(Closed) Freaking Out Over MOH

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Oh man that sucks to have to be uncertain about the Maid/Matron of Honor for so long!!  Do you or ur fiance have a sister or maybe a cousin? or even your mom could step in at the last minute if the original Maid/Matron of Honor can’t come. 

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

First of all, you can get married without a Maid/Matron of Honor in attendance, you don’t have to promote a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Second, that really stinks she may not be able to make it. But don’t make the mistake of assuming she can just becasue she has the money. A plane ticket to HK and back is VERY expensive and if they were saving for something else that might take precedence. It also might depend on the time she has available due to the position, because that trip isn’t short either.

Try not to worry about it too much and just leave her to the decision making!

Post # 6
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Silly question from someone who is doing a 15 person Destination Wedding with no wedding party Smile

Do you HAVE to have a MOH?  I know you said your mom is set on doing things traditionally, but would you set tongues wagging if you just have BMs?

Post # 7
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I understand how upset you are – but you shouldn’t expect your friends to plan their lives around your wedding. I know it will be hard for her to miss your big day, but if that is what’s best for her and her family – she has to move. Plus, a ticket is pretty expense coupled with the high cost of living in HK.

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Maybe if you promote a Bridesmaid or Best Man to Maid/Matron of Honor (maybe ur fiance’s sister? and then blame it on him lol), then make the best man stand at the front with the groom.  Then make a groomsman walk up with the Maid/Matron of Honor then it won’t be SO OBVIOUS that there aren’t the same number of BMs and GMs.  I might have to do this because of a Bridesmaid or Best Man dropped out and I can’t unask a groomsman.

Post # 11
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yea I would say not having a Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t the biggest deal in the world at all.  You know she will still be there in spirit even if she can’t make the trip.  I don’t think it would look wierd if he has a Best Man and you don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor.  How would the guests notice besides the fact that you have 3 girls and he would have 4 guys?  What if you added a 4th bridesmaid or junior attendant?  Is your flower girl old enough to stand up there just to balance it out? 

Post # 12
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

elaine – I totally, totally sympathize with you, and please don’t take this the wrong way (I really am just trying to give you another perspective), but I think that you should take a breath and relax.  You really can’t judge people on their financial situtations; I would personally be be really offended if anyone assumed I could afford to do something just because I could afford to do something else.  I’m a little confused on whether she will have a job waiting in HK for her or not when she arrives, but if not, maybe she is worried about their financial future in the short run after they move?  Sure, they could have traveled less and saved up to attend your wedding, but I guess some people just don’t think like that.  Also, maybe she is a planner/worrier and doesn’t want to commit to going to your wedding if they are still trying to get settled in HK?  It’s a pretty big move!  Or maybe things are just up in the air in general with her now and she’s hedging her attendance since she can’t really predict how exactly it will all shake out?

I’m so sorry your feelings are hurt (mine would be also!), but I would say, if she is such a good friend of yours, give her the benefit of the doubt.  But don’t let her mess up your wedding plans – prepare a backup plan now!

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