- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I am getting married next weekend. NEXT WEEKEND!!!! This wedding has been a long time comin, y’all. It went from a big formal event that was supposed to happen last October, to a small backyard wedding with just intimate friends and family, but has since turned into a big backyard shindig with 40-50 people!
I love this man. We have a daughter together. I am more than ready to be married. But I’ve always been HUGE. Being 5 ft and at my highest weight of 240 lbs isn’t easy. I don’t look good. I don’t feel good. But I have a serious binge eating problem. Anyway- I had finally dropped weight and had gotten down to about 208 lbs. YESSS! That was about a month ago. Then I was put on new birth control, and my montly cycle is all screwed up. I am 18 days late for my period, and feel like I am PMSing every second of every day, but it just won’t come! And no, I’m not pregnant. My cycle is just all out of whack because of the new BC. I am bloated and irritable all the time. And I can’t stop eating everything in sighte! I am back up to about 215-220 lbs and I am FREAKING out.
My dress is just a semi-casual white lace hi-low dress. But I feel like a whale in it. I am absolutely so furious with myself and I can’t believe I am going to look like this when I finally walk down the aisle. I am just so sad. I don’t want to look back on my wedding pictures with disgust. Fiance deserves a beautiful wife. I know he thinks I am beautiful, but I mean….
I’m sorry for venting like this. It’s just the wedding is a week away, and I am stressed and just want to feel/look beautiful and not constantly be worried about how fat and hideous I am going to look.
Maybe if I eat nothing but baked chicken and salad for the next week, I’ll feel better? *sigh*. Wish me luck, bees!
- This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Young.love.