(Closed) Friend as officiant

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ixtlali:  I just PMed you!

 

We wrote our entire ceremony on our own.  Our officiant provided us with tons of resources, but we actually found everything we used online and very little came from his resource book he sent us!

 

Post # 4
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Ixtlali:  My cousin does weddings and said most things she finds are like one couple’s whole ceremony. Like this one

Post # 5
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We did the same thing! We wanted secular but personal. The first thing I would do is go out and get The Wedding Ceremony Planner, which is a book for writing your own ceremony that I used obsessively. It outlines every aspect of writing a ceremony from scratch, planning logistics, doing the rehearsal, etc. It has a bunch of wording samples as well.

Then I would create a Google Drive or Word document and create and write a rough outline to be the bones of your ceremony. That way you can paste in wording snippets, etc. as you find them and eventually fill in the gaps. If you do it online in Google Drive, you can share the doc with your Fiance and officiant. We added a few snippets and the vows, then gave it to the officiant to fill in the rest and didn’t look at it again because we wanted to be a little surprised by how he personalized it. (I also sent him some links to full ceremonies for ideas, like Mrs. Cherry Pie’s.)

Our whole ceremony was short, sweet, and personal. We kept the vows portion fairly  traditional, and I also think our officiant did a great job of combining sweet personal details with humor. The whole thing lasted 15-20 minutes, though you could easily add in some filler elements, like a unity candle or readings, which we nixed. Here’s the text:


Welcome. Good afternoon, family and friends. We’ve come here today to celebrate the wedding of [Anemonie] and [DH].

On behalf of [DH] and [Anemonie], thank you for joining us. They are delighted that you have come to share in the joy of this special day.

By your presence, you celebrate the love that they have discovered in each other and you support their decision to commit themselves to a lifelong relationship.

And on behalf of everyone here today, we would like to thank [Anemonie] and [DH] for allowing us to share in this special day.

[Anemonie] and [DH], we’ve all traveled from every corner of this country to celebrate with you. Not because these gardens are some of the most beautiful on earth. Not because of the stunning autumn leaves and fall colors. And definitely not because of the wonderful food and drinks we will all be having soon. But because we all care and love you, and we are all extremely privileged to be able to take part in and witness what is to be the most important day of your life.

Of course, we all thank you for the open bar later as well. Rest assured, this group will not disappoint.

I must say I feel blessed to be in this position. Having been close with [DH] and [Anemonie] as their relationship has grown over the years, during this time, I have played many distinguished roles during their relationship: a friend, a best friend, a brother, a partner in crime, a confidant, and today, a wedding officiant.

Of all these roles on my resume, today is my greatest honor. And with these roles and those great memories, [DH], we’ve certainly been through a lot. The old Kent days, it’s hard to believe it’s been so long. It’s been over 7 years, but it seems like just yesterday we were all together in tri towers, grabbing a late night meal at Rosie’s, heading down South Lincoln to Water Street, jamming out to queen’s greatest hits with little regard for those ears who might be listening.

[DH], indeed we’ve been through a lot, and a lot has changed over the years, but one thing has remained constant, and that’s [Anemonie].

[Anemonie], the daughter of a man who has dedicated his life to helping others and his wife who shares that passion. And [Anemonie], the little sister to a gifted environmental scientist. [Anemonie] has always been by your side.

[Anemonie], it’s clear you’ve been brilliantly raised. A loving mother, a devoted father, a wonderful brother in a supportive environment. It really is marvelous that you have put up with [DH] for so long.

And you [DH], you as well have had a wonderful upbringing. And you without doubt have taught me many things about life in the time that I have known you. But more importantly, you have given us all an example of how to find true love. And now you are both as one today, ready and eager to be married.

Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. By making this commitment today, [DH] and [Anemonie]’s relationship will become stronger, deeper, and better.

Today, [DH] and [Anemonie] demonstrate their devotion to each other by dedicating themselves to a life together. And they show their respect for each other by setting forth to honor the vows they will pledge to one another.

[DH], [Anemonie], your marriage will no doubt be filled with surprises. Some you will welcome. A new job. A new pet. Children?

While others will test the strength and flexibility of your marriage. Like watching the Browns play on Sunday.

Marriage is the essence of human relationships, and it challenges us to be of one accord without abandoning the truth of our individuality. It challenges us to not lose ourselves in one another, but rather to walk side by side, heading in the same direction.

As with all relationships, marriage is an endless presentation of choices about how we want to be with one another. Each choice results in either more unity or more separation. Choose into that unity, [DH] and [Anemonie], every chance you get. Sacrifice your judgments, expectations, and any other ways you have learned to separate yourselves from each other. Share the gifts of your friendship, humor, vulnerability, sensitivity, and kindness.

Be sure to find ways each day to protect, affirm, and support each other and to treasure the balance and shared values you have found in one other. And when deciding how to face the more surprising challenges in your marriage, always lead with your hearts.

As much as today is a celebration of the beginning of [DH] and [Anemonie]’s marriage, it is also a celebration of their love, which is built upon the years that they have spent together. And just as their love has carried them through the trials of their past, it will carry them through the future trials they will face together as husband and wife.

They have invited us to this beautiful place, to the Sieberlings’ historic gardens, to witness their union and share in the joy they have created by their love and commitment today.

