Post # 1
I was read alot of post on the sites about people having issues with their male hafes which got me into a convo with my male hafe about the amount of crazy he would tolerate from me. Which is aparently alot, I mean like alot alot so it got me wondering if its just us. Our we like the only ones who are willing to look past everything for each other. Because I am like always hear about people willing to leave over the other one doesn’t make enough money or they are depressed or they are unemployed and can’t find work. Because honestly the only way I’d leave my man was if he hit me, and that only after I beat his ass for hitting me. I not even gonna get into what I would do if he actually had the balls to cheat on me, cause I am fairly certen its a felony this is a public forum. Anyhoo, my point is I’m nuts, he has his own set of issues but we in love and all that jazz doesn’t matter. What happen to that, what happen to love is all you need?? I mean, Ladies, why would you settle for less then total undying devotion?? Seriously??
Post # 3
@Koolbeans621: Well, I would like to say I’d torlerate a lot and I think I do but there are limits:
I wouldn’t tolerate:
Drug use (even weed)
Other than that I think I’m pretty understanding and forgiving but I think some things are harder to work through than others and I honestly don’t know if I could ever get over him cheating because I love him too much to forget about that
Post # 4
Scottish_lassie Well I with on 3/4 for those, though I don’t tolerate addictive drugs( heroin, meth, all that jazz) or extreme use of drugs, like doing them everyday or even every month(that includes drinking also) but a lot of that has to do with the fact that our spiritual beliefs involve use of hallucinogens(We got on a retreat about once every year or two).
I was mainly refering to personality traits and emotional reactions that seem to drive some people’s parnters over the edge.Or the glorafication of money in modern relationships, maybe its the inner straving artist in my but I would never hold it agianst my parnter if he didn’t make as much as me or if his finical goals were lower then mine.
I just don’t understand loving someone but keeping things seperate, I’m not knocking it I just don’t get it, along with a lot of other topics that end up on this board. Frankly it all makes me kind of sad…
Post # 5
It’s not a matter of money… It’s one thing to be out of work & searching, but if my SO lost his job, wasn’t really looking for a new one, & was depending on me to pay bills & such, that would probably be a dealbreaker. Not b/c he doesn’t have any money, but b/c he obviously doesn’t care enough about me (or our future family) to contribute somehow. You stick w/someone through a rough patch, sure, but if it’s clear they’re not willing to set realistic goals & better themself, I think it’s pointless to stick around.
While I agree that most people don’t put in the actual work needed for a relationship to succeed, I believe you should only be devoted to someone as long as they’re not abusing the devotion. The person you’re with needs to know that they can’t take advantage of you. Ever. A relationship is 50/50. Everyone always says this, but it’s some of the best advice out there.
Post # 6
I would put up with a lot. Even drugs and such, ONLY if they were seeking help. I’ve seen parents seperate during a down fall. And it just… never ends pretty.
That being said. I have been on the end of giving. I have EXTREME anger issues. And I have had to learn how to seperate myself. And actually leave. Long story short, I had locked myself out twice that day, got called into work on my day off, and a hand full of other things. And Fiance was going to drive his coworker home (another 30 minutes) and I had been locked out for 2 hours. Sitting on the porch, in the cold. Soemthing flicked. I had to sit in the car in order to cool off because I go into anger blackouts. Now I’m seeing someone, and we’re starting some medications. And that is the environment I grew up in, violence was okay. And I know it’s not.
Post # 7
To touch on your point about personality traits. To me personality traits are typically “dealbreakers” if the couple is still in their dating phase. I would find it odd if a married couple broke up because of the others personality (unless it was a side of them they had never seen like a violent temper, etc.) but for the most part, I think couples have a good idea of each others personalities prior to walking down the aisle.
For example, I get super annoyed with jealous or controlling guys, which is why I didn’t marry one. My husband has a low tolerance for an overly dramatic girl, which is why he didn’t marry one. The reason we fell in love is becasue we are compatable & realized that why we may not like all of each others personality traits, the good well outweigh the bad & we felt this way waaay before we even got engaged.