- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
So this may get a little long but I would really appreciate some advice. My best friend and I have been friends since sophmore year of highschool and we are 20 now. As our friendship grew, so did my relationship with Fiance. But both relationships became better. We talked about everything, she was always there for me and vice versa. We were true best friends and she became a sister to me. At the begining of senior year she decided she wanted to be a doctor but take a semester off to do some sort of retreat with her church. I completly supported her and was so happy she had such high goals. Then towards the middle of senior year I decided I wanted to start going on double dates since her and Fiance were my two favorite people. So I got her talking to one of FI’s buddys, not a close friend but they played football together, we will call him W. They fell head over heals for eachother, I’m happy she found someone she loved but I always thought they rushed into their relationship.
Well a few months later I was only able to see her in school or on double dates, I know that is what I wanted but I still wanted girl time! We graduated (Not W, he still had a year left) and during the summer I got to see her twice by herself and on the second she informed they were planning on getting married within in a year of him graduating (they had only dated for a few months at this point) She also decided to become a dental assistent and skip school so she could save for the wedding, not what I agreed with, I told her my feelings but that I would be there for her with whatever she chooses. Well I left for school and we kept in touch and stayed good friends. They were engaged a week after he graduated and we went full ahead with wedding planning, she knew I thought they were rushing it but I was there for her for everything and even accepted the fact that the only time I got to see her alone was when she was wedding planning, so I took advantage of that and helped her a lot with the wedding.
In January I stood next to her while she spoke her vows. I have seen her 4 times since then, ONCE alone. That one time was in May when she informed me she was pregnant. YIKES, he doesn’t have a job and they are barely making ends meet I know it will work itself out but I am still scared for her but we went to a baby store and I got her a bib and some booties and told her anything she need I would be there.. My birthday came, she texted that we should hang out, I said when? completely willing to change any plans just to see her. But nothing ever happened, her birthday came I offered to take her out when she had plans, she came up with a bunch of excuses so I gave up. I ended up getting her to go out to lunch with me but she brought her Darling Husband along and it was a little awkward because Fiance wasn’t there and they knew he wasn’t going to be there.
Then I got engaged, she was one of the first I called and she said we should all go out and celebrate, a mutual friend ended up planning a little dinner, it was nice seeing her but of course not the same. Everytime I try to see her she either comes up with an excuse or brings Darling Husband. We text at least once a week but she only wants to talk about her baby and my wedding which is three years away! Can’t we just talk anymore? Friday I texted her to make plans on Thursday, making it very clear I just wanted to see her. She had to check with Darling Husband, understandable, but to give her a nudge I told her we could hit the baby store because she just found out she was having a girl and I needed to get her something pink. By Sunday I heard nothing so I texted her and we made plans for just us, as far as know, he has been known to pop during our girl time. I feel like I have to bribe my best friend to see me. I just want to talk to her and hang out. I love her and don’t want to loose her but I feel like I already have.
We have a great relationhip when we are together and I still feel very close to her but I need in person interaction. My other two friends moved out of state so she is all I have for hanging out outside my Fiance, who I love dearly but it isn’t the same as a girlfriend! And I should mention I really don’t like her Darling Husband, because he is lazy, doesn’t help her with bills or around the house and is rude to me, though I am always nice to him when we are together. Should I keep trying with her or just give up? Or something in between? And I am trying to make more friends but it is hard for me, so she is what I got for now. Thank you if you made it this far!