(Closed) Friday wedding – 2019 still

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018 - Anthem Golf & Country Club

I’m also getting married on a Friday- at 5 PM. It was a $3000 difference for my venue. But, to the people saying that $1500 isn’t a lot of money, it really is. That money could be used for so many other things (the dress, food, booze, whatever), I’d love to have an extra $1500 in my budget. Like other poster’s have said, as long as you’re ok with some people declining because they can’t get out of work, then do whatever the hell you want. You’re pay for this wedding- not the guests. Plus, you’re giving seriously adequate time for people to request off, or decide that it’s not a possibility. YOU DO YOU!

Post # 17
Member
655 posts
Busy bee

man $1500 is just shy of what my venue cost, so that to me is a HUGE difference. I don’t see anything wrong with a Friday wedding. Mine is on a Sunday to save money, so I get the need to budget and save. Personally I’d go with Friday. You can always take an informal poll among guests you know you want to invite and who are important to you, and just see what they think. In the end though, it’s whatever YOU want. Don’t let someone tell you that you have to have your wedding on a day you don’t want to have it on just to please THEM. It’s your wedding. 

Post # 18
Member
14094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would not attend an out of town wedding on a Friday night unless I was super close to the couple, and I would be pretty annoyed to attend a local wedding at 530pm on a Friday.  That basically means I have to take a half day off from work.  That’s not even accounting for the fact that I’m usually beat by Friday afternoon and have zero interest in getting dolled up to go out for an evening event. 

Post # 19
Member
34 posts
Newbee

the wedding is in 2019, thats more than enough time for people out of town to make arrangments. i would go for saturday especially if that 1500 matters to you

Post # 20
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
Chrissielisabet :  You’re welcome, and yes, keep up that confidence! People are judgy and say ridiculous stuff that they believe is “proper.” Plan for you and your FH’s day together and enjoy it!

Post # 21
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

To the OP and anyone reading this because they’re in a similar situation:

Ignore all the comments saying, “I would be annoyed if I was invited to a Friday wedding” or “That is really inconvenient to your guests” or anything else negative along those lines.

As I reminded earlier, this is your and your future husband’s day. People seem to think that your wedding is for THEM. No, you invited them because you care about them and would like to celebrate the day with them…NOT because you need their attendance or acceptance.

To be invited to a wedding is an honor, so it’s really out of line and ridiculous to have the mindset that a person as the invited guest say they’re being inconvenienced. If a guest can’t make it, they can be gracious about it…not go around thinking in their head it’s the bride and groom’s fault.

It’s also not your fault that some people have strict jobs that don’t let them take time off, especially with plenty of notice.

Post # 22
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
nicoleivy2004 :  No, you invited them because you care about them and would like to celebrate the day with them…NOT because you need their attendance

That’s your opinion, not necessarily OP’s.  Plenty of people do ‘need’ their guests to be able to attend, otherwise why not elope if you don’t care about guests attending. 

Post # 23
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
abouttodoit17 :  Because you would like them to attend, not that you “don’t care.” Sure, I guess some people might think they “need” someone to attend, but it’s all stemming from personal emotions and/or societal expectations and pressure.

Post # 24
Member
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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adventureready :  In order to make that start time, most people will have to possibly take a 1/2 day of work, i know I would. I probably wouldnt attend unless we were very close, but I have very limited vacation time. 

Post # 25
Member
3437 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

ffs…listen its 100% ok to have the wedding you want, how you want, on whatever day you want and for any reason you want. But you can still acknowledge and accept that certain days mean increased inconvenience instead of having a crap attitude about it. This is annoying, “Those who really want to be there will find a way.” Sometimes people can’t find a way and it has nothing to do with lack of desire. If someones in a position where its too much for them to lose money from missing work or possibly put a new job in jeopardy by taking off then their life priorities trump a wedding and its not bc they don’t want to be there. This is another irker, “Its YOUR wedding, do what YOU want.” Yes, its your wedding but you’re choosing to host an event and invite guests so its nice to at least consider how they feel. We’re having an early Sunday wedding for multiple reasons, that doesn’t work for a lot of people on WB but it does work for our VIPs and majority of our guests so I don’t get riled up about comments stating Sunday weddings suck bc no one here has to come to ours. 😋 Everyones entitled to their opinion and opinions were asked here. People aren’t judging or *hating* (most over used word ever, ugh) they are sharing their individual thoughts. Of course do what you want but understand acknowledging the inconvenience factor and being gracious about potential declines instead of coming off like a total douchebag makes a difference.

Post # 26
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
heavenlyflower :  I get what you’re saying, and perhaps you’re partially replying to what I’ve said in this thread. I do agree you think of your guests to an extent. Of course you would because you likely care about them. I reply in the way I did to people who come across on these boards (and in real life) like they expect to be treated like royalty. People who talk with their nose up in the air and constantly remind others about “etiquette” and sounding offended that someone would dare invite them to a Friday wedding. Those people really burn me up. yelltongue-out

Post # 27
Member
3437 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

View original reply
nicoleivy2004 :  Since you’ve put it that way I understand a little better. 😉 I think we should keep in mind that majority of us here would never be rude enough to share our negative thoughts about a wedding in real life. So while I may get an invite for a Friday and think, “Ok at least half a day off work required, definitely add an extra hour for travel due to ridiculous traffic and I’ll be tired so this will likely suck.”, I’d never actually voice those opinions to the couple or any mutual acquaintances. I’ll either suck it up and make it work then attend with a joyful attitude or send my regrets and a gift.

Post # 28
Member
9275 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I just love the hypocrisy of “OMG weddings are so expensive and friday night will save us money” whilst implying that if they really cared the guest would find a way to be there and anyone who dares complains about the inconvenience is negative and then completely ignoring the fact that in order to save themselves money they are likely costing their guests money, money that isn’t being used on a non-obligatory party but money that goes towards rent, food etc.

I would lose approx $200 if I had to take half a day off. $200 that could go a long way in paying for my out of pocket cancer treatment costs. People like nurses would have to miss an entire shift (because I don’t know many hospitals that allow nurses to work only half a shift) so miss a whole days wage. But no your right they just don’t care enough about you and had plenty of time to make arrangements.

 

Post # 29
Member
8005 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I always laugh at the people who say with enough notice everyone should be able to make any day/time work. It’s just not true. You could give me five years’ notice and there are some days I just can’t take off work or pull a child out of school to travel for anything except a health emergency.

We all have to make choices in life. You have to choose between having more guests attend on a Saturday or saving the money on a Friday. (Especially with a 5pm ceremony.) It’s your choice. Whatever choice you make own it. If you choose a Friday with an earlier ceremony understand the choice you are making and don’t complain that a large number of guests decline or miss the ceremony.

Has your Fiance polled his Out of Town family?

Post # 30
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

I think that’s fine and $1500 savings is a lot for some people. It would be for me.  I thik that a Friday wedding would be okay. How many guest would have to come in from out of town? You will need to take that into consideration, as the 5 start time would be to early. You have to take into consideration travel time, traffic and other things that can delay people.  I would start at 6:30 or 7 if you want to have it on a Friday night.  I would attend a Friday wedding if it was local or a close relative or friend.

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