(Closed) Friend already attending wedding on our date…send invite anyway?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Nah, I would send one. If I was a good friend, I’d like to know that they actually wanted me there. And I’d like to see the invitation and would be looking forward to the photos.

Post # 4
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@LibrarianBride:  I dont think its gift grabbing. I would think it was a nice gesture to let me know that I am indeed invited, even though I sadly cant make it. Same reason Ill be sending invites to some out of  country family friends- will they make it? No, but they will still be honored by the invite.


Post # 5
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i would still send one.  i don’t think it’s gift grabby at all.  just because someone is invited to a wedding, it does not mean that they are obligated to give you a gift.

Post # 6
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

As a guest I wouldn’t consider that gift grabby at all.

I’m inviting loads of people I know won’t be able to make it. I want there to be no question that having them at my wedding would be an honor.

Post # 7
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@LibrarianBride:  You could send an invite along with a personal note that says “We know you guys are spoken for, but just want you to know you’ll be missed on our special day/you’re invited/etc……..”

Who know if they’ll send a gift– but either way, the invite is a nice gesture!

Post # 8
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@LibrarianBride:  Why don’t you send one and have a note in it that says, “I know you can’t make it because of the other wedding, but we’d love to have you in spirit” or something nice like that.

Post # 9
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@LibrarianBride:  If you’re concerned it looks gift grabby, maybe include a nice handwritten note with the invitation saying something simple about how you just wanted to include them even though they can’t attend?



@MrsEME:  @Chrysoberyl:  Haha, we all thought the same thing at once!


Post # 10
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would send a hand written note with the invitations stating that you understand that they are unable to come but you wanted to include them in your special day. 

Post # 11
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@LibrarianBride:  I would still send the invitation – it’s not gift grabby, especially since they already know they’re invited from the save the date.  It would only be gift grabby to invite friends and relatives exclusively because you know they wouldn’t come.

Post # 13
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Chrysoberyl:  Bah…..totally distracted and didn’t even see your reply before I wrote mine LOL


Yes!! great minds!!

Post # 15
3905 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Waitingbee57:  I totally agree!

If you don’t want to appear “gift grabby” then insert a personalized note to let them know you understand they cannot attend, but wanted them to know you were still thinking of them.

Post # 16
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would definately still send one.

I was your friend at one point- I was Maid/Matron of Honor at my best friends wedding and another friend from college had a wedding on that same day. I told her I woldn’t be able to go as soon as I knew and she never sent me anything. I felt silly, but I still felt slighted. I would have liked to still get an invite. Maybe I’m silly.

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