Post # 1
So I was going to go annon. but I wanted to to ask everoyone (who reads this post at least) how often they french kiss their SO’s, FH’s or DH’s.
I am having a couple issues with my DH in regards to this… I mean I LOVE love love kissing. I like getting and giving pecks on the mouth but I have always loved french kissing. It is just so passionate and always seems to send tingles all over.
He, on the other hand, doesn’t french kiss. I have tried to even during ‘whoopie’ (yes, I said whoopie lol) and he kinda does it but just sorta never wants to do it again.
I talked to him today about it because I just can’t stand it anymore….I seriously think its been over a year since he french kissed me. He says he just doesn’t do it. He also says that only does it when he first starts dating someone and he’s never heard a complaint about it (maybe his ex’s weren’t big into kissing either?).HE said something like “french kissing is so passionate”…. WELL CRAP, that’s why I like doing it!!! I wanted to scream “hello, do you not feel passionate about me?” … He also said he really doesn’t do it unless its during sex (yet he hardly EVER does that).
I know dang right I am not a bad kisser, lol….so I am 99% sure its not that.I don’t know how to approach this. Am I being stupid/unreasonable by being upset over this?
Post # 3
It would be frustrating if you really enjoy it.
DH and I don’t french kiss very often, but neither of us minds.
Post # 4
Oh how sad. Sorry you aren’t getting that passioante moment in your marriage often. I sincerely find it a necessary part of our relationship. When you date you care for how you look, you are kind to eachother, men are chivalrous and women are thoughtful, and we french kiss to show our passion. I don’t think any of those things should go by the wayside because you are married. I grant that once married, one f the perks is becoming comfortablde with each other, and loving each other unconditionally. However, I think that making an effort to retain passion etc in a marriage is super important.
I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. I think you have done the right thing in addressing it with your spouse. Work on letting him know how important it is for you to express your passion and feel passion in return. If you let him know how important this is, I don’t think it will be something that will happpen every day, but I imagine he will make an effort to incorporate it more often. He loves you after all, and wants you to be happy. He married you after all!
Good luck! 🙂
Post # 5
@alaskin17: oh that must be frustrating for u 🙁 has he given a reason why? We french kiss quite a bit, at the beach, in the kitchen but doesn’t last hrs more like 30 seconds lol. We both like it though if one of us didn’t we probably wouldn’t as much. id talk to your man about it. Good luck
Post # 6
@alaskin17: UGH!! <— That was for you, btw. I am seriously frustrated for you.
My ex was the same way but that was just the tip of his intimacy problems. Still, it used to frustrate me that he would only give me little pecks unless it was the middle of the night, in the dark and he wanted sex. Even then he seemed almost “asleep” or not really there mentally. He was a head case for sure.
Of course when we first started dating he was all about french kissing me, and it made me really depressed when it stopped. I know it was about him, not me, but I still tried everything I could to be more kissable until one day I realized how deep his issues were and that I am not qualified to handle them nor do I deserve to suffer for them when he wouldn’t seek help.
I’ve been with my FI for 3.5 years now and the passion has not let up. It ebbs and flows, but we still make out like teenagers once every few months or so.
I’m not sure what to advise you but I just wanted to say I know how it feels and it’s not you, it’s him.
Post # 7
I love kissing too. Sometimes we’ll be sitting on the couch, and I’ll be like “wanna make out?” and whether he’s in the mood or not, he’ll usually appease me for a minute. I don’t have advice for you, sadly, because we’ve always been a kissy couple. But maybe explaining it’s important to you? The other thing is DH used to think every time we frenched it would lead to sex, so if he wasn’t in the mood for that, he didn’t let the kissing get too far. When I explained that sometimes I just like kissing and it can stop there, he became a lot more open to mini-make-out sessions. Good luck!
Post # 8
@alaskin17: ugh, that really sucks that he won’t do it, especially if you’ve told him how much you like it :/ FI and I have been together two years and we still french kiss or make out multiple times a week, if not every day!
Post # 9
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. I love french kissing too, and I have a hard time when my husband doesn’t want to as often as I would like. I’m interested in hearing the responses. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he hasn’t budged.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
We don’t all that often either, except for something during “whoopie” (haven’t heard that in a while). Usually we just do little pecks. But you’re right, it’s super sexy.
I would just tell him very gently how much it means to you, and how much you would like it if he would go with it more often, and point out how you do things that he likes (blow jobs anyone?!? Obviously this will only work if you actually do things he likes….) Don’t make him feel pressured or guilty though. The way you said “I just couldn’t stand it anymore” makes me think you maybe put him on the defensive? That won’t work. Good luck!
(Oh and I answered this even though we’re not married cause we’ve been together for over 10 years – took the scenic route to marriage – so I feel like I’m qualified )
Post # 11
Wow, that sucks. My FI and I try to have a “real kiss” at least daily, and at minimum usually at least have a few pecks.
You are not being unreasonable, but I don’t know how you can convince him that french kisses are awesome.
Post # 12
I am the one that is not crazy about french kissing in our relationship, but it is important to DH that we do that while we DTD so we always do. And I have grown to enjoy it much more. Perhaps if he was willing to just go for it it could be the same way for him?
Post # 13
This really sucks! I love kissing especially during “whoopie” lol SO and I dont make out as much as we used to but i think we both make a conscious effort to do more often. I think your right, it shows passion and i also think it keeps the relationship feeling young and new. I hope he can understand where your coming from because im sure you do things for him that you dont necessarily enjoy all the time (know what I’m saying lol)
Post # 14
I’m not really into kissing in general, but when we still ‘french’ when we are feeling particularly passionate. I think maybe about once a week? Ish? And the rest of the time, just pecks usually. Sorry your DH isn’t into it… 🙁 I agree with PP who suggested explaining that it doesn’t always have to lead to sex? I find FI seems to think this way too, so maybe that’s part of the problem.
Post # 15
My DH and I love to french 😀 Maybe not every day, but more than once I week, I think. Making out is a fun way to get the other one in the mood!
That’s unfortunate that your DH doesn’t like to french. I think its like any intimate thing; maybe its not his favorite, but you really like it, so as long as he doesn’t hate it/it makes him uncomfortable, maybe he could try to add it in more for your sake. Though I don’t know a good way for you to communicate that with him.
Post # 16
@alaskin17: I’ll send you my dog. He loves to french kiss. I just want closed mouth kisses from him but he slips that tongue in there! and it’s a shock. He’s such a nut.