(Closed) Friend asking too many favours

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
462 posts
Helper bee

Ahh okay well in that case I just wouldn’t agree to walk the dog again. I know that can be easier said than done if you’re not good at saying no. So try to imagine the different things she might say/ask and practice your standard responses and politely shutting the conversation down. And don’t let her sway you or talk you around. 

These would be my go to responses. I doubt she’d be as rude/pushy as some of these questions below but if you’re prepared she won’t be able to catch you off guard! 

 

Q: What are you up to this evening / tomorrow evening?

A: Not sure of my plans yet

Q: Would you be able to walk my dog?

A: Sorry as mentioned I don’t know what our plans are so can’t commit to helping. 

 

Q: hey could you let me know which days you’re free next week / next month so you can walk dog. 

A: sorry I can’t commit in advance

 

Q: do you not want to take my dog for a walk? / I’d happily return favour for you. / I thought we were friends. / Why are you being weird about walking my dog?

A: Sorry it’s just a bit much for me to take on the walking or care of another dog. However there are some great dog walkers in the area that I’ve looked into for [mention your own dog]. I can send you the list of you’d like?

 

Q: Why is it a bit much? It’s not really that hard to walk him once in a while. 

A: I need to manage my time and priorities the way that’s best for me and my family and it’s just not something I’m able to commit to. However there are some great dog walkers in the area…

 

Q: You’d really be helping me out / my dog won’t get walked or fed / I’ll have to cancel my plans

A: There are some great dog walkers in the area…

 

Q: I can’t find a dog walker at this short notice.

A: That’s too bad. [Partner’s name] and I have also had to cancel plans before because of dog care. Isn’t it funny what we do for our fur babies ha ha ha

Post # 17
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Yeah, so I would tell her either point blank that I can’t keep committing to dog walks for her, or be “busy” from now on. I lean toward the point blank route.

Most people understand not to use others, but I’d at least find a way to tell her before cutting her off. If she doesn’t get the hint or finds a work-around to get you to care for her dog, then cut her off. The only reason I say be upfront is because I have known several people that when they get in a situation, they stop interacting with the friend. Then, overbearing friend has no clue what is going on, and continues to bother them until they have to tell the overbearing friend to buzz off anyway. Meanwhile, they build up a ton of stress about the situation.

Post # 18
Member
3545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

cc5598:  The next time she asks, ask her if she ever considered a dog walking service since she seems too busy. Maybe that would help her realize that she’s really asking too much of you. 

Post # 20
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

cc5598:  If she already has a professional caring for the dog then it just sounds like she’s trying to guilt you into a little free labor. berrybelle has a perfect script to follow to get her to back off. Just remember, she’s the one being rude by constantly imposing on you.

Post # 21
Member
5916 posts
Bee Keeper

I love dogs, so if I already had my own dog to walk anyways I wouldn’t mind adding a buddy-dog to walk with him. BUT I’m not loving on the sponge-y neighbour so much as I am her dog, so next time she asked if I was home for the evening and would I walk her dog, I’d say ‘sure, no prob- hey! are you going out? Can you do me a favour?’ lol and I’d hand her a list of items to pick up for me at the grocery store/ drug store etc. If I had a reciprocal favour I needed from her every time she asked, she may not ask me so much anymore- and if this doesn’t stop her I’m still a happy camper because I’d rather walk her doggie than stand in line at Wal-mart (which she’ll be doing for me lol)

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