They ask that we open our hearts and minds to the timelessness of this place, and to the love we are here to share through this ceremony. As family and friends, we form a community of support that surrounds [DH] and [Anemonie]. Each of us, by our presence here today, is being called upon to uphold them in loving each other.

Always stand beside them, not in between them. Offer them your love and your support, not your judgment. Offer them your encouragement when encouragement is needed, and listen to them when they ask for advice.

In these ways, we can honor this marriage into which they have come to be joined today.

[DH], do you take [Anemonie] to be your lawfully wedded wife? To live in the state of matrimony, love, honor, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her, for as long as you both shall live?

Darling Husband: I do.

And [Anemonie], do you take [DH] to be your lawfully wedded husband? To live in the state of matrimony, love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him, for as long as you both shall live?

Anemonie: I do.

From the earliest times, the circle has been a symbol of completeness, an unbroken and never ending circle symbolizing committed love.

As often as either of you will look at this symbol, I hope you will be reminded of the commitment of love to each other that you will make today. As a token of mutual fidelity, affection, the rings will now be given and received. [Best man’s name]?

[DH], take this ring, place it on [Anemonie]’s finger. Say this pledge to her, repeating after me.

I, [DH], take you [Anemonie] to be my wife. [Repeated.]

I promise to love you, hold you, and honor you. [Repeated.]

To respect you, encourage you, and cherish you. [Repeated.]

In sickness and in health. [Repeated.]

Through sorrow and success. [Repeated.]

For all the days of my life. [Repeated.]

And with this ring, I thee wed. [Repeated.]

[Anemonie], take this ring, place it on [DH]’s finger. say this pledge to him, repeating after me.

I, [Anemonie], take you [DH] to be my husband. [Repeated.]

I promise to love you, hold you, and honor you. [Repeated.]

To respect you, encourage you, and cherish you. [Repeated.]

In sickness and in health. [Repeated.]

Through sorrow and success. [Repeated.]

For all the days of my life. [Repeated.]

And with this ring, I thee wed. [Repeated.]

[DH] and [Anemonie], we have heard your promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize and respect the vows you have made up here this day before each one of us as witness.

In the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today, and in accordance with the laws of the state of Ohio, it is my honor and delight to declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride. [Smooches.]

I now present to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. [Our last name].

Post # 6
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

These may not be personal enough for you but these are the San Francisco City Hall Vows (they may not be exact because I just transcribed them from a couple videos):

Bride and Groom, we are gathered here in the presence of your family and friends for the purpose of uniting you in solemn matrimony. The contract of marriage is most solemn and is not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and seriously with a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities. Allie and Geoff, there are no words of mine, or of anyone else’s that can truly marry you. That is done when you exchange your promises and commit yourselves to each other and to this marriage. By entering into marriage, you are pledging yourselves to a lifetime, in which each will enrich the life of the other. You will be partners, standing together, to cushion the difficulties of life. Rejoice in your partner’s graces, nurture your love carefully and watch it grow gracefully. Marriage is a point of honour. 

Do you Groom, take Bride to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and cherish as long as you both shall live.

I do.

Do you Bride take Groom,  to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and cherish as long as you both shall live.

I do.

Bride I give you this ring, in token and in pledge, of my constant faith, and abiding love. With this ring, I thee wed. 

Groom I give you this ring, in token and in pledge, of my constant faith, and abiding love. With this ring, I thee wed. 

Bride and Groom, you have joined yourselves in solemn matrimony. May you strive all your lives to meet this commitment with the same love and devotion that you now possess, for love surely is the greatest gift we are given, and we are given it to share. Love’s compassion is the glory of life. Delight in each other’s company, and never take each other for granted. For you are destined to enjoy the blending of your two lives.

 And now in as much as you Bride and Groom have given and pledged your love and faithfulness each to the other and have declared the same by joining hands, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the state of California, it is now my extreme honour and pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations.

 

Post # 7
Member
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Oh this is a great thread!

@Ixtlali:  are you me? This sounds exactly like our situation!

@MrsWBS:  would you pretty please PM me too? I would loooove to take advantage of your expertise. I’m kind of lost at where to even begin on the ceremony writing business, and Fiance just wants to say “We do! Let’s party!” (Maybe getting off WB and actually trying would be a good start?!)

Post # 10
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lolot:  sure, just PMed you! We dreaded writing our ceremony but once we got started it was a lot of fun and super meaningful and ended up being one of my favorite parts of planning.

Post # 11
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsWBS:  Can you send it to me, too?? We are having my brother officiate the wedding!

Post # 12
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t have advice on where to look, since our friend wrote the whole speech himself, and it was a surprise for us. (His wife checked it out  for us to make sure it was all good). We are in the video game industry, love different tv/movies, comics, etc… big ole nerds, basically!! (Mostly my husband though :)) So, he took the basic stuff that people say in a ceremony and translated it into cool-nerd speak. 😉

Post # 13
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsWBS:  Can you send it to me, too?? Thank you so much!

Post # 14
Member
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@Ixtlali:  Nice – we’re not doing our wedding actually in the mountain either, but it’s at a pretty venue with mountain views.  

@AllieBee12:  @anemonie:  @MexiPino:  Those are great, thanks!  Even though this wasn’t my thread, I’m totally going to poach a little from your wording.

Post # 15
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MrsWBS:  Would you mind sending it to me, too? I’m in the same boat as everyone else…friend doing the wedding, secular ceremony wanted but it’s extremely daunting to think about starting an outline. Eek!

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