Freaking Out: So worried of having a miscarriage

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Did you worry about having a miscarriage?
    Yes - all the time - never went away : (9 votes)
    25 %
    Yes - came and went : (24 votes)
    67 %
    Never : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 2
    6523 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I find that worry is fading the farther along I get.  Passing the first trimester was a very good feeling.  But for a couple of months I was checking my underwear every single time, even without cramps (and mine were always gas cramps… stop giving me gas, baby!)  Even after my first ultrasound, which made me paranoid b/c it was a couple weeks behind what I thought and I’d been for-real sick for 2 weeks.  

    I won’t say don’t worry, because it won’t stop you, but at least know you’re not the only one!  Hopefully all will be totally fine.

    Post # 3
    4998 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I wish I could tell you it does, but it didn’t really for me. After years of trying and 3 IVF cycles, I was really terrified that it was all going to come crashing down on me. It did get a little bit easier after passing each milestone – betas, heartbeat, first trimester screen, anatomy scan, viability, etc. I also had complications though that I’m sure made it scarier. Just try to take it one day at a time and see a therapist if the worry is overwhelming. Best of luck!

    Post # 4
    1180 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    themissfemale :  Within the same week that we found out I was pregnant (3-4 weeks ish) I got some pretty strong cramps one day then next time I went to the bathroom there was a tiny bit of bright red blood when I wiped (I’d say Too Much Information but sometimes I think there’s no such thing with these topics). Anyway, I came out of the bathroom crying telling my husband we were losing the baby. We read the chapter on miscarriage in the book we got and he ran out and got me pads so we could see how much I was bleeding. Well the cramps had stopped and hadn’t returned and the bleeding stopped completely. I still called my dr’s office the next morning and they said it was strange to see bright red blood but since it had stopped it was a good sign. She did remind me that at this stage they wouldn’t be able to stop anything though.

    After a couple days I took another test and had such a strong line and that finally calmed me down some, but there is always some level of worry. I’m now 11 weeks and had my 2nd ultrasound this morning and saw the cutest little baby moving around in my tummy!

    Its all super scary when you aren’t sure what your body is doing so telling you not to worry won’t help much. Your moms MC’s have no bearing in your fertility. And the worry doesn’t go away just what you worry about changes… will this stick? Will it grow? Will it be healthy? Will I be a good mom? On so on….

    Hoping you have a healthy 9 months!

    Post # 5
    1951 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I was worried up until about 20 weeks. Not crazy anxiety inducing worry but it was definitely at the back of my mind. I constantly looked up statistics on the likelihood of miscarriage depending which week I was in. 

    Post # 6
    173 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    Dont worry, Im exactly the same, everytime i go for a pee im convinced ill see blood!

    Ill share a tip I read from another bee that made me feel better, and often stops me spiralling;

    1/ Firstly, you must remember that when you go online and read forums, most of the stories are going to be about negative things. Thats because its a place we can go to ask those kinds of questions without judgement. You dont see a lot of women posting about their perfect pregnancy because why would they! They are too busy enjoying it. So please bear in mind, the internet can be a frightening place. Ive learned about molar pregnanices, and all these other rare things – all they do is make me panic over something I cant control and convince myself its going to be me. So, step 1 = stop reading about miscarraige and loss. Every pregnancy is different (that includes you and your mom!). All its going to do is make you compare and convince yourself something is wrong.

    2/ Once you hear the heartbeat, the chances of misscarriage drop to just 5%. (Then 1% after 1st trimester)  Instead of focusing on that 5%, grab an image of “95%” and make it your phonescreen. That way, it will keep reminding you that you are 95% gonna be perfectly fine. Every woman assumes she will be in the 5%. Truthfully, theres nothing we can do about it anyway. Focus on those fantastic odds, relax and enjoy every moment of your pregnancy.

    Also, if it makes you feel better, im now 8 weeks and i have had mild cramps and lower back pain every day, with some very light brown spotting around week 5-6. As long as not bright red blood, its just your uterus preparing.

    Hope this helps and congratulations. xxx


    Post # 7
    600 posts
    Busy bee

    I worried pretty regularly that I was going to m/c, I had a loss and then it took almost 3 years to get pregnant again and I worried right up until I was in labour that something was going to happen. And now that my sweet boy is here, I worry constantly that I’m screwing things up with him wink

    Post # 8
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    The low grade worry never stops, honey, it just shifts. You’ll worry about miscarriage, you’ll worry about birth, then growth, then milestones, then school… but the whole time you’ll be doing something AMAZING and like PP said, the odds are very much in your favor. 

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