(Closed) FREAKING OUT …I HATE SUPRISES BUT I THINK I RUINED MY ENGAGEMENT

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Do you think I ruined my engagement ? What do I do ?
    Yes, you ruined it, just tell him : (6 votes)
    5 %
    Act suprised and don't tell him, it will still be perfect. : (49 votes)
    38 %
    Yes you ruined it, but don't tell him : (22 votes)
    17 %
    It will all work out, you still don't know the exact day or how just relax and enjoy, : (53 votes)
    41 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Even if he is going to propose this weekend the whole surprise isn’t ruined though, is it? B/c you don’t know where/when exactly he will propose. For that matter, he may not propose. I would just go and enjoy yourself and if it happens it happens 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    1) he might not do it then
    2) even if he does, you won’t know the exact way it will happen so it will still be nice

    3) since you hate surprises, maybe this is a good thing, bc u will be somewhat prepared

    4) don’t get upset if it doesn’t happen
    5) enjoy the moment if it does. i wouldn’t tell him i know so he doesn’t get disasspointed about losing the surprise.

    6) but if it happens, later that day I would tell him..babe I accidentally saw that email so I got excited and thought it was coming! (keep a happy tone and he will probably not mind either)

    Post # 7
    Member
    2122 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017

    I figured out my Fiance would propose durign a certain holiday. Despite that it was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!!! It’s not ruined at all, in fact, it was probably better because I made sure I was on my best behaviour, made sure my nails were polished and camera battery was charged!!!

    Post # 8
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @MrsYoshida:  Same here 🙂

    I think I enjoyed it more because I had a good feeling what was coming so was not all “OMFG” just “YAY!!!!”

    Post # 10
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Don’t say anything to him. Stop snooping now and wait for it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @krathman:  Why would you tell him to cancel? You spoiled the surprise yourself, so why wreck it for him as well? Surely if you picked the rings together, you can’t really expect it to be a total surprise. You knew it was coming soon.

    I think you’ll still be somewhat surprised when the actual moment happens… it will still be magical, etc. I don’t really understand why there’s such an emphasis on proposals being a surprise, though. Like you know you’re going to get married, you picked the rings… how surprising can it be? Lol.

    Do your nails, pamper yourself a bit… buy a new outfit… and start getting excited for the wonderful weekend he has planned!!

    Post # 12
    Member
    816 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @krathman:  Aww, don’t worry. I am EXACTLY like you, like a total control freak. I literally comandeer plans all the time, and I force people to buy me certain gifts for birthdays, etc. I know how it goes. Actually, when I was proposed to, my Fiance went to the effort to keep it a secret by not buying the ring until the morning of because he knew I would find out otherwise. Well, as luck would have it, right after he bought the ring (before we went out on our proposal date) I checked the bank account and saw a VERY LARGE purchase made at a jewelry shop. Now, I wasn’t expecting to be engaged for at least another year, so I was shocked, and I had to keep a straight face the whole time. It was so adorable that he went to so much effort to surprise me, I just couldn’t tell him I already knew. It honestly didn’t make the proposal moment of getting down on one knew any less special, it was still life-changing. And now that I told him I knew months later, it’s just a funny story between us.

    Post # 13
    Member
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @krathman:  you say you’re not such a big fan of surprises and you sound a bit like me (i’ve been a huge snoop since i was 2 years old… “mom why are presents from santa hiding in this small crawl space in the back of your closet?”)

    if you are really determined to have that surprise engagement i’d recommend telling him, but realize this might mean you’ll be stuck waiting longer than you like.

    at the same time i’m skeptical you could ever really have the huge surprise it sounds like you’re hoping for.  assuming you know your SO very well it’s likely SOMETHING is going to tip you off one way or another if you are as into a controlled plan as I am.  even if you aren’t snooping or trying to find out, it will always be on your mind and anything out of the ordinary will probably allow you to figure it out enough to at least have your suspicions.  sometimes an out of the blue surprise just isn’t in the cards for brides like us and that’s totally ok!  

    you’ll be able to plan for the night to be perfect on your end (perfect dress and manicure!) which i can’t say i would mind much.  if it’s really eating you up that you know too much though you might as well tell him.  it’s really just a matter of how important being surprised is to you.

    Post # 14
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I think my SO may be proposing this week/next week, but what I first thought when I saw this title was “no, of course you didn’t ruin the ENGAGEMENT!” maybe the PROPOSAL won’t be as much of a surprise, but I think that the truly important part of the weekend will be the fact that you two commit to each other on a new level and get to plan a wedding! So no girl, I think you are fine =) don’t tell him, just enjoy the moment

    Post # 16
    Member
    2087 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I 100% knew the exact night he was going to do it.  I ruined my own surprise in a sense.  I was searching for a pen in his car (He was with me, he was driving) and I looked in the console and there were business cards from jewellers with ring quotes.  Well that got my curiousity SUPER peaked bc I didn’ t think he was going to propose for at least another year and a half (he was in school).  So I couldn’t stop myself, I looked at his online banking (we lived together, had joint accounts etc) and I saw the deposit to the jeweller.  So I totally knew.  We had a fancy dinner coming up in a month to celebrate something else, and I was so sure he would do it that night.  It would just be the perfect time.  Then the night before our dinner, we were shopping for nice outfits and he bought a SUIT!  (My guy was anal about his expenses and already has a suit, so buying a new one was a shock to me) so I KNEW he would do it.

     

    Nonetheless, i didn’t know if he would do it before dinner, at dinner, after, if he had something special planned beyond that… When he got down on one knee just before we went into the skyrise for our ultra fancy dinner, I was still shocked!  I didn’t see any ring box bulges in his pockets and thought maybe I was wrong.. but he’d rolled the box up in his sock.

     

    My point is, even knowing the night it was going to happen, I was still over the moon and still LOVED every second and still had some surprise.

    Don’t ever tell him that you knew though.  My Fiance still, 11 months later, talks about how proud he is of that surprise and that he blew me out of the water and I had no idea… He loves that thought.  So I let him keep it 😀

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