Post # 1
I never wanted a big wedding, but my fiancees family is huge. We had to stretch out our budget to get all the “must invite” people on the list. I invited spouses and significant others of guests (and made sure to find out thier names and put them on the invitaions), but did not give an “and guest” to single people because we were already over extented. But now more than 10 of our single people have rsvp’d that they are bringing a date without asking first if it is ok. some of them didn’t even give names- they just put +1 on their rsvp card. Am I supposed to to pay for a theoretical person? they don’t even know who they want to bring. This adds more than a $1000 to our budget. I am freaking out and so put off that people would do this and I feel like I have no choice because I can’t offend my new family and their friends. Has anyone else had this problem? If so, what did you do about it?
Post # 3
I haven’t had that issue yet, but seen it around a lot on the bee. I do think people will be offended no matter what, and the bride always gets the blame. I think the best case scenariou is having your Fi deal with his side of the guestlist. Perhaps his parents can help him.
Everyone should have a firm and polite answer for guest., here is an example
“Hey rudeguest, we calling about your rsvp, we don’t have space for extra people due to budget and space issues.” Rudeguest blah blah blah can we come anyways, “No I’m really sorry but we don’t have the space due in your venue there are fire codes. We love for you to be there and understand if you can’t make it without a plus one”
Basically letting them know they can come alone or keep their behinds home.
Post # 4
You will have to call (not email) each person with an uninvited guest, and explain the situation. Something like, “I’m really sorry, but there’s been a misunderstanding; we’re unable to accomodate your request to bring a guest to the wedding.” Don’t go into details, because any detail you give will give that person a chance to counter-offer (like if you say it’s due to budget, they will offer to pay for their guest’s plate). Be prepared for some people to get their feelings hurt or to even say angry things, and others to decline to come to the wedding without their guest.
Post # 5
Don’t give details, just explain you can’t accommodate extra people. It’s unreasonable for people to expect that everyone and anyone can come to a wedding. It’s unrealistic.
Post # 6
I agree, no details! If you say it’s budget, they will offer to pay. If you say it’s space they’ll say something like, “Can’t we just squeeze?”
Also, if it’s fiance’s side – make him call! ha!