Post # 1
Hello all! I couldn’t find a recent board talking about this. Any of you had a Friday wedding, are planning a Friday wedding now, or have experience with a close friend or family member who did?
We are almost done with the planning of our Friday, November 1, 2013 wedding. (It’s getting so close!) We sent out Save-the-dates in early May notifying people of our wedding. I should start by saying, we didn’t go out of our way to plan a Friday wedding, and we also are not saving a significant amount of money by having our wedding on a Friday.. but.. we DID fall in love with a venue that was booked every Saturday in October (except 1 which is the weekend that a friend of mine is getting married and I am in the wedding lol). And both first 2 weekends in November were booked and we didn’t want to get so close Thanksgiving. So. we went with a Friday,
We asked around before making the decision, and it seemed like all was good. We were just home over this past weekend visiting. (I should elaborate. I grew up in a very small town in southern Illinois near St. Louis. Born and raised. My fiance and I moved away about 3 years ago – 4 hours away- and we still go back and visit a lot-my whole family is there.) Wedding is in St. Louis, so we were actually in town for my dress fitting. So while we were visiting, a friend of mine informed me that my friends were all talking about my wedding and were like, “omg i wonder what time it will be at,” and “i wonder if i will have to take off work” and “will it be at 1:00” and etc etc etc… first off, WHY DID NO ONE JUST ASK ME??? I have been friends with these people since kindergarten!! lol Anyone have any suggestions? I’m not a mean person lol. I mean, would you think someone would get mad at you if you asked what time their wedding was ??
Invitations were sent and most people got them last week and times were listed of course. I guess I had a few questions. First of all, if someone sent you a Save-the-date and it was on a Friday, wouldn’t you maybe request off work if it was something you were planning to go to? I mean it was 6 months in advance. Is it, in your opinion, RUDE for someone to have a wedding on a Friday? How much of an inconvenience would you consider it to have to take off work on a Friday? Would you even take off work? Most of them are less than an hour away and the ceremony is at 6:00.
Have you done this? What are your opinions on Friday night weddings? Any other comments? I’d like the hear them all!! Thanks !! 🙂
Post # 3
Well, considering we are also having a Friday wedding I think they’re totally fine. Honestly, if I was invited to a Friday wedding I’d probably take the day off regardless of when it started so I could get all prettied up. I don’t think it’s a big deal, if we weren’t close I wouldn’t do it but probably we are close if I’m invited!
Post # 4
We’re attending a Friday night wedding in a few weeks. It’s not the *most* convenient (we’re a 4-hour drive away), but it’s a very small inconvenience to be present at an important moment in someone’s life. The bride is FI’s cousin who I’ve met once or twice, and I don’t feel upset or resentful in any way.
Post # 5
Fiance and I will be having a Friday wedding. Our guests are either way out of town, so will be arriving Wednesday or Thursday, or guests are local. I dont think it should be an issue. If people know ahead of time, it really shouldn’t be an issue at all.
Post # 6
@abigailelizabeth919: Not rude, I would be willing to take off to come. Here is a related thread (sorry no automatic link). http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/friday-or-sunday-wedding-5
Post # 7
We’re having a friday night wedding (in less than 2 weeks.) So far no one but my sister has complained but that’s because she’s a teacher and nothing is good for her in September.
Post # 8
I think Friday weddings are fine, as long as they start late enought that most can comfortably arrive after work, and it sounds as if that’s the case for your wedding.
I know I’m the outlier, but no, I would not plan on taking time off of work to attend a wedding (unless I’m in it). I’m saving my vacation time for actually taking vacations, but I think I’m in the real minority.
Post # 9
I would definitely request time off, but because of how my work is we get in last minute requests all the time. On Saturdays it’s usually easier to get a replacement or work from home but its so hard to get out on Fridays unless you’re sick or something.
I’ve had a lot of Friday night plans fall through when getting a work package late in the day.
Although if I were saving up my vacation for an actual vacation I probably just wouldn’t go.
Post # 10
We’re having a Friday 6 pm wedding. The way I see it, if people can’t bear the sacrifice of using one (or even half of one) of their vacation days or floating holidays to attend this very significant event, I don’t want them there anyways. From a guest’s perspective, I love a reason to take a Friday off, and a friend’s wedding is a great one. It makes the whole work week more enjoyable when I know it’ll end in a long weekend with lots of celebrating. I honestly think people who complain about having to take a Friday off for a wedding either don’t really care for the engaged couple or tend to always look for reasons to complain.
You should ask your friends why they didn’t simply ask you. They should realize they were acting petty and immature by complaining behind your back instead of just asking you.
Post # 11
I’m having a Friday wedding (October 11th 2013– coming fast!!) It starts at 5:30 and we’ve gotten a pretty good response on our RSVP’s so far. My sister’s wedding, which was also on a Friday night, was a blast. It was nice to have an extra day to recover/relax after the wedding.
Post # 12
I would not have taken the day off with just a STD, because I wouldn’t have known if I needed a whole day or a half day at the time. On the other hand, I think Friday weddings are incredibly inconvenient (for me, at least), and I’d have to be good friends with the person to really want to go. I’m sorry to say it, but the amount of orchestration that it takes to get anywhere in my area at rush hour on a Friday makes me want to just stay home (I leave work at 3pm and sit in bumper to bumper traffic for my entire drive home most Fridays).
BUT if it were a good friend or for family, I’d deal, take the time off, and not grumble.
Post # 13
@shesho: I’m with you, in the minority. It’s hard for me to take time off, so it would be hard to attend a Friday wedding unless it’s in-town and late enough that I can get there after work.
OP – I don’t think it’s rude to have a Friday wedding, at all – you’ve gotta do what works for you! But it’s not the norm, so you’ve gotta expect some people might be confused or surprised by the logistics. Also, some people may not be able to attend, even if they care about you – they just might have work obligations that make it hard to take off. (Presentations, important meetings, evil bosses, etc!)
Post # 14
It definitely is not rude to have a Friday night wedding.
My DH and I had a Friday evening (6 p.m.), wedding on a holiday (Memorial Day) weekend.
My wedding was semi-destination, too. I and the closest guests had to travel about 1.5 hours, and the rest (including my DH) had to travel three, four, or many, many more hours to attend.
We did not send save-the-date notices, because I didn’t want to have to finalize my guest list that far in advance. I sent out my invitations about 12-13 weeks in advance of the wedding date (nine to ten weeks in advance of the RSVP date.) We really did not have any widespread problems with people not attending.
Post # 15
@LittleByLittle: I’m the same with taking days off. I work in a really demanding job and it was hard enough for me to take time off for my own wedding. The fact that I cannot take time off to attend someone else’s wedding does not mean I don’t want to be there. It just means that my job is THAT demanding.
BUT, I don’t think a Friday wedding is a problem and I would definitely attend if I could arrive after work and it was in the same city. I would even make it if I could get away with taking just a half day off work to fly in. OP, I would let people know that if they really can’t take time off work it is okay for them to skip the ceremony and just show up for the reception.
Post # 16
Fiance and I always have to travel for weddings. Literally only one wedding out of fifteen or so in five years has been where we live(d). Anyway, we always take at least Friday off to travel to the wedding. One of those weddings was a Friday and involved us flying to get there. We made sure to take an early flight on Friday morning, checked in at our hotel, got gussied up, and partied down! I don’t mind Friday weddings at all!