut Creek, Castro Valley, Hayward. You’ll find something you like.

Good luck!

Post # 13
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012


@Mrs Hedgehog: She gave really great advice. When we bought our house in August we didn’t even stray too far from where we were, but having a realtor who knows the market was so much help. If he gets the job, make this phone call one of your first orders or business…it will save you a lot of stressing out while you look for places online and they’re all too expensive.

Post # 15
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

California will be one of the states the Fiance will be applying for jobs in the coming years.  I will admit I am not looking forward to the high price of living if that’s the way we go. 

Post # 16
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We’re also moving to SF, this summer! I am a little scared because the price of living is so high over there, but I am also really excited. I’ve never lived in a big city like SF but I have always wanted to. I adore city life. Good luck!

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