(Closed) Friend added “+1” to their RSVP!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

While it was presumptuous of him to RSVP for a +1 that he wasn’t given, it’s not really that surprising if every single person in the circle of friends except him was invited with a date. This is actually one situation where I would let an unexpected +1 slide.

On the other hand, if you *really* don’t want to, you can call him and tell him that you’ve only extended +1 invites to people in serious committed relationships, and you’re sorry, but you cannot accomodate a date for him. But be sure to remind him about all the lovely single ladies who will be in attendance. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think that you or your Fiance need to let him know that while you wish you could afford everyone to bring a guest, you are forced to limit the invitations to only people you know well and the people they are involved with.  I don’t think they teach these things anymore and he is a guy.  Really, the bestman should be the one to let him know that he can’t just add a person to the party, as it wasn’t addressed to “Jack and guest”.

 

Post # 5
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Honestly some people may not be aware that a +1 can be a problem. I hate to admit it but when I was 20 I was invited to a wedding and I added a +1, I didn’t know because I was naive. The bride was a friend from work and I didn’t really know her friends so I wanted to bring someone that I knew. I look back now and see that I should have asked her first. Can your Fiance talk to him and let him know the situation? It sounds like he is the only single guy in that group so he may be feeling left out.

Post # 6
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think I woud let Fiance or the Best Man explain this one to him. You are having a smallish weedding and have had to limit the guestlist. Significant others were invited (because you actually know these people) but no “flavors of the month”! (i’m sure they can find a nicer way to say it than I would).

What is it with people adding to their RSVPs?

Post # 7
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Def let the guys deal with it.  That being said, if its going to be a huge issue between the clueless guys, maybe just let it slide. (Yes, its rude and shouldnt be done, but since it already has been – its only worth so much drama ya know?)

Post # 8
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am nervous about this happening too. We have a 200 guest list MAX and I am afraid people may show up with their children (we are having an adult only reception) or some random date, I am crossing my and hoping for the best. The only thing you can be greatful for is that he at least put the +1 on the rsvp instead of just showing up with his guest with no place for her to sit. It would be awkard for everyone.

Post # 9
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Consider this post an echo of marigolds post above. If it is totally going to throw of everythingin the wedding, I’d suggest having your guy talk to him… are you going to have single ladies there? You could always just say, we heard you havent decided on a plus one so no pressure… there are people there to meet! (if thats the case)

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