(Closed) Freaking Psycho!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

 

@Koolbeans621: Well, I would like to say I’d torlerate a lot and I think I do but there are limits:

I wouldn’t tolerate:

Cheating

Physical violence

Drug use (even weed)

Compulsive lying

 

Other than that I think I’m pretty understanding and forgiving but I think some things are harder to work through than others and I honestly don’t know if I could ever get over him cheating because I love him too much to forget about that

Post # 5
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee

It’s not a matter of money… It’s one thing to be out of work & searching, but if my SO lost his job, wasn’t really looking for a new one, & was depending on me to pay bills & such, that would probably be a dealbreaker. Not b/c he doesn’t have any money, but b/c he obviously doesn’t care enough about me (or our future family) to contribute somehow. You stick w/someone through a rough patch, sure, but if it’s clear they’re not willing to set realistic goals & better themself, I think it’s pointless to stick around.

While I agree that most people don’t put in the actual work needed for a relationship to succeed, I believe you should only be devoted to someone as long as they’re not abusing the devotion. The person you’re with needs to know that they can’t take advantage of you. Ever. A relationship is 50/50. Everyone always says this, but it’s some of the best advice out there.

Post # 6
Member
1240 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would put up with a lot. Even drugs and such, ONLY if they were seeking help. I’ve seen parents seperate during a down fall. And it just… never ends pretty.

That being said. I have been on the end of giving. I have EXTREME anger issues. And I have had to learn how to seperate myself. And actually leave. Long story short, I had locked myself out twice that day, got called into work on my day off, and a hand full of other things. And Fiance was going to drive his coworker home (another 30 minutes) and I had been locked out for 2 hours. Sitting on the porch, in the cold. Soemthing flicked. I had to sit in the car in order to cool off because I go into anger blackouts. Now I’m seeing someone, and we’re starting some medications. And that is the environment I grew up in, violence was okay. And I know it’s not. 

Post # 7
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

To touch on your point about personality traits. To me personality traits are typically “dealbreakers” if the couple is still in their dating phase. I would find it odd if a married couple broke up because of the others personality (unless it was a side of them they had never seen like a violent temper, etc.) but for the most part, I think couples have a good idea of each others personalities prior to walking down the aisle.

For example, I get super annoyed with jealous or controlling guys, which is why I didn’t marry one. My husband has a low tolerance for an overly dramatic girl, which is why he didn’t marry one. The reason we fell in love is becasue we are compatable & realized that why we may not like all of each others personality traits, the good well outweigh the bad & we felt this way waaay before we even got engaged.

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