(Closed) Friend as officiant…

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
7422 posts
Busy Beekeeper

We had a 15 min ceremony officiated by DH’s brother. It was mostly secular, with a bit of interfaith color. Here’s how it went:

Welcome remarks by officiant (he wrote these himself and we approved them) 

Reading by my cousin (Corinthians 13)

DH and I read each other our self-written vows

“Repeat after me” traditional vows

Exchange of rings

Common cup (we both drink from the same glass of wine)

Pronouncement of marriage by officiant

Breaking of the glass (DH is Jewish)

Brief interfaith blessing by priest who is a family friend

 

Post # 3
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I wrote my own non-religious ceremony and here’s the basic outline:

– Welcome (Please be seated, bride and groom are glad you’re here, how much you mean to them, etc)

– Address (paragraph on bride and groom and their love story, paragraph about love, quote about marriage)

– Reading

– Address continued (paragraph about marraige, another quote about marriage)

– Vows and expression of intent (the “I Do”s)

– Ring Exchange and Ring Vows (I.e. the “with this ring” bit)

– Pronouncement and kiss

Pretty short. I found a few links helpful:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2011/11/20/a-secular-wedding-ceremony-from-start-to-finish/

https://www.officianteric.com/wedding-ceremony-samples/

http://images.theknot.com/SecularCeremonyScript2.pdf

http://images.theknot.com/SecularCeremonyScript32.pdf

 

Post # 5
Member
7422 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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futureblagdon2018 :  I can definitely relate! Figuring out how to balance religion in our wedding ceremony (or whether to include any religion or not) was the single biggest issue we faced in wedding planning. Actually it’s the biggest issue we’ve faced in our entire relationship. We even went to counseling over it.

In the end, the way we decided to do our ceremony pissed off both sets of our parents. DH’s Jewish parents were really upset that there was any element of Christianity in the ceremony, and my Christian parents were upset that it wasn’t in a church and that the officiant wasn’t a priest. But everyone got over it and supported us on the day, so we’re calling it a win!

Post # 7
Member
2228 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

http://snippetandink.com/non-religious-wedding-ceremony-script/

 

I think this one is pretty good. I used something like this as a template, but had very specific ideas about how I wanted the ceremony to go, so I modified the script accordingly. My friend got ordained in the Church of The Big Lebowski, so there are some references to how we are going to “abide” together and other inside jokes. 

 

Post # 8
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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futureblagdon2018 :  I picked pieces/parts from ceremony wording I found online. Absolutely none of it was religious, save the “breaking of the glass” (DH is Jewish, I was raised Catholic – neither of us are very religious now, and he was never Bar Mitzvah’ed either).

It was sort of like, Welcome, Declaration of Intent (I wasn’t sure what this was, basically however you want the officiant explain that you intend to be married to each other of your own free will…I picked some wording from the internet that I liked), reading (Velveteen Rabbit excerpt), vows (wrote our own), exchange of rings, pronouncement, glass break, kiss, done. I think all in all it was 7 mins or less.

I was also worried that my Catholic father would be upset that we included a glass breaking but no Christian elements. What DH and I decided was that as he was Jewish and would be breaking the glass, it was his decision, and wasn’t necessarily making the ceremony “religious.” My dad ended up being fine with it. Also – I read ahead of time that since breaking an actual glass is dangerous and somewhat difficult to do because of the thickness, to break a glass ornament instead. We wrapped ours in a handkerchief and it broke easily, glass didn’t fly anywhere, and was easy to clean up.

We also weren’t going to do the Hora at the reception for the same reasons as the glass break – I didn’t want the Catholic side of my family to be offended. However, unbeknownst to us, our friends spoke with the DJ privately and set it all up. I’m so glad we did it because it was awesome and I’d always wanted to do it, and at that point I didn’t really care what people thought, but no one cared at all. I think if we’d done things like adding Hebrew prayers or more truly “religious” elements there might have been some side-eyeing, but we did our day our way and I have no regrets.

Post # 10
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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futureblagdon2018 :  We had zero religion in our short ceremony.  It went like this:

Opening/welcome

Words about marriage and commitment, a quote about marriage, officiant spoke about it and how affected us.

How officiant knew us as a couple, shared a few stories about us and what we are like as a couple.

Statement of Intent

Vows

Exchange of Rings

Announcing us as a married couple

Kiss

Voila!!  Married!

Less than ten minutes – it was perfect.

Post # 12
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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futureblagdon2018 :  You are welcome!  I should have added that our officiant knew us for a few years and has known my hubby for about ten years.  It really gave a personal touch and everyone commented on how personal and touching it was.  Best wishes!!

PS – people will REALLY appreciate a short ceremony. They will thank you!

Post # 13
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - State Park

 

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futureblagdon2018 :  We had a friend officiate our wedding about 4 months ago in a 7ish minute completely non-religious ceremony. I found a few templates and SCRUBBED any sense of religion. Like if it mentioned faith even in each other, I didn’t let the word faith in. We were adamant that there was to be zero hint of anything religious. I’ll leave the script here in an hour or so! Or at least the main template!

Post # 14
Member
3117 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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futureblagdon2018 :  I had a short 15- minute ceremony officiated by my aunt, albeit very religious. Best advice is to google different templates to get the juices flowing and write it yourself. That’s what we did! It was a great feeling to commit to something that we actually believe in (because we wrote it together). And, we were able to remove anything we didn’t believe in (like wives obeying their husbands lol – not gonna happen). Good luck!!

